Sunday, 27 January 2008

Realistic... really!

I watched Juno this past weekend and absolutely enjoyed it! I've also been indulging in a PBS series, which shows Jane Austen movies every sunday at 9pm... that's my plug, encouraging you to watch it as well! (Have I ever mentioned my love for all things Jane Austen?)

I guess all these movies of heroines and leading men got my mind wandering again. I was talking to a few of my friends over the weekend and realized I've (finally) found someone who I've placed as my bar. It may seem unrealistic, as no one can be categorized or boxed... and if we want to do that to people, we may find ourselves in more trouble than we bargained for.
In any case... this is the description I managed to fester up:

Tall... well taller than me at least.
Strong... silent: Not Hercules or a mute... but good presence... and values his words... may not say the right thing all the time... but makes an effort to.
Presents himself to the world as proper... straight edged... I like to call it the Clark Kent syndrome. I'm a sucker for the 'computer-geek' glasses!
Takes Casual Friday seriously... I'm talking leather jacket...
Has bad-boy characteristics... but feels no need to flaunt them. May have a tattoo... the world doesn't need to know.
Reads novels... not ashamed of it.
Self proclaimed geek... but the confidence he exudes makes him all the more ... what's the word I'm looking for?
Good posture... not a slouch... looks at the world instead of hiding from it.
No intention of changing for anyone... but possibly modest and shocked at compliments.
Shocking... but not terrifying.
Relaxed... but not lazy.
Has no reason to be loud... whispers at the right moments... communicates with silence, smiles, touches and eye contact.

Fanny never settled for anything less than she knew she deserved. Alex told me never to settle for anything less than I deserve. I know I won't settle...
But describing you... as I see you... from what I know of you... was well worth the time it took to draw you out of my mind and paint you with words.



Tuesday, 22 January 2008

Forbidden Thinking

I know... I know...
I've been told more than a thousand times that I should stop thinking! I can't help it.
Today I wondered about how and why things work out so well for some people time after time, while they barely ever do for others. Isn't there supposed to be some sort of karmic/cosmic balance in the universe? The Yin-Yang idea?

I've seen some people put so much of their effort into gaining just a slight step in the direction they want their lives to head in... for others, they don't even need to nod or blink for what they want -- it just happens!
I know that the feelings that stem from gaining something you've longed for a very long time are awesome. However, the frustration is far worse.

Eventually, something's got to give right?

When is eventually, though? A week? A month? A year? A decade?

I don't know how much I believe in this idea of "good things come to those who wait" or "don't look for it... it will look for you."
Seems like those ideas were just made up by people who already had it all or by those who wanted to justify why they didn't get what they wanted or needed.

Going after something you want is easier said than done as well, when for most people, what they want falls right into their laps...
Meanwhile those who worked their butts off for as long as they can remember... are left with ..... nothing-ness.

I really wish I could understand how things work. Who decides who gets to be happy and who gets to work for nothing? Who calls the shots for our lives? Who rolls the dice time after time, and says "today I will keep this person on the eternal wait-list for happiness.... and push this person ten steps further into a life they're already over satisfied with" ?

I just got home from a long day. There may be a slight possibility that the full moon outside has affected me.... though, as usual... I highly doubt it.

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