Say Anthing...

Under a full moon night, a girlfriend and I watched this timeless 80s classic starring John Cusack. The movie showed at Toronto's Harbourfront (on the Sirius stage) to an audience made up mostly of girlfriends and spaced out couples.

What can we say about Lloyd Dobler?

He's every guy next door: the perfect blend of klutz, wreck, lovable geek, secret ninja and swooning romantic in one simply wrapped package.

And as we watched him, we swooned too.


I wonder about the guy from NOW magazine who introduced the movie. He was talking on stage, and towards the end of his shpeel he spoke to the men and women in the audience. To the men he said, "Guys, face it, we will never match up to Lloyd Dobler." And to the women he said, "Ladies, don't expect us to match up to Lloyd Dobler... because he's NOT REAL."

So? Truly guys, I think aspiring to emulate this fictitious character is possibly one of the easiest tasks you can take on in your life. It may be a daunting thought, but think about it - you really only need to do three things:

1. Keep it simple and speak the truth
No fancy stuff. Diane Court called Lloyd Dobler basic... and meant it as a compliment. I think being basic is a compliment... it means you're able to present yourself in the rawst sense... a sort of... "this is me, take it or leave it" kind of deal.

2. Maintain a sense of optimism
Lay it out there without fear of ramifications. Believe in true romance. Take risks and keep your toes and fingers crossed that it will all work out. If it doesn't, you leave knowing you at least tried and went after what you wanted.

3. Communicate
Use your words. Don't think for 30 minutes about what you're going to say over the course of 30 seconds. Give it a bit of thought and just speak! Let what's in your head and heart out. You'll be amazed at how much clearer things become.

No wonder this character not only became a movie icon, but also the secret desire for women from almost every walk of life. There's even a band out there called the Lloyd Dobler Effect.

Sometimes when we think we want glamour, what we're really asking for is... basic.

xo
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And when I get that feeling...

...it's called Textual Seething.
Textual
Seeee-heee-thing!

It’s official. We’re now living in a world where ‘texty’ words like ur, dat, l8er, cya, ttyl and omg are starting to replace those from the Oxford English Dictionary.

I remember a student in one of my university English classes who received an automatic fail for (possibly subconsciously) inserting the word ‘ur’ instead of ‘you are’ into an essay.

An honest mistake? Probably.

Truly, I don’t quite understand how people do it. How do people carry on relationships that are created on a foundation of text messages, MSN conversations and Facebook wall posts?

I’m writing this post after a lot of thought and a lot of examples that have surfaced in my life lately.

Take for example a friend I met up with a few days back. She’s seeing someone who she really likes and said that they ‘text’ a lot. This results in her reading into the texts too much, looking for hidden messages in the words being transmitted on her little screen.

“Guys don’t put a lot of thought into these things,” I said. “They just respond with whatever.”

“No way!” she exclaimed. “He admitted that he really thinks about it a lot before he sends a text out. That’s why it takes him so long to get back to me.”

Really?

You’re telling me that he thought long and hard before he sent you a message that consisted of a bunch of letters and numbers blended together, aimed at reaching your heart? And now you’re supposed to spend the next few hours trying to decipher the message in code, only to respond back with your own coded message?

Really.

Another friend who swore she’d never learn how to use a number pad on a phone to spell words out, spent the past few months scrolling through archived text messages as evidence of how her ex led her on.

“It started off nicely you know?” she said. “He’d text me cute little notes throughout the day and I’d respond back… and then, one day, the texts began to get shorter and shorter till there was nothing left. Then he disappeared."

I’m sure he didn’t disappear. He lost interest.

The funny part about that relationship is in the two months of them dating, they met face-to-face about four times.

A guy who texts you an average of eight times a day, telling you he misses you and can’t wait to see you, only makes an effort to see you four times in 2 months.

These are the days of textual relationships. Times when people rely so heavily on screened conversations, that when they find themselves face-to-face with others, they're at a loss for words.

According to Urban Dictionary Online, a textual relationship is one “with someone through texting, but never talking, meeting or interacting with them in real-life. - Someone you text alot, but would never/rarely talk to in person.”

Lovely, isn’t it?

I've heard of people being so confident through texts (someone still needs to explain to me what a 'confident text' is), but that when meeting in person, they have an altered personality.

Hmm... maaaaaaybe it's because said person doesn't know how to socialize because he/she spends so much time in front of screens! Just a thought.

I admit it. I indulge in text messaging as well. But here are some of the times or situations in which I would text:

- Running Late
- Reminder
- If it’s too late to call someone and you really need to ask them something
- A random message to your so and so, reminding them of your tête-à-tête from the night before…. or warning them of things to come (admittedly this one would be a ton of fun!)

I've actually stopped communications with some people because I couldn't keep up with their daily stream of texts. One said person took it personally when I didn't respond to his 20 texts per day.

Again, nothing personal -- I guess I'm just not texty enough for ya!

If it’s a special occasion, you’re better off sending them an e-card, calling them or writing a letter. THAT shows you care… Sorry folks, but I’ve never appreciated a “Birthday Text” or a "Congrats Text."

We make an effort to get to a computer and check our e-mail an average of three times a day… a simple note to your friend with actual words will go a long way in these times of html and "write your message in 140 characters or less."

And, dear Mister, call me old-fashioned, but I refuse to have textual relations with you.

xo
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Note: These cartoons were found through Google Images. Credit to the artists.

Rush of blood during rush-hour

I was furious. I couldn't believe that these grown men in suits and slacks were actually behaving like cavemen. I mean, isn't that supposed to be some sort of cliche? Men, acting like cavemen?

But here they were, at 2 seperate subway stops -- showcasing the manners of apes.

I was heading downtown for work today, which meant that I had to battle the daily rush-hour in the morning. I didn't mind this and didn't give it another thought, after having experienced the routine daily over the past summer. However, as I boarded the train, I was ambushed from the side by this fedora-wearing-forty-something who felt the need to elbow me in the ribs in his rush to get on, even though the train was clearly not going anywhere.

I chalked this up to my imagination, even though the sting in my side clearly assured me that that had actually happened.

Then, as I stood in my spot, coffee mug in one hand while the other balanced the files I needed to take back to the office, Mr. Fedora decided that he wanted to occupy the seat that became vacant right in front of me.

Literally, as the lady vacated her seat, Mr. Fedora came running in from about five feet away, and squeezed himself between my foot and the seat. "Really?" I thought to myself. "This guy cannot be serious."

It became apparent to me very fast that he knew what he was doing and in some respect, he knew how shady it was of him as well. He couldn't look at me for the rest of the ride.

I let this go as well and continued on, while trying my best to not shoot daggers through his fedora with my dirty looks.

About three stops later, another man boarded the train. This one was clearly a student, as he toted a backpack and a venti-denti-moccha-skinny-beluga-latte. Classic. Apparently originality is dead as well. After standing for a stop, a seat a few people away from him became vacant. Three people stood around him. Another suit and tie shmuck, a pregnant lady and myself.... you can clearly see where this is going. Did Backpack Joe step aside and offer the seat to the pregnant lady? Did he offer it to me? After making eye-contact with me, he swaggered over to the seat and continued to look at the floor. He proceeded to stare at the floor all the way to Yonge&Bloor.

Honestly, this was something right out of a Seinfeld episode. I remember that the pregnant lady looked at me and we shared a knowing "Chivalry.is.officially.dead" smirk.

Ok, maybe I should back track. Lets just say that in the 21st century, there's no room for cavemen and there's certainly even less room for gallant knights, (come on, ladies... you really don't want a man in steel armour reciting sonnets to you on a daily basis, do you?) But, is common kindness and consideration lost in our society as well?

A couple of stops after BackPack Joe took his seat, an elderly LADY who had witnessed the entire thing, got up and asked the pregnant lady to sit down -- and she graciously accepted. It was an obvious struggle to stand.

I got off at my stop clearly fumed. I was furious. What's wrong with our society when these bursts of common sense no longer even fly through one's mind?

It's times like these when I am thankful for StraightFromTheCurls. I find happiness in knowing that there is, even perhaps in the smallest sense, a chance that I am drawing negative attention to these individuals in Cyberspace. Maybe, just maybe, they might come across StraightFromTheCurls and realize how royally they've pissed me off. Maybe they'll do right next time.

Maybe.

xo
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