Music, moments and memories

One of the last distinct conversations I remember having with my father happened a year ago today. There were more, of course, but this one stands out in particular because of the date. It was about the death of Whitney Houston. She, for as long as I can remember, was always one of his favourite singers. "She has such a powerful voice, no?" he would often say to me.

He would then go on to compare her to the latest singers -- most of whose names he could barely remember. He would make up their names, coming as close as possible, but never quite get them. I guess it showed he didn't care much for the Britneys and the Chris Browns of modern music. He often vented about how the latest music was "rubbish". "Whitney -- wow!" he would say.

So when he found out one of our timeless favourites had passed away last February, all he could say in reaction was "So sad..." over and over again, with a contemplative look on his face. He knew her life story and said all of that didn't matter because she was an amazing singer with a beautiful gift. It was fun watching him talk about the things he felt passionately about.

The more I think about it, the more I realize he must have known he didn't have long either. Just over four months later, he passed away.

Image courtesy of Google Images

That's the thing, though. My father always had a special connection to his love for music. He preferred his trusty little transistor radio (tuned in to one of two stations -- CBC Radio 2 or the best of the oldies), to any television show. Well, except for Turner Classic Movies.

But the one thing that defined my father... The one way everyone knew he was home from work was because of the music -- soft acoustic jazz, classic crooners, the oldies and so much more. He loved it all.

And that's how we knew something was amiss towards the end. He was home, but the sweet sounds that floated lightly through the silence had stopped. The music had stopped, and that's how we knew.

Today, his little transistor radio sits on my kitchen counter, tuned to the same station that played his favourites for him in the evenings -- CBC Radio 2. Sometimes, when I miss him the most, I turn it on and it feels like he's in the room with me.

That's the funny thing about music -- it's the easiest way to connect with a memory. Music evokes emotions, and it's a wonderful thing. Whether a vacation, a moment of nostalgia or a person, music is universal and it acts as the invisible thread that ties our past, present and future together into a lovely package.

So whatever happens, whatever you do, don't let the music in your life stop playing.

xo

Simi

Friday evenings are meant for...

Friday evening. It's one of my favourite times during the week. When the day begins to close, I get a sense of satisfaction from having finished another set of work days. I always take a moment to sit down and quickly reflect on all that was accomplished, and make a mental note of all that needs to be done. But not till Monday. On Friday evenings I look forward to two days of just being. I look forward to no forced commitments (for the most part) and I enjoy a few moments of quiet when I can simply just be.

I think we forget to do that more often than not. Unwind. When was the last time you did something just for yourself? I think it's important to reconnect with yourself from time to time. Whether you simply take yourself out for a coffee date, go for a long drive or spend a few moments just paying attention to where you are in time and space... it makes a big difference to your overall being.

Image courtesy of Pinterest.com

My favourite things today include:
. Songza (and how the app knows just which song I need to hear).
. Woollen socks on cold days.
. My desktop background: A photo of waves hitting the shore. The perfect solution to getting through Snowpocalypse 2013.
. A fantastic and talented graphics designer who has been working with me on a special project.
. Spring flower bouquets on dull, dark days.
. Receiving texts from my mother.
. Remembering one of my favourite quotes from Mansfield Park: "There are as many kinds of love as there are moments in time." - Edmond
. These boots.
. Knowing I'm going home to a warm bed tonight.
. The fact that two weeks from today, I'll be here.

Now it's your turn to fill in the blank. "Friday evenings are meant for _______________."

A 2013 wish for you and me

Hello dear friend,

It's new year's eve in Toronto, and I've spent some time thinking about what I'd like to say to you as we start 2013. I also spent a considerable amount of time reflecting on all that happened this past year...

And then I realized I was done with it.

2012 was a monumental year for me, and I know I'll never forget it. But it's also time to embrace the present reality, recognize that the past is just that -- the past, and to look hopefully towards a brighter future.

I couldn't find better words than these gems from Neil Gaiman. So here's to you and your dreams, my friend. May the New Year 2013 be everything you wish it to be, and may you and your loved ones be blessed with all the things that will make your hearts sing.

 

Image courtesy of Pinterest.com

 

xo

Simi

Anything but the (bad) news

I follow a number of organizations and pages over on Facebook. These pages either represent various brands I like or share information and content I enjoy. One of my favourite pages by far, however, is Overheard in the Newsroom. Everyday I see at least one to two anecdotes submitted by members from various newsrooms that resonate. Quotes can range from the daily hilarious one liner to something more significant. Like this one (pictured below), posted two days after the Connecticut school shooting on December 14th, 2012. 

Screengrab courtesy of StraightFromTheCurls

In a day when news is literally available at our fingertips, it can be hard to tune out. From newspapers to 140 characters on Twitter, if something is trending, we're going to hear about it -- whether good or bad. But it seems like these days, it's mostly bad. Bad news is magnified. It's what sells. If we're not getting the straight skinny, we're getting the angles. And the worst part is the rush to get the information across. For instance, in an effort to be the 'first' to break news to the worldwide audience, news agencies didn't fact-check the information they provided about the true identity of the Sandy Hook killer or his relationship to the school.

I think that's what frustrates me the most. When I work with interns I try to drill the importance of fact-checking their work before hitting the submit button. Yes, in the online world we're able to edit our work as soon as we notice our mistakes, but news travels so fast that the ramifications of false information circulating over the Internet (even for mere minutes) can create a negative ripple effect.

Anyway, I guess my point in all this is that sometimes silly news is good news. It's healing. Viral videos of puppies driving cars or cute cards with catchy phrases are more than welcome amidst such sadness. In fact, I told someone the other day that there should be a Funniest Home Videos channel. Laughing uncontrollably for even 15 short minutes can make such a difference to our overall health.

So with that said, here are my five favourite links from this past week. At some point or another they've either made me giggle at my desk or want to share them with coworkers and friends. I hope you get a laugh (or two) from them, and I also hope you'll feel inclined to share them with those who need them the most.

1. Said dog on bicycle referred to in the Overheard in the Newsroom comment.

2. A Boston terrier puppy who can't keep his hind legs down while eating.

3. 11 people we don't want to see in 2013 (yes, Donald Trump made this list).

4. Emergency Puppy: The Twitter account I'm so gratefully following. (You should too.)

5. And my most favourite compilation... 40 of the cutest things that happened in 2012.

xo

Simi

A present worthy of a pause

I can say in all honesty that the firsts have been the toughest. They always are, aren't they? Since June, we've been through the Euro Cup, the Olympics, birthdays, Thanksgiving, Diwali... his favourites. Seasons have changed and life has moved on. And it has only been five months. Well, it will be five months on November 21st. Five months on what would have also been a milestone birthday for him.

Image found on Pinterest.com

In one way, time has been speeding on by. I can't believe it's almost the end of November, with Christmas right around the corner. But in other ways, the days have been dragging. I sometimes feel as though I want time to speed up. Like the faster it goes, the closer and sooner I'll get to what it is I really want. I keep imagining that the fates have this grand plan chalked out for me. Something that will involve more smile than frowns and more reasons to live in the present than to anticipate what the future will bring.

Then, just as I get ahead of myself and what I imagine things will be like a year or a decade from now, life sends me a reminder that I'm not promised anything beyond the present. You'd think after everything this year has swung my way I'd have learned that lesson by now...

Then again, I suppose the reminders are also important. They're flagposts of our own mortality. I feel like we live in an age where life moves so quickly that we're constantly struggling to keep up.

Image found on Pinterest.com

I'm starting to savour the moments when I'm still. I used to be scared of the silence, but now I'm starting to embrace it. I'm grateful for quiet moments that let me reflect.

Many years ago, my mum printed out this image (pictured below) and stuck it to the mirror on her dressing table. Five simple rules for happiness. I remember seeing this printout every so often, but wouldn't really pay attention to it. It keeps springing to mind now, though. She follows these rules every day, and I hope that some day I'll be able to do the same.

Image found on Pinterest.com

xo

Simi

For the light that guides us

"2012 will be the year when big things happen!"

I clearly had high hopes when this year first began.

When I made that statement at the turn of the new year, I was thinking new job, life-altering trip... things along those simple lines. But how does that saying go? Something about the "best laid plans going astray...?"

If my experiences this year have taught me anything, it's to not be surprised if you end up on a different journey in life than you had planned. Because even if you have it all figured out (right down to what outfit you'll wear on the plane as you embark on your great escape), life can shift gears at any moment and send you on a journey you had no intention of ever entertaining. 

The thing about these unexpected journeys, however, -- the ones that shake the very foundation that you exist upon -- is that they hold a mirror to you. They usually set forth a series of events that test you down to your core. They make you rediscover yourself -- your mirth, your courage, your resilience, and what you truly believe in. I can't say there's a real ending to these journeys because I think they're the forever kind. But I can say that the strengths you pick up along the way (because they are strengths) do make the road... less... difficult. And they, perhaps, even help you as you work on your other plans -- once you get back on track, of course. 

Losing my father in June came as a rough blow. I wasn't ready for it. It wasn't part of my plan this year. I know that sounds awful, but because his passing was very unexpected I can say it. I (and members of my family, in their own way) have been on one of these unexpected journeys since May. And I have been tested. From shocking emotions to moods I never even knew existed, it's been a roller coaster. And I'm trying hard to stabilize the flickering lights in my life. 

I mentioned in my last post that over the past few months I've taken comfort in my job and the joy it gives me. However, the moments on my own have been the toughest. I've been forced to acknowledge a reality without my father, and it's heartbreaking. He comes to mind mostly during the holidays -- especially the Indian ones. He enjoyed them the most because they reminded him of his youth, growing up in India. Ganesh Chaturthi and now, Diwali -- the festival of lights. There's no denying a lot of people saw the light that shone brightly through my father. 

For the light that guards and guides us. For the one that will always shine so bright.
{Photography courtesy of StraightFromTheCurls.com}

So tonight, on the eve of Diwali in Toronto, I've lit a lantern as a symbol of hope and peace. I hope that the light will continue to shine and guide me on my journey. I hope that it will bring my loved ones peace. I've also lit it in the hopes that you, my dear reader, will always find reasons to see brightness over the dark, and that you and your loved ones will forever be surrounded by light and love.

Thank you for adding to the light in my life! 

Happy Diwali!

xo

Simi

On loss, life and the things we'll never know

I never imagined how much my life would change after my last blog post. Nor did I realize just how close to home the post on May 19th, (So finite) would hit.

In it, I talked about life having an expiry date. At that time, a series of small events highlighted mortality and sent me a strong reminder that our time on this planet is limited. Little did I realize that the post was almost a premonition of what was to come.

I lost my father on June 21, 2012.

A few days after I wrote that last post, my father was rushed to the hospital and almost a month to that date, he passed away.

Wow. I think it's the first time I've actually written those words. I've opened this blog to write many times since that heartbreaking day, and the words just never formed. But there they are -- real as this computer screen staring back at me.

Yes, death is real and it will eventually touch us all. However, no one can know how or when it will happen. As desperate as we may be to look into the future to try and figure how it will all turn out, the truth is we just won't know what's been designed for us until it happens.

Image courtesy of Pinterest.com

I never imagined that we'd lose him the way we did. For nearly a month we had to live hour by hour while he was in the hospital. On some days we lived minute by minute. Sitting here, just about three months since that day, I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when I knew he was fading. And I can't do it. The entire journey that led to his passing wasn't stable. It wasn't consistent. And we're still struggling with so many unanswered questions. But as I was often told in the days since he passed, 'When it's your time, it's your time.'
(Not comforting words, fyi.)

The three months since has passing have been a blur. I didn't imagine the impact this would have on my family and I. People who've experienced such a tremendous loss in their lives often say that they become numb in the aftermath. I never knew what emotional numbness felt like until this experience.

Everyone deals with grief differently -- denial, anger, inconsolable hysteria, silence. For my part, I've been trying to stay busy. Absorbed in work and holding on to moments where I don't have to be alone with my thoughts. I hang on to anything that lets me ignore my own reality. I'm coasting. Numbness -- I now know what it feels like. My choices probably aren't the healthiest, but it's what I need for now.

I'm not sure what the next few months will have in store for all of us. I keep thinking about how he died exactly five months to the day of his birthday. Appropriate enough, I suppose -- he always enjoyed symmetry. My mum refers to losing him as a void that we're unable to fill. She's right. Life, moving forward, will now be without him.

No matter your relationship, nothing can ever prepare you for the emotional turmoil that stems from losing a parent. But it's part of living, I suppose. And an experience like this certainly shifts perspective, makes you reorganize your priorities and look at life differently.

And now that I've found some words (finally), I hope I'll be able to write more. Share more. Acknowledge what has happened. Look towards the future. And I hope that the fog of the past few months will eventually lift.

**Thank you to all our friends and family who've stepped up and shown us support during these past few months. Thank you for your love, thank you for your strength, and thank you for your wishes of peace. We're lucky to have you all in our lives.**

Till next time,

Simi

Word of the Day: No

This post is a bit of a rant, so proceed at your own risk.

Learning new things is part of evolution. We go from being helpless babies, to learning to standing on our own two feet, to growing into ourselves (or at least, versions of ourselves), to becoming adults with a whole mixed bag of responsibilities. When we allow ourselves to learn about who we are and about the world around us, we inadvertently become better as human beings. At least that's my take on it.

Part of my personal evolution (besides the obvious natural progression), is an effort to train myself in certain aspects. For instance, I had to learn to focus on tasks. When I was younger, I would spend a lot of time taking on various responsibilities, and could only dedicate small amounts of myself to each of them. I would bite off more than I could chew. I didn't think this was very productive, nor was it fair to the tasks I had taken on. As a result, I had to learn to manage time better in order to focus on these tasks. It's not a skill I came wired with. I had to train myself.

Lately, I've been working on something I've struggled with my entire life: Learning to say one simple word more often—No.

I can't tell you the number of times that word has haunted me. It has lived in the bottom of my throat; at the tip of my tongue; I've felt it roll from my brain to my mouth, and I've even breathed it out. Silently. But, for the life of me, I've very rarely been able to let this simple, two-lettered word move past my lips.

And I'm not sure why. More often than not, I let myself get talked into doing things I don't want to do. I end up spending more time focusing on other people's problems instead of my own, and I constantly worry about what people will think, should I choose to say no. And as a result of all this, most people have come to expect me to say 'yes' to things... all the time. Even when I don't feel like it. And I think that's no one's fault but my own.

So I've been making a conscious effort. You know, to say 'no' to things more often? It's been tough, I tell you, but so worth it. At first I was wracked with guilt. And for what? I'm not too sure. Catholic guilt (if it exists), perhaps? I would say no to things, then spend time coming up with explanations as to why I said it. Then I'd feel guilty. Surely "so and so" deserved to know why I wouldn't be her wing woman that Friday night?

But the truth of the matter is that saying no is a right. At least I'm fortunate enough to live in a country where that's the case. I have to remind myself that I can do it. Should do it more often. Shouldn't feel guilty when I do do it.

A confession? I've had to practice saying this word in front of the mirror. And it's worked. Saying this word (more than I used to, anyway), has freed up so much time for my own pursuits. And the sad reality is that it's upset quite a few people. But I wonder — should I care that I've upset people who are OK with me putting them ahead of myself all the time? I don't think so. At least I don't think so anymore.

So yes. If you hear me say no, please don't take it personally. If I do it, I probably mean it. It has taken a lot of effort on my part, and I probably won't change my mind.

Time is precious, and I'm (finally) learning to appreciate mine.

xo

Images courtesy of Google Images

Quest for Better

Another birthday passed by me last last weekend. Each year, this day becomes less significant. This one passed by in an August breeze... But it was different.

This time, to a full moon. To a meteor shower. To a big change at work. To the realization that I'm surrounded by more love and luxuries than I imagined having in my life. That last one is what I need to reflect on today.

I've been so busy focusing on all that's missing, that I've completely lost sight of what's actually here, right within arms reach.

I realize my last couple of posts seemed a bit melancholy, and to be honest, quite depressing. Looking back, and knowing what I know now, I realize things weren't that bad.

But I guess that's just it, right? When you're experiencing a shift in your life, whether good or bad, it seems like the biggest thing at that moment. It's so easy to lose sight of the big picture.

I've always been an optimist. Well, no. My friend, S, might beg to differ, actually. But I think more often than not, I've been more 'glass half full' than 'glass half empty'. Perhaps that's why you all freak out when you stumble across one of my oh-so-tragic posts. (Sorry about that by the way. Yikes!)

So in keeping with the optimism, I should say I'm grateful. I know it's a matter of perspective, but I'm fortunate enough to be one of the 7 billion people on this planet who has access to a lifestyle that most only dream of. I have safety, food, clothing, a job, friends, hobbies... and I have opportunities.

That last one is a biggy. It's a perk. Opportunities arise out of chance and circumstance, and when they present themselves, we should jump all over them. Why take for granted a luxury not known to so many?

So my goal in the coming months is to continue being grateful for all this and more. Every day is an opportunity to do better and to be better. And I want to be better.

Xo
Simi

Step, Pump!

If you're looking for a laugh today.

Have I mentioned how much I love YouTube?

Clearing out the cobwebs

Yep. It's official: I'm definitely not in a good place in my life right now. You know how I know that? I've managed to not put a single word into this blog for over a month. It's the first time this has happened since I first started Straight From The Curls back in 2007.

Thankfully it's the August long weekend, and I've dedicated my time to write. Write for leisure first, and for work second. Ah! I can't tell you how good it feels just now. Just sitting here putting thoughts into words. I can feel myself de-stressing already. Do any of you ever experience that? When you finally find yourself doing something you love for leisure, and you feel all the worries, stress and absolute weight of life just slip away into the shadows? Even if only temporarily? Hmmm...

Since my last post (which was in the middle of June?!?! -- what?!), I've been dealt a couple of unsettling blows by life. But I know as I sit here and write this, that it could be worse. Work has been alright. Some days are better than others... especially because it's a new style of writing, for a new audience, with new demands. But I think I'm working it out. I miss my lifestyle and travel pieces terribly, but I'm continuing to freelance (as much as possible, anyway) for some of the magazines I've worked for, which I'm truly excited about.

I've also been reevaluating my life and the choices I've made to this point. I almost feel like I might have a different purpose... a different calling than what I'm up to these days. I just wish I had more clarity. Perhaps I should put those meditation lessons to some use, huh?

Also, on a side note, I think it's worth mentioning that when I was in Seoul at this time last year, I went to a restaurant where the waitress offered me a cup of Turkish coffee, and then told me she would do a psychic reading. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but as she was doing the reading, she asked me to promise her that I'd go visit my doctor. I just shrugged it off, and went on with my life. I now wish I'd listened to her sooner. Nothing to worry about... just a cautionary tale -- when a psychic makes you pinky promise to go see your doctor, you might want to take that little nugget of information a little more seriously.

In other news, I've also booked a short trip at the end of August to visit a friend in the States. It's really exciting, because it will be exactly a year to the day since we last saw each other. I can't wait! Expect a lot of travel posts from that visit!

Hope all is well with y'all!

xo





Image courtesy of Google Images

Luck be a pain in the...

"The more I think about things, the more I see no rhyme or reason in life. No one knows why some things work out and some things don't. Why some of us are lucky and some of us get..."

The quote featured above is from the movie Notting Hill. Now before you go off and laugh at my choice of reference, let me plead my case. That quote has been resonating in my mind for the past couple of weeks and after the events of this past Friday evening, it couldn't ring any truer.

I feel as though I'm on this ridiculous roll of bad luck... even though it's not a roll of any kind. It just... is. I always imagined - and to a certain extent believed - that we created our own luck; charted our own destiny. But I realize I'm wrong. Sometimes the way things work out really isn't up to you.

A few weeks back I was informed that a couple of positions became available at my previous place of work. A place I thought I could really thrive in. When I was there, I was told on numerous occasions that there would be no chance of me ever getting hired on full-time because of budget cuts and other issues. So I found another job at a company where I absolutely enjoy working right now.

And it's the first time in a long time that I realized there's truth in the saying, "It's all a matter of timing and good luck."

A lot of successful people will freely admit that they achieved their goals and dreams through hard work, determination, and a 'little' bit of luck. I'm realizing quickly that it's not just luck... it's a whole LOT of luck.

Then, while all this was mulling around in my mind, I spent the last week feeding my brain at this wonderful three-day conference in Toronto, where I had the chance to listen to 50 speakers from different walks of life. Including one Mr. Deepak Chopra, who reminded me about the importance of listening to my heart. And about the importance of self-reflection as well. I used to do this all the time when I was in university... but somewhere between searching for a career and figuring out how this whole 'being a grown-up business' works, I got lost. And to be honest, I feel pretty lost at the moment. I feel like I've lost balance, and I want to find my feet again.

And then, just when I thought I couldn't feel any worse about my life getting all tangled up in itself, I ended last week with my wallet being stolen on the subway.

Yep.

So you can imagine that right now, all I really want to do is look up to the heavens in an open field and scream, "Is that all you've got?!"

I'm frustrated. It seems like these days no matter what I do, I'm either too early or too late. I'd like to be where I need to be on time. Just once. I'd like to be able to say, "I'm going to spend Saturday rolling in my bed, watching movies"... and actually mean it, without having to run around trying to sort out the contents of my lost wallet.

I'd like...

And then I force myself to look at the bigger picture. Last week a young girl in Toronto went for a drive to sort our an errand. She made a regulated turn, and ended up killing a child crossing the street. She didn't plan for that to happen. It just happened. And now her life, and the lives of the families involved, will never be the same again.

The other day a man went out to watch game 7 of the Stanely Cup finals in Vancouver. The Canucks lost, and he ended up in a post-game riot. During this time, he tried protecting a car about to be torched, and ended up getting beaten up by the rioters. I bet he didn't see that coming when he left the house earlier in the day.

So you see where I'm going with this? I'm really starting to believe there's no real formula to this whole luck thing -- it just happens. Que sera sera. What will be will be. We can only do our best, and continue to have dreams, and make attempts at having them come true. But this business of who gets the sprinkles of fairy dust, and who doesn't... that part isn't really up to us.

Who decides...

... How two people can be born into the same family, and achieve different financial outcomes as adults?

... Whether you'll succumb to a disease, just because the genes that blended when your parents had you, are actually warring against each other in your body?

... That out of two plants planted in the same soil, mere inches apart, one will survive, and one will fail to grow?

... That even though you may dream of your future in one way... there might be a diffirent plan for you, that's out of your control?

... That no matter how cautiously you lead your life, you too can be caught in a freak accident?

So... who decides? Definitely not us.

I'm really trying to continue with my regular optimism. But some days, because of this whole 'being human' factor, it's pretty darn difficult. I'm struggling to embrace my mother's ability to have faith in fate. I don't want to become one of those people who looks back on her life and thinks, "I really wish I had... when I could..."

I'm really trying...

And as always, even though I'm a terrible Catholic, I'm going to turn to something here that my grade eight teacher always told me to say when I felt unsettled:

God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...
The courage to change the things I can...
And the wisdom to know the difference...

xo

Image courtesy of Google Images

The ripple effect

I've spent more consecutive days in heels over the past week than have in the last couple of years. Work related stuff. But as you can imagine, the poor gams were on fire by week's end. So yesterday I decided to fill up the bathtub and soaked them in salt water. Therapy! Oh, I can't tell you how good it felt to just sit there and let the hot water massage my poor nerves.

I've had a lot on my mind these past few days... work stuff, life stuff... the usual stuff. I guess I was deep in my own thoughts when I realized I was staring at the tap dripping water into the full tub. One drop at a time, spaced out over a few seconds. I was mesmerized how that one drop of water caused such ripple effect. Just one drop would send tiny waves through the tub, which was otherwise still.

It made me realize how one tiny event or shift in our lives can leave such an enormous impact. Whether it's meeting one person, or experiencing one moment... little things can shift our lives from the mundane to the colourful (or chaotic) within seconds.

There's truth to the ripple effect, and I suppose I don't need to convince you of that. I'm just amazed, that's all. Because sometimes I sit back and look at my life the way it was a few months ago... a year back... a decade earlier... and I think of all the events that have led to me to where I am. Decisions that I or someone else made, and moments that quietly shifted the course of my entire life. It's profound when you think about it, really.

I don't know. Maybe I just need to sleep. And soak these toes-ies again.

Happy Weekend!

Image courtesy of Google Images

Set fire to the rain

Ever encounter a musician who feeds and ignites even the most wounded parts of your soul? Here's Adele. I love her. Her lyrics are awesome and they resonate. Such a raw and wonderful singer/writer.

Sweet Silence

I've really been looking forward to this long weekend. For those of you not in Canada, we celebrate Victoria Day this weekend and have the Monday off. It's quite likely most Canadians wouldn't be able to tell you what this holiday entails (from a national perspective, anyway), but they will tell you that it's celebrated by trips to the cottage, catching up on sleep, and if we're lucky, three glorious days of patio weather.

The weekend has been quite busy for me -- until now. And this very moment is exactly what I've been looking forward to for quite some time. I'm alone with my thoughts, Adele is playing in the background, I have a cup of tea by my side, and the sun is still shinning outside. I'm quite content.

It seems as though moments like these are hard to come by now days. And I crave them with all my senses. I'd say life, for the most part, is not only chaotic -- it's noisy! From the buzzing of mobile devices, to the news on TV, to the constant whir of cars outside, to the random homeless person screaming on the corner of the street... sometimes I just wish I could put life on mute.

But then I wonder. Because I can't get enough of other sounds... waves kissing the shore, jazz music floating in from the distance, babies laughing, wind rustling through the trees... I could hear all of these things together and still smile.

The city has always been my home, regardless of which country I've lived in. Even when I applied for a job in Korea and asked to be located by the seaside, I was placed in Seoul -- a landlocked and dense city, where the word 'silence' does not exist. And yet I can never get used to these sounds. Sometimes they overwhelm me so much, I just want to crawl into my bed and hide under the blankets in an effort to drown them out.

Silence is important. We all have to embrace it and learn to love it. Silence helps us reset. It makes our mental chaos start to organize itself and makes otherwise large tasks seem doable. If we're overwhelmed, a few moments of silence can provide perspective. And these days I feel like I need a lot of that -- perspective.

When you keep going on and on for so long, it becomes easy to forget about yourself. And I think that's one of the worst things that can happen. I'm learning quickly that as we get older, life doesn't get easier, and it certainly doesn't get any less confusing. But the one thing that needs to remain consistent (no matter how difficult it can be) is our relationship with ourselves. Because if we lose focus of that... well that's when the real trouble begins.

So here's me embracing silence and being so grateful for the quiet moments in my life. I may have been left behind in this weekend's rapture, but it's moments like these that make me quite happy to be exactly where I am.

I hope you don't fight the quiet moments in your life. Do what you love at that time. Find your silence and make it count. Do things for yourself, and watch how quickly you'll find your happy. 

xo

Image courtesy of Google Images

I'm feeling...

A bunch of random and rather big things have happened internationally since my last post:

- England's Prince William married Kate Middleton in a lavish ceremony on April 29th.

- Donald Trump got trampled on by President Obama at the White House Correspondent's Dinner on April 30th.

- Osama bin Laden was killed by American SEALS on May 1st.

- Canadians literally handed Prime Minister Stephen Harper his conservative majority government on May 2nd.

This is a lot to digest.

There's way too much going on in the world right now. And while I have many thoughts just floating through my mind, currently, I simply feel like this:

And I'm hoping to do a bit of this over the weekend, to get inspired again:

So please bear with me, and I promise I'll have some awesome nuggets for you in a few days!

xo

Images courtesy of Tumblr

Spring blooms and wishes

Happy Easter, everyone! Here's wishing you all the best and brightest of this beautiful season of rebirth and renewed hope.

xo

Learning to balance

I can't believe I've only written one other blog post this month. I was doing so well! One of the hardest parts of adjusting to the new job has been balancing work and my life in general. I know it sounds cliché, but it's quite difficult to find a work/life balance when you start a new gig. And if you don't figure it out quickly, you'll find yourself in an unhealthy pattern of stress.

This isn't the first time I've had a full-time job, but it's the first time I've been delegated this much responsibility. I love it, but I need to learn to allow myself some down time as well. One of my favourite things to do in my down time is update this blog. Straight From The Curls is my baby, and I love coming here and sharing little anecdotes and stories from my life with you.

But because I spend my whole day on the computer dealing with another aspect of the WWW, I come home and crash. I have thoughts of coming here and talking to you all about what's running through my mind, but by the time I get home and unwind, all I want to do is hit the hay.

This has to change. And it will. I promise to sort myself out and figure out a balance somehow, so that I can do the things I love more often.

I've often wondered though, about people who do the 9-5, commute across the city, and still have the time and energy to come home and do so much more. By the time I come home, I barely have enough time to cook dinner before it's lights out.

I did some research this morning and discovered an article in the Vancouver Sun addressing this very issue. The work-life crunch: Who has time for fun? highlights how many people are struggling with the 'time economy'... especially as technology keeps us wired in for more and more hours each day.

I know in my case, I'm always online. I've been working with the Internet for quite a few years now, and I'm always tuned in to what's happening. I love the work I do.

But being so wired in all the time... it can get scary. I never get the sense that I'm 'unavailable'. I'm literally just a click away, whether by a phone call, text, e-mail, tweet or... poke.

Some of the statistics mentioned in the article state:

• The proportion of Canadians experiencing high levels of time crunch, according to the report, grew from 16 per cent in 1992 to 20 per cent in 2005. About 23 per cent of women felt time-pressured and 17 per cent of men.
  
  
• Adults providing care to seniors grew from 17 per cent in 1996 to 20 per cent in 2006. More women (23 per cent) took care of seniors compared to men (16 per cent).
  
  
• Time spent on social leisure activities dropped from 15 per cent in 1998 to 12 per cent in 2005.

I don't know if you'd agree with me, but I think these are some drastic increases in a short amount of time. So it begs the question: Am I really bad at balancing my work/life or am I just a victim of the times, and hence, a statistic?

I don't want to be a statistic, that's for sure. So my goal in the coming weeks is to find a solution that works for me. I'm not quite sure what that solution is at the moment, but I'm sure I'll figure it out. Plus it helps that the weather is getting nicer outside... it means I won't want to rush directly home after work. 

Anyway, if you have some tips to help me better manage my work/life situation, I'd love to hear them. What works for you, and how do you find time to do the things you love, outside of work?

xo

Image courtesy of Google Images

Wasted words

Sorry for the silence. I've been up to my eyeballs adjusting to the new job, which is going well so far (thankfully!). But something heavy has been weighing on my mind lately, and I figured it's time to let it out.

First off, let me start by saying this post isn't reflective of one person in particular, but rather of observations I've made over the past few months.

There are moments when I genuinely feel I should start charging people for the hours upon hours I spend listening to how stressful their lives are.

Now, here's the thing: I don't mind it. Truly, I don't mind lending an ear to people when they want to get something off their chest, or decompress their thoughts. Sometimes, when something has been floating around in your mind for so long, it loses value until you speak it out loud. Everyone deserves to be heard, and I've always been a better listener than a speaker. So generally, I don't mind it.

But what bothers me is this: People seem to walk around with this idea that they're the only ones (on a planet of close to 7 billion people) who are suffering from the problems they're encountering.

They're not complaining about unemployment, they're not complaining about sickness, they're not complaining about abuse, they're not complaining about malnutrition, they're not complaining about death.

They complain about things they shouldn't be complaining about. Silly, trivial stuff.

And then they ask for advice. Someone once told me never to give out advice for free, because chances are it will fall on deaf ears, and you'll find yourself repeating it a thousand times over. I didn't really believe them at the time...  but sure do now.

It seems to me that when people ask for advice, they only want to hear one thing -- confirmation that what they're doing, feeling, experiencing and considering is right. And if you tell them it's wrong, I think they block it out. They choose to intentionally not hear it. So you're left with wasted words... words that you'll find yourself repeating again the next time they come knocking for advice. And  the next time after that.

People, if you're able to kick back and read this blog, your life can't be that bad.

Sometimes I just want to scream when I hear the complaints. I often tell people to stop measuring their lives with someone else's yardstick. We need to stop looking at what we don't have in comparison to others, and start being grateful for what we do have. Not everyone in the world is so fortunate.

Have you read the newspapers lately? Have you watched the news? You should.

We are all dealt a different deck of cards. No one knows if someone else's life is better. What you see on the outside might very well be a show.

I'll admit, I'm guilty of complaining too. I mean, it's human nature to wonder if your life is as good as it should be. I often wonder if my life will change. If perhaps just one of the dreams I had as a child will come true. Who doesn't?

But it's the people who do it day after day.... come on! Take a step outside of yourself, and have a look around. You'll see that things aren't half as bad as you imagine them to be.

Look, all I ask is that you sit back and look at the positives in your life. You'll realize how blessed you are in comparison to a lot of people on this planet. You may not have what your neighbour has, and you may certainly not have what your best friend has.

But you do have. And you should be grateful for that.

We can only control so much in our lives. A lot of what happens to us is a result of external factors. When things get bad, you just have to keep looking forward, and remain hopeful. We're human... and are hopeful by nature.

So try to wade your way through the bad muck, and hold on to the good. It's all anyone can do.

And when all else fails, remember these wise words...

'Everything's gonna be alright.' - Bob Marley
(Sage advice from one of the most hopeful men in history.)

xo

Image courtesy of Google Images

Things I learned in March

Well, it's the end of a very long month, and I'm exhausted. Drained. Could sleep for days. But before calling it a wrap for March, I feel the need to list 10 things I learned this month. So here we go.

1. I miss chocolate. I can't wait till the Easter bunny gets here.

2. A lot can happen in 31 days. The 1st of March looks very different from this angle. I need to remember this the next time I feel impatient.

3. I need to squeeze in some more Zzz's at night. Really. I can no longer spend every night with Conan.

4. Hashtags and Twitter are not the enemy. #TweetAsIfYourLifeDependsOnIt

5. After recently entering back into the PC world, I realize how much I love Macs. I wish PCs would have an 'all windows' function. #LifeWouldBeSoMuchEasier

6. Did I mention I miss chocolate?

7. I need to switch from coffee to herbal tea. It's my fuel but... #NoOneLikesTheShakes

8. Laughs come easily during reruns of How I Met Your Mother.

9. I'm over winter. #SeriouslyOverIt

10. I miss being able to wear my hair curly. Why won't it grow?!

Bonus thought: I miss life in analog.

Hey, remember Clip-art? It's been a while.

xo

Image courtesy of Google Images