Guilty Pleasures & Trade offs

In the past 24 hours I have embraced my Summer's guilty pleasure, and embarked on a two year trade off with my family.
Guilty pleasure: 3 hours a week of Awful television -- Big Brother 8.
Trade Off: 2 years of journalism school, after which I pick up the first job that comes along, whether or not it is in fact in a journalistic field. (Yikes! - There is a God...)
I was watching Big Brother last night, and one of the scenes that stood out the most, was when Jen lied and told everyone that Nick tried to kiss her, just because she was jealous that he was spending a lot of time with Danielle. (Wow?!?) It's amazing to see how someone can be so wrapped up in her own little world that she loses sight of reality and the truths that surround her. This is a girl who, in real life is so used to getting attention (based on physical attributes, not personality), that while being trapped in a house full of people, she feels that she has no other option but to lie BADLY in order to get attention! If you're going to lie, at least be smooth about it. Sigh! I guess people do this in real life too, but we don't really see both sides of it, like we did here.

More on the trade off later.

Someone at the gym told me {by the way, i've worked out 3 times so far this week (yay me!)} that a mean persona for a nice person should not be a seperate entity. I told him that I was working on releasing mean Me out into the world. He suggested that mean, angry, hurt, sad, happy, joyful, etc... should just be part of who you are, and not someone seperate. Release Baracuda, Lioness sides of yourself, but don't make them entire beings. Now, this makes sense to me.... does it make sense when I type it out for people to read? I don't know. I guess this is my struggle towards becoming a Whole person. I want balance and serenity in my life and it is something that I have struggled with throughout my existence. Some days are worse than others, and sometimes something will happen that will make me feel like my world is crashing in around me. I am working on it, folks! I'm working on finding that switch inside me, that will hold me together when someone screams "the sky is falling!" Baby Steps.