Thursday, 2 July 2009

And when I get that feeling...'s called Textual Seething.

It’s official. We’re now living in a world where ‘texty’ words like ur, dat, l8er, cya, ttyl and omg are starting to replace those from the Oxford English Dictionary.

I remember a student in one of my university English classes who received an automatic fail for (possibly subconsciously) inserting the word ‘ur’ instead of ‘you are’ into an essay.

An honest mistake? Probably.

Truly, I don’t quite understand how people do it. How do people carry on relationships that are created on a foundation of text messages, MSN conversations and Facebook wall posts?

I’m writing this post after a lot of thought and a lot of examples that have surfaced in my life lately.

Take for example a friend I met up with a few days back. She’s seeing someone who she really likes and said that they ‘text’ a lot. This results in her reading into the texts too much, looking for hidden messages in the words being transmitted on her little screen.

“Guys don’t put a lot of thought into these things,” I said. “They just respond with whatever.”

“No way!” she exclaimed. “He admitted that he really thinks about it a lot before he sends a text out. That’s why it takes him so long to get back to me.”


You’re telling me that he thought long and hard before he sent you a message that consisted of a bunch of letters and numbers blended together, aimed at reaching your heart? And now you’re supposed to spend the next few hours trying to decipher the message in code, only to respond back with your own coded message?


Another friend who swore she’d never learn how to use a number pad on a phone to spell words out, spent the past few months scrolling through archived text messages as evidence of how her ex led her on.

“It started off nicely you know?” she said. “He’d text me cute little notes throughout the day and I’d respond back… and then, one day, the texts began to get shorter and shorter till there was nothing left. Then he disappeared."

I’m sure he didn’t disappear. He lost interest.

The funny part about that relationship is in the two months of them dating, they met face-to-face about four times.

A guy who texts you an average of eight times a day, telling you he misses you and can’t wait to see you, only makes an effort to see you four times in 2 months.

These are the days of textual relationships. Times when people rely so heavily on screened conversations, that when they find themselves face-to-face with others, they're at a loss for words.

According to Urban Dictionary Online, a textual relationship is one “with someone through texting, but never talking, meeting or interacting with them in real-life. - Someone you text alot, but would never/rarely talk to in person.”

Lovely, isn’t it?

I've heard of people being so confident through texts (someone still needs to explain to me what a 'confident text' is), but that when meeting in person, they have an altered personality.

Hmm... maaaaaaybe it's because said person doesn't know how to socialize because he/she spends so much time in front of screens! Just a thought.

I admit it. I indulge in text messaging as well. But here are some of the times or situations in which I would text:

- Running Late
- Reminder
- If it’s too late to call someone and you really need to ask them something
- A random message to your so and so, reminding them of your tête-à-tête from the night before…. or warning them of things to come (admittedly this one would be a ton of fun!)

I've actually stopped communications with some people because I couldn't keep up with their daily stream of texts. One said person took it personally when I didn't respond to his 20 texts per day.

Again, nothing personal -- I guess I'm just not texty enough for ya!

If it’s a special occasion, you’re better off sending them an e-card, calling them or writing a letter. THAT shows you care… Sorry folks, but I’ve never appreciated a “Birthday Text” or a "Congrats Text."

We make an effort to get to a computer and check our e-mail an average of three times a day… a simple note to your friend with actual words will go a long way in these times of html and "write your message in 140 characters or less."

And, dear Mister, call me old-fashioned, but I refuse to have textual relations with you.


Note: These cartoons were found through Google Images. Credit to the artists.


  1. simi...i love it!! oh man, do I know what your talking about. well written my dear, hopefully boys will pick up on your message! lol

  2. this article is a beauty! i love it! face to face interaction was soo 2006. we live in a world where you meet significant others through online dating more than meeting people the old fashion way, so why shouldn't we just tweet and txt our relationships??

  3. it's SO true. and I just used the phrase BRB yesterday..and realized I use it alot. Yikes! Textual relationships are deadly.

  4. Very nice! This is exactly why I don't have unlimited texting on my phone. If it's quick question, just call me. It's a lot easier on my thumb.


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