A toad by any other name

I've been meaning to share this story with you all for quite some time now, but my biggest fan and number one critic (Mama C) didn't know about it, and I was afraid to tell her. But thanks to my lovely sibling, she's been enlightened, and now I'm free to share it with all of you.

So, here we go!

The back story.

A few weeks after moving back to Toronto from Seoul, I decided I needed to get out of my slump and meet new people. You might have read about my feelings upon moving back (if not, check out A year in a dream), but suffice to say, I felt left behind while all my friends had moved on in their respective lives, careers, romances, etc. So I thought the most logical thing to do at that time was to try online dating. It seemed easy enough -- you log in, create a profile, upload a photo, and consider your options.

A few friends were lucky enough to meet their significant others online, so I thought this was a good sign. Mind you, the sites they joined ranged from the popular ones you could join for free (my first big mistake in this endeavour), to the more complicated ones that involved filling out a questionnaire about 10 pages long.

So one Wednesday afternoon, after waking up confused about the date and time again, (an awful reaction to jet-lag), I joined the online dating world. I won't plug the website here, but I'll say this -- for a site that says they have a lot of fish, it sure doesn't have a variety. I think this is one of those cases where quality over quantity DOES matter.

I dove straight in.

I filled out the basic profile information -- age, sex, location, physical attributes, what I was looking for, interests. They seemed like basic enough questions that would matter when searching for a suitable partner online. Then came the other questions that set off a red flag in my mind, but which I filled out anyway -- race, body type, religion, political views...

Those of you who know me will agree that I'm more of a mind over matter kind of person. Sure, I like a great smile and broad shoulders just a much as the next person, but given the choice, I'll take a witty conversation, a sense of humour and intellectual stimulation over dead air, fancy dinners and kisses any day. (Yep, you read that right).

The usual suspects.

Within minutes of uploading my profile, I was inundated with messages. OK, that sounds a little pompous, but bear with me. I realized very quickly that women on online dating sites bear the brunt when it comes to filthy, bizarre and borderline creepy messages. They ranged from one liners about my race, to questions about my personal habits. Mind you, this was without an introduction. An even more creepy aspect was the age range of the guys sending these messages -- anywhere between 19 to 65. Just about any guy with a pulse and a libido, eh?

Within a few days I learned to filter the messages. I set up a criteria for myself and ruled out any messages that were one liners composed in broken English, (I will not date someone who doesn't know the difference between your and you're, to and two. We learn the difference between these words in grade 3, and the invention of spell-check does not give you an excuse to slack off on that matter. Phew! Sorry. Obviously a touchy subject.), or contained any reference to my race or religion from the get go.

I've never considered race or religion to be factors in my dating pursuits, and I know that I'd expect the same from anyone I was with. I hoped that with the turn of the century and with globalization these wouldn't be factors for anyone. I would never want to be with someone who only wanted to date me because I was X race or X religion. That would be a recipe for disaster from the gamut.

Along came J*

A few weeks and many disappointments later, I found myself weaning off the idea of online dating. I started to realize I preferred meeting people in real life. I mean, not that this wasn't real life, but this idea of quantity over quality was killing me. And I was becoming more jaded with each new message received with the title, "Yo baby! Ssup?!" I decided to give myself a chance for a couple more weeks, before deleting my profile from this pool of fish all together.

One night I received the following message in my inbox.

Subject: Dear Pretty Lady
Message: I am a PhD graduate from ******, where I specialized in ****** research. I am also an Indian Catholic just like you, and you know how rare we are in Canada. I am kinda bored this evening. Would you like to chat? :)
- J

I didn't reply back to him because I was turned off by the idea that he found my profile by typing 'Indian' and 'Catholic' into his search box. If these were important factors to him, then I knew we wouldn't get along. I figured not responding to him would mean I wasn't interested. This had worked in the past with messages from other guys, and I also figured it was the universal way of telling people you weren't interested in them (at least in this strange world of online dating).

Five minutes later, I received the following message.

Message: How come all the Pretty Indian Catholic girls are in Toronto, and I am stuck here in Vancouver? It's not fair. :)

Again, he emphasized the whole Indian Catholic thing. Now I knew for sure we wouldn't gel. But at this point I was also quite irritated and felt inclined to respond back with something snarky and mean. Instead, all I could come up with was this:

Message: I'm sure there's tons in Vancouver. Maybe you're not looking in the right places.

I guess he took this as a good sign (and now, I see how he could have), because I found an instant message pop up from him (the site had instant messaging?!). We talked for maybe five minutes. He asked me a bunch of questions about myself, and I tried to remain as short and civil to him as possible. I excused myself and told him I had to go offline, and said goodbye. It ended with him asking me to send him my contact information.... which, of course, I didn't.

The following morning, I received this message.

Subject: Dear Pretty S
Message: I enjoyed chatting with you this evening, and I am happy that you are a Goan. If you are interested, you can read about some of my best scientific research available from the ****** website. Anyway, I was planning to go to Hawaii in November, but it is hard to find a nice Indian Catholic girl to accompany me. So I was thinking if you would like to take a couple weeks off in November, perhaps you could visit me in Vancouver for a few days and then we could go from here. If you book your flight to and from Vancouver, I will pay for our trip to Hawaii. We would have a great time. When you are in Vancouver, I could teach you how to ski, and then when we get to Hawaii, I could teach you how to surf. :) I haven't really dated that much, but I am looking for a long term relationship with a lady that I could potentially marry someday. Please let me know if you are interested?
Best Regards,
- J (He also included his e-mail address and phone number in the message.)

This wasn't really happening, was it? ANOTHER emphasis on the whole Indian Catholic thing? Should I have told him that I barely made it to Sunday mass every week? Should I have indicated in my profile somewhere that being Indian doesn't define who I am and what I do on a daily basis? And to top that off... a free trip to Hawaii, ONLY IF I came on my own to visit him in Vancouver first? After a five minute chat?! This couldn't be real.

So I made a mental note to remove my race and religion from future online dating profiles (yet to happen). And even if he found me based on those factors, I would assume one look at what I wrote on my profile would drive him away, screaming, in the opposite direction -- we seemed like complete opposites as far as our priorities in life were concerned. So I ignored this message as well, figuring that not responding to a trip to Hawaii would drive home the point that I wasn't interested.

Then, a few days later, I received this message.

Subject: S, I like your eyes...
Message: ...because they are almost as narrow as mine. It was once said that evil spirits enter into wider eyes. So at least we don't have to worry about that. :)
- J

At this point, I was starting to get amused. I shared these messages with a friend of mine, who said, "You know, in all the time I've known you, I've never looked into your eyes and thought, 'Gee, S has really narrow eyes!'"

My own mum went into shock when she read this message recently. "For a scientist he sure does believe in old-wives tales a lot, huh?" she said.

As you can imagine, I still didn't respond back. But I also didn't think he was worthy of being blocked. After all, it wasn't too bad yet... right?

A few days later...

Subject: S, your eyes remind me...
Message: ...of the beauty of a tranquil Vancouver sunset gently glistening over the peaceful pacific blue.
- J :)

OK, this was nice. But if this hadn't been preceded by the string of bizarre and kind of creepy messages, I would have been flattered. I know by this point you're thinking, "Why haven't you responded to him yet?!" Or, "You're leading him on..." (How so?)

Here's the thing... I can't bring myself to tell someone, flat out, that I'm not interested in them. And I know a lot of you share my fear. I've had people do it to me in the past, and I know you, dear reader, have either had it happen to you, or have done it to someone else. I don't condone this, but I do think it's a better tactic than leading someone on with false hope. (Don't you think that's far worse?)

Wouldn't you figure that if someone hasn't responded to your handful of messages by now, that they weren't interested? Wouldn't you think that someone with a PhD would put the pieces together somehow?

No.

A few days later...

Subject: Dear Pretty S,
Message: I think you should get to know me. I don't drink alcohol or coffee because I don't take drugs and caffeine is a drug. If I get bored or depressed, I just run for miles and miles on the downtown Vancouver seawall. I am a (Ivy League)-educated scientist with a background in ******, ******, ******, and ******. To be honest, I am actually looking for a long term relationship with a lady I can marry someday. Although I am 35, I have better strength and stamina than most 25 year olds, and I have a healthy 102-year old Grandfather, so I am really only one third through my life.

If we are compatible, I am sure I can provide you with a wonderful and happy life in Vancouver, and it is only a five hour plane ride away from your family in Toronto which you can visit anytime. I believe that we could bring much happiness to each other's lives and to the lives of our families. Perhaps we could chat on skype video sometime?

Best Regards,
- J

Where do I begin...?!
1. I love how he assumed that if we got together I'd drop everything and move to Vancouver to live with him. Talk about an antiquated manner of thinking.
2. He's assuming he's a third though his life -- he could get hit by a bus tomorrow and be 100 per cent through his life (morbid, I know, but it's the truth).
3. If he thinks coffee is a drug, then that fact alone would set us miles apart. I love my cuppa java in the morning, and a nice cuppa tea in the evening. And sometimes, I like a glass of Merlot. And on hot days, I'll indulge in a margarita or two. I guess that makes me (and 99.9 per cent of the planet) a drug addict.

A few HOURS later, I received this.

Subject: S, I am not that good at mind reading.
Message: Also, I never really understood the concept of taking a hint? :) Please let me know what you thought about my previous messages because I would like to get to know you better. Thanks S.
- J

And finally, the last straw.

Message: Dear S, I once wanted to be a journalist, but I let it pass me by in favour of science. In journalism, we look for the crisis around us. In science, we cherish the universe that surrounds us. That is why I became a scientist.
- J

And with that, I blocked him, deleted my profile from the pool of fish, and vowed never to take online dating seriously again. It may work for a lot of people out there, but it clearly isn't for me right now.

I couldn't believe this guy. He insulted me for being in journalism... but the saving grace was AT LEAST I was a Goan.

Really? Is this what's left to deal with?

Dear readers, I would LOVE it more than anything if you shared some of your stories with me. Am I alone in my experiences? Do you have a funny or horrifying online dating story worth sharing?

Please join in the discussion on the blog's Facebook group or comment on this post. I can't possibly be alone in my experiences... can I?

xo




Image courtesy of Google Images
*Name has been changed for the sake of discretion.

A bite of Montréal love

I've always been fascinated with Montréal, QC. I am still trying to figure out if it's the special blend of postcolonial ambiance and character, or if it's the simple fact that it's so accessible that enhances my love for it. Regardless, I think it goes without saying that I could easily become quite comfortable here. Especially within the downtown core.

Downtown Montréal is nothing like downtown Toronto. The only way to describe the layout of this lovely core is to say it's stacked. Every street that runs parallel to Rue Sherbrooke going south, contains unique gems and are of equal importance. From the relaxing cafés along Boulevard de Maisonneuve to the bustling shopping hub that is Rue Sainte Catherine, there's just so much you can see and do -- and quite comfortably, without the fear of getting lost.

My past trips to Montréal weren't as filled with discovery as this one has been. On my first day here, I joined a friend in a long walk through the city. We started off at the Eaton Centre (yes, Toronto - Montréal has one too), and found ourselves walking all the way down to the Old Port. If you look at a map of the city, the thought of walking all that way might seem quite daunting, but it was actually rather lovely (and easy). The streets are well marked and navigating is a piece of cake as long as you know how to read.

I think I should mention here that my favourite hub is the historic district of Old Montréal. I've visited the Notre Dame Basilica each time I've been here, and can get lost in the beauties found along the cobblestone streets for hours. Really though, how can anyone hate cobblestone? I'll be writing more about Old Port and this historic district in another post, so please stay tuned.

But in the meanwhile, no trip to Montréal is complete without two essential meals -- nothing fancy, just the basic (and pretty legendary) Montréal smoked meat sandwich... and, of course, poutine.

My friend and I stopped by Montréal Poutine on Rue Saint-Paul for a delicious smoked meat sandwich, after our long walk through the city. This small yet delicious treat set the bar for future smoked meat sandwiches, that's for sure. It was quite filling and so tasty, that I craved it again for dinner that night. I wish I'd tried the poutine there, but since it never happened, another visit is definitely in the cards. I've heard nothing but good things about it.

The next day, my friend took me to La Belle Province -- a fast food chain within the city, where the ambiance resembles that of 50s diner. Now, I'm sure this wasn't the best poutine in the province (what, with it being a fast food chain and all), but it sure beat anything else outside the city.

They say that in order to get the best of the best, you must go to the source... and they (whoever 'they' were) weren't kidding. I've tried poutine in Toronto, and also at a couple of restaurants in South Korea -- (Hey, people are catching on to this delicious (and deadly) comfort food.) -- and nothing compares to the fantastic explosion of squeaky cheese curds, gravy and fries in your mouth, like that of the poutine in Montréal, regardless of whether you're eating in a fast food restaurant, or a gourmet café. That's all I have to say about that. You simply have to try it for yourself, if you haven't already.

As my short trip to this beautiful city wraps up,  I'm left feeling rather hopeful that my next visit will take place sooner than later. Perhaps I'll be back for the jazz festival this year. That's another thing... smooth and soothing jazz croons flow out of almost every café, restaurant and shop in this city. And I'm not complaining. There's nothing like sitting back with a glass of red wine and indulging in some fabulous wisdom courtesy of Ms. Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday.

J'adore Montréal! See you soon.

xo

Fresh like morning dew

I was clearing out my photo library this week and stumbled across a few shots from the past year. Looking at them brought me into those moments, and the memories made me smile.

This shot was taken in the spring of 2010 in Seoul's Olympic Park. This couple had just settled down for a Saturday afternoon picnic, and were people-watching. Something about their ease fascinated me. They had a sense of calm that was foreign to a lot of people I'd encountered in Seoul.

This photo was taken during a visit to Krabi, Thailand in February, 2010. It was sunset and we were enjoying coconut shakes on an outdoor patio, while indulging in the fresh, seaside breeze. Such sweet serenity.

I encountered Mr. Pringles at the Hampyeong Butterfly Festival in the spring of 2010. I couldn't help but take a photo of him in his sweater and Dolce & Gabbana belt. Such class in Korea's rural countryside.

This photo was taken at a shack called Carpe Diem on Thailand's Phi Phi Island in February, 2010. Something about the ambiance eased me. In fact, when this photo was taken, there was a man sleeping in a hammock, high up in the tree to the left of the photo. It was definitely a lazy Thursday.

This shot was taken in 2009, during a summer festival in Toronto. Cirque du Soleil performers were walking along the boardwalk in broad daylight. Such a fun, yet bizarre experience.

The 2009 Seoul Drumming Festival took place in Seoul Forest. It was my first big outdoor event in Korea, and it was absolutely fascinating. There were professional drumming troupes and performers from all over the world in this space. There's nothing quite like listening to Brazilian drumming beats in a forest in Korea. Talk about a global experience!

This was one of my first "big" meals in Seoul. Shabu-Shabu is actually a traditional Japanese meal, but this is the Korean take on it. Notice the many plates? Traditional Korean meals have numerous side dishes to compliment the main course.

This photo was taken at PIFF Square in Busan, Korea. I love the colours in this shot. It pretty much depicts the neon frenzy that is Korea. The two ajummas (older Korean women) in the photo were selling dried fish treats from their stalls.

Stay tuned for another installment of photos very soon!

xo
SC

Busan Sights

I took a trip to Busan last weekend. Located on the south-eastern tip of Korea, it is a hub of coastal activity and beauty. I fell in love with the city as soon as soon as I got off the KTX and ran into a bunch of children playing in the fountain outside the train station. There's no better sound in the world than that of children laughing and enjoying life.

Busan's salty air sent me into a fit of nostalgia. I was immediately taken back to my weekends in Goa, India, when my mother would take us to the seaside for a swim and some delicious coconut water. There's something so calming about the coastal breeze that's infused with the smell of fish and salt. I know this might not be appealing to everyone, but it offers me a sense of comfort. I absolutely love the coast!


This photo was taken in Jagalchi (world famous) Fish Market. It's a huge, multi-storey building that houses some of the freshest seafood in the entire country. Busan has about 10 famous landmarks for tourists to visit, and this happens to be one of them. We wanted to eat here during our first night, but the restaurants were rather pricey. Regardless, it was awesome to see it for ourselves.


This is a photo of Taejongdae lighthouse. It was one of the most breathtaking views I've ever had the privilege of seeing while in Korea. We had to walk up a hill and take a tram to get to the location, but it was absolutely worth it. The view consists of majestic cliffs that look out towards the open sea. What really amazed me were the numerous hues of blue from the sea and sky, which blended so perfectly into the horizon. I felt humbled and in awe as I experienced nature at its best.


Before visiting Busan, I came across an article in a Seoul magazine that showcased this beautiful village with fantastic photos. As soon as I read it, I knew I couldn't leave Korea without seeing this place firsthand.

Taegukdo village is located just east from the downtown core of Busan. A short ride on a local bus brought us to the top of this area, that's built right into the mountains. The view from here is unlike any other. The author who featured this village called it "Santorini on the South Sea," and, as you can see, the title is quite fitting. Busan promotes this beauty as a "Lego village" because the colourful houses look like Lego blocks neatly stacked along the side of the mountain.

The bus ride is quite interesting, as it goes up steep slopes and turns at ninety degree angles, only to go further uphill, all the way to the top. This was such a contrast to Seoul's numerous high-rises and lack of green space.


We spent our last day on Haeundae beach. Known as the world's most populated beach, Haeundae features locals and tourists alike, (most from Japan, who took the short ferry ride across to the Korean coast). At first glance, it's impossible not to be overwhelmed by the numerous white and blue parasols (beach umbrellas), and yellow floats. Most visitors to Haeundae aren't avid swimmers, but for about five dollars a day, they're able to rent a float and enjoy the beach waves just like the pros.

It was interesting to visit this beach and see what everyone talked about, firsthand. There are a lot of people and there's a lot to take in. Haeundae features everyone from large families and groups, to couples and friends. And I can't leave out the insensible fashionistas -- those who come to the beach in five-inch, pencil-thin heels, barely there bikinis, and over-sized hats. They wake up from tanning, long enough pose in the water, only to run (or trip, for the most part), as soon as the waves take them down. I should say those sights absolutely amused this writer!

That said, Busan has to be one of my favourite places in Korea. It's such a fabulous blend of old and new, with nature and the metropolis living in contentment. People seem to take life less seriously along the coast than they do in Seoul. Part of me wished I'd spent my year in Korea living in Busan. However, I know I also wouldn't trade my experiences over the past year for anything in the world. I hope I'll find myself in Busan once again down the road. But for now, the memories of my days spent in the sunshine of Korea's south-eastern coast will always hold a special place in my heart.

xo
SC

Quarter Century

At Busan Tower, South Korea - August, 2010

While talking to my friend J (from [key]Stroke my Ego) the other night, I asked him how it felt turning 25. Simply put, he likened it to doing laundry. Here's a snippet of that conversation:

The reason why it was like doing laundry for me is this: the lead up to it, I hated. Just like before I do laundry, all the separating and being surrounded by dirty clothes. But when I got to the age and lived it, it gave me a sense of accomplishment. It's like that feeling when the laundry is done and everything is all folded neatly and put away and its smells so good. It gave me a better idea of what type of adulthood I am headed towards and it's given me the opportunity to decide whether that is the right path or whether i want to change it.

I liked this theory. And though the path so far has been unpredictable and, at times, chaotic, I've enjoyed the journey to this point. I'm looking forward.

xo
SC

Away I go

I'm heading south!

Although it's not as far as I'd like to venture, I'm still excited about heading to Busan, Korea, for a few days of adventure and exploration. It's been a long time since I've taken a break from Seoul, and now, with a couple of weeks left in this journey, I'm looking forward to a warm ocean breeze and some fresh seafood treats.

When I first moved to Seoul, someone told me I'd learn to appreciate fresh air. I didn't realize how true this would be, until I ventured out to the east coast over February. There's such a huge difference in the quality of air between Seoul and cities in other parts of the country. The air in Seoul is thick and, for lack of a better word, toxic. It's a landlocked city, so the pollution and smog just sits like a cloud over the entire area, making it quite difficult to breathe at times. This has been especially true as of late, because of the summer heat and humidity.

Although I've visited warmer countries and cities in the past, I've never had as hard a time with the heat as I've had in Seoul. Everyday, as soon as I venture out my front door, the first thought that passes through my brain is, "I need a shower!!" Getting out of the city literally means breathing a sigh of relief. It's a vacation for the lungs.

So this trip to Busan is coming at a great time. I'll be taking the KTX south for about three hours, and will be staying in the coastal city for a few days. Aside from a couple of key destinations like the Jagalchi fish market and Busan tower, I don't really have a plan. I'm looking forward to discovering as I go.

Stay tuned for updates when I'm back next week. In the meanwhile, I hope August is being good to all of you!

xo
SC

Circle in the Sand

... because this is barely the beginning.

As my journey in the RoK draws to a close, I'm starting to reflect on my time here. So much has happened in the span of this past year - both, positive and negative - yet, I can't help but hope that I'll always look back on this experience and smile.

These past few weeks have been spent preparing for and working at an English summer camp. I've been teaching middle school boys for the first time in my life, and it's been quite the experience. For one thing, I've learned that boys are more forgiving than girls. If I scold a male student for being disruptive in class, the next day he'll forget all about it and go back to his regular self. If I scold a female, however, she's guaranteed to hold a grudge for the remainder of her classes with me. It's a woman thing -- I just never realized we started at such a young age.

Almost every close friend I've made in Seoul will be heading back to their respective homes by the end of August. The thought of not seeing these women on a regular basis (as for the past year) is quite saddening. There's something to be said about choosing people to be part of your family. Yes, I say family because that's pretty much what they've become for me. Almost every experience, emotion and thought has been shared with them, and I can't imagine going back to a life that won't directly include them. Thank heavens for technology! It's a bit soothing for the spirit knowing that they'll simply be a phone call or message away. Another bonus is that no matter where I find myself in the next few years, I know I'll always have someone to visit!

On another note, I find it rather fitting that my favourite book will be released as a movie, just a couple of weeks before I head home. I became steadfast about coming to Korea after reading "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. Before that, I wavered a lot, unsure if the experience would be right for me. After reading the book I began to understand how important it is to take risks in life and enjoy each moment we experience, whether good or bad. It became a reminder I'd turn to, every time I felt lost. It seems almost fortuitous that the movie comes out on August 13th. I hope you all have a chance to check it out!

I have a couple of trips planned for the few weeks I have left. After I finish working at the English camp this week, I'll be heading out with a couple of friends to explore the Southern coast of the country. We don't have a big itinerary planned, but the joys of traveling with these women is that they have wandering spirits just like me. Aside from a few key hot spots, we plan on simply exploring as we stumble. I'm pretty excited about it.

On a final note, I have some terrific blog news! StraightFromTheCurls has been selected as one of the top 10 blogs in Korea by GO! Overseas. Be sure to check out their site if you're interested in traveling, working, studying or volunteering abroad. It's laid out very well, and there's tons of interesting articles to help you with any questions you may have.

xo
SC

Your roots will follow

It's always nice to remember where you came from, even if you're not sure where you're going.


My lovely aunt sent me the sweetest e-mail greeting today. I mentioned her in a post I wrote after visiting India in 2008. She's in her mid-70's and still managed to find the perfect e-greeting for this random Saturday message. Her tech-savvy-ness is beyond impressive!

There was no purpose or special occasion for the greeting. She just wanted to say that she was thinking of me, and that she was proud of me. I was pretty taken aback, as I wasn't expecting to hear from her until my birthday. Her words were like sweet poetry -- something that I've always known comes very naturally to her. My aunt knows just what to say and when. I love listening to her and reading her letters.

In a few short sentences she reminded me of all that I've overcome in life, and of all that she hopes for my future. As I lay on my bed while the rain hit the pavement outside, I couldn't help but feel absolutely guilty. I think about her often and I miss her a lot. I'm not sure why I haven't stayed in touch. It's not like I don't have the time. I guess I just wasn't thinking. As soon as I'm done this post I will be writing to her. But before that, I should mention one thing that came up in the message.

"When will the experiences of your Goa trip materialize?" she asked.

I wasn't sure what she meant when I read the question at first. But after spending the afternoon thinking about it, I remembered something. During my short visit with her, she was keen on me writing a series of articles about a pressing issue in Goa at the moment -- a beautiful post-colonial state that's being exploited by tourists with a lot of money, and a government that's more keen on pleasing them, rather than preserving the rich culture and heritage that makes Goa so unique from the rest of India.

I never did end up writing those articles. But now I feel the need to do.... something.

I've been keeping updated on the changes, however I'm no longer a citizen of India. I haven't been for a very long time. Still, as you know, fragments of my heart are floating along the Arabian coast and memories of Goa cease to disappear with time. Though I'm not physically present, my roots extend from that small, coastal state. I'll always be tied to it, regardless of where I end up on this planet. I mean, here I am, in Seoul, Korea, thinking of a country I lived in as child. I only spent three weeks in the state as an adult, but I remember the distinct changes in the landscape, the priorities and most of all, in the environment.

My aunt is an active member in the community. Despite age and dwindling health, she still finds the strength to wake up each morning and trudge to the capital city and work for the causes she believes in. A critical one that she's involved in is empowering women in local villages to educate themselves and stand up for their rights. This is a big deal, as a lot of women in rural parts of the state still live with the old mindset that they simply go from being daughters and sisters to wives and mothers. And, should the unfortunate occur and their husbands pass away, they confine themselves to their houses and wait their turn to dive into the great abyss.

She really does amaze me. I'm grateful to her as she's the link to my roots. My aunt reminds me of where I came from -- of my ancestors and history. She sees purpose in my existence and believes that I can enforce change. I'm flattered, but I hope an idea or opportunity surfaces soon.

Looks like it's time to put on my thinking hat.

As Winnie the Pooh says, "Think, think, think..."

Love you, aunty M!

xo
SC

Image courtesy of Google Images

Dear Life

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

- Mark Twain

Dear Life,

You've been keeping me on my toes for almost quarter of a century now. Literally, you had me convinced I could run before I could walk. What's with that? I guess it's what set the whole 'you're older than your time' issue in motion.

But, I'm grateful to you. You've never left me for lack of entertainment. Just when I find myself getting bored, you always manage to throw another adventure into my path. Even if I'm tired and want to sleep for days, you manage to keep my mind racing with thoughts and ideas at a mile a millisecond. Sometimes they lead to massive brain cramps, but mostly they inspire me.

You've taught me lessons after the fact. I've tripped, stumbled and bruised my way to this moment in time, but I've (mostly) learned from the falls. You've made me stronger with each obstacle and have ensured that I have the power to overcome even my deepest and darkest fears. Don't get me wrong, I'm still nursing some of these battle scars, but I know I'll get through... because of time.

Life, you've taught me that time is neither linear or infinite (I guess I'm stating the obvious here, huh?). I have a few windows to jump through and a handful of doors to open in my adventure on this planet. And the most recent lessons have taught me that I HAVE to take chances and fly through them. Doing so will ensure that I'll always know I tried and trudged forward with faith, regardless of the outcomes.

I've learned the importance of having hope. It's the fuel that humanity runs on. If there was no hope, we would have all given up on just about everything by now. Even doctors, engineers and scientists - people who mostly work with definite answers - will admit that they believe in possibilities. Thinking positively about the future means that hope is a key ingredient in their thought processes. And it should be... for all of us.

I've learned to be grateful for moments of love and blissful perfection - even if they're momentary. Experiences where you feel like you're floating on clouds of happiness and can touch the sky mean such moments do exist. And if you've experienced them, you should be grateful, because not everyone does. I guess I'm one of the lucky few... even if just by moments.

I've learned to appreciate your sense of humour, Life. Seriously, you're a regular clown when you want to be. I mean, just when you have me believing I'm on a steady and sturdy path, you decide you're bored and put a boulder in my way. And what do you do next? Well, you watch while I work my way around (and mostly through) that giant rock. But I'll give it to you, you somehow always provide me with solutions on how to get by. So thanks for that, I guess. I'm glad you're amused at my expense!

Lastly (for now), thanks for making me into the kind of person who feels truly, honestly and deeply. You've given me senses that are triggered by the heart over the mind. I sometimes wish it was the other way around because perhaps my journey would be easier that way. But as it stands, I'm happy with the way things are for now. Living like this lets me see and experience the goodness, beauty and love in this world with genuine light.

I love openly because that's the only way I know how. And thank you for bringing kindred spirits into my life who also see things the way I do. But mostly, thanks for the ones who think differently, because they've taught me a lot as well. They've definitely made the journey that much more interesting.

So, here's looking forward to what you've got planned for me next. Bring on the lessons and adventures, because really, who ever liked taking the straight path anyway?

Cheers!

xo
SC

Image courtesy of Google Images

Hampyeong Butterfly Festival

This past weekend, three friends and I ventured on a spontaneous trip down south to Jeollanam province, to check out their annual butterfly festival.


The 12th Hampyeong Butterfly Festival was a refreshing sight after months of dreariness during the long, cold winter in Seoul. It being the end of April, we were craving moments of Spring in all it's glory, and wanted to experience and be around nature.

We took a bus from Seoul to Gwangju city, followed by a short transfer to Hampyeong - a rural town in the province. The differences between this place and Seoul were drastic to say the least.


Acres of land with trees, flowers and streams replaced the concrete jungle that I've gotten so used to. The air was fresher, the people smiled more, and there was an overall sense of calm and peace.

It was exactly what my mind, body and spirit needed, after coming back from Thailand. The new semester got off to a chaotic start at my school, and I quickly became quite overwhelmed; not to mention, I'd also been sick for the entire month of March and some of April. So, escaping to an event such as this, was just perfect.

It was a lovely day for families and couples to be out and about, enjoying the events at the festival. We couldn't have asked for better weather, as the sun was shining the entire time we were there. I managed to take some good people shots, some of which included children who had their faces painted with butterflies on them.


The Korean countryside is beautiful, to say the least. It's traditional farmland, with hints of modern technology, all merged into one. We took the KTX back to Seoul from Gwangju on Sunday, and were able to really enjoy the lovely scenery, during our three-hour journey.


I've now realized how easy it is to travel around Korea, and plan on getting out of Seoul as much as I can on weekends. Transportation is a breeze, and there's numerous festivals and events that happen all around the country that I can check out. It's a win-win situation, because I'll be happy to escape the chaos of the city, and my camera will be happy with all the photos.


xo
SC

Calendar Days

Well, April's almost here. It seems like just yesterday that I'd been preparing for my move to Korea. I have been in this country for just over seven months, with only five more left in my contract. I'm amazed at how quickly time has gone by.

Saying that a lot has happened over these past seven months would be a grand understatement. It's all that and so much more. I've grown in more ways than I knew possible, learning from experiences I never thought I'd have. And looking back on all the positivity and negativity, I can only say that I'm grateful.

Most people don't have the chance to do this in their entire lifetime. My friend here tells me the story about her grandmother, who lived in China till she was 80. After never having been on a plane or to another country for all those years, she ended up moving to America to be with her family... having to adjust, at that age, to a whole new life in a whole new world.

I've been lucky.

I've met some amazing people on this journey, so far. These are friends that I truly believe were brought together by fate and chance. They come from all walks of life, from different parts of the world. And yet, we all exist, here, as a family. We take care of one another.

When people ask me what life is like as a teacher in Korea, I can't really be honest with them. The only people who truly understand what a parallel universe this is, are the ones who've experienced it themselves. Sometimes I find myself sharing stories with friends back in Canada, and they usually respond in disbelief. "Not possible!" or "That didn't really happen... did it?" are the most common reactions.

Chances are, I'm telling the truth. That it did happen... and I've probably only given you the rough sketch of the story!

OK, and I'll admit that not all of these experiences have been brilliantly positive. More than once I've found myself in situations that I wish I could erase... but I guess life doesn't work that way. All I can do is learn and grow from them.

So, here's to the next five months. Here's to Spring flowers and Summer adventures. Here's hoping that time doesn't move so quickly that I'm blind-sided when August hits... but not so slowly that I sit here staring at the clock. I want to savor all of everything as it happens. This is a special chapter for the memory book, and I want to look back on it fondly someday and say, "Yeah, that really happened!"

xo
SC

The world in my shoebox

Multicultural: adj.
1. Of relating to, or including several cultures.
2. Of or relating to a social or educational theory that encourages interest in many cultures within a society rather than in only a mainstream culture.

Having lived in Seoul for just over five months now, I think it's time I shared a little bit about the relationships I've formed here.

I always imagined that moving to a different part of the world would expose me to new cultures, ideas and people, and that I'd eventually make new friends. What I never expected, was to move to a new country, only to connect with people from all ends of the planet.

My journey in Seoul began with a fabulous perk -- a mandatory orientation where 100+ teachers from across the globe had to coexist in a dorm-style facility for just over nine days. When in a situation like that, one is bound to form connections and create relationships based on common interests, goals and backgrounds. You're sort of given instant friends. And that's precisely what happened.

Five months into my stay, I can truly say I've been blessed in that respect. The epiphany hit me a few weeks ago when a few of us gathered at my shoe box for some wine and chit-chat. I had stepped out of the room for a bit, and when I came back in, I couldn't help but pause and look around. There, in my little, dressed-up, Manolo shoe box, sat friends representing various countries such as China, South Africa, Iraq, Columbia, USA, Canada and Korea. We also have a representative from the United Kingdom from time to time, but she was away learning Korean on this particular evening.

I couldn't help but smile.

This is the essence of travel -- stepping out into the wide world and realizing that there's more to life than the status quo. It's about understanding that connections can be formed with people, regardless of language barriers, skin colours or geography.

Dear Readers, I truly wish you could listen in on some of the conversations that take place among us. They're filled with rich stories of culture and days long gone. We talk about values, traditions and our colourful families. One of us even told a story about her grandmother's 'witch' cousin, back home! True story!

All in all, I wouldn't trade any of this for the status quo, because the joy and absolute laughter that bubbles out of my little shoe box on 'wine and chit-chat' nights, is something that I'd like to bottle up and treasure for the rest of my life.

These are some of the simple pleasures that come when traveling with an open mind and an open heart.


xo
SC
Image courtesy of Google Images

Meal-lag

It happened.

Dear Readers, it's finally come to this. It took me five months to get here, but it happened. Today, I woke up from a spontaneous afternoon siesta and realized it was time for dinner. Upon inspecting the choices for a decent meal in my fridge (eggs, bread, potatoes, tomatoes... Tupperware with questionable surprises), I intentionally opted for the following: scrambled eggs and a potato.

I made breakfast. For dinner. I made breakfast for dinner!

Now I know some of you are wondering what the big deal is... but please, hear me out.

As I sit here eating and typing away at this entry, I feel a delayed sense of satisfaction. I remember my friends in university -- the ones who lived on campus -- eating such meals as a ritual. Every night, the options were take-out, ramen noodles or breakfast.

Having never experienced that, save for the times I'd go to a restaurant and knowingly order the 'all day breakfast' special, this feels like a small victory.

I think I get it though. You know, the whole idea of cooking breakfast when in doubt? Breakfast is... easy! We almost always have eggs in the fridge. And eggs can be cooked in more ways than we can count. It makes sense.

In any case. A small triumph for a newbie out on her own in the big, wide world.

Or perhaps, this could be the beginning of bad behaviour? I start off by breaking rules concerning meals, and the next thing I know I'm. . . ahem!

A delayed reaction, no doubt... but a joyous one for now, nonetheless!

xo
SC

Toasty toes and toasty buns!

I'm starting to get restless.

I'm sitting at my desk at school, feeling terribly cold, and am dreaming of tropical escapes. Nothing out of the ordinary, right? But moments like these make me wonder what I was thinking when I decided to move to a country that experiences a similar winter to that of Toronto.

Well, I guess this wasn't the case always. Seoul is known to have winters where snow falls to the ground and melts away at once, because of all the pollution. But, this year, for some strange reason, we were given heaps and heaps of it, with no price tag at all. Well, maybe with a 'freeze your behinds off' price tag. Literally... you freeze if you're outside... and if you're not already frozen by the time you come in, you're guaranteed a frozen kaboose when you sit still or even lay on your bed inside.

This is where I need to express my thankfulness to two fabulous inventions in Korea.

First - Ondol floor heating. As someone who has cold feet 365 days of the year, I take full advantage of the amazing pockets of heat emitted from my floor. There's no better feeling than laying a pair of socks on apartment floor, only to wake up in the morning, put them on, and have instantaneous toasty toes. Ah-may-zing!!

Second - The bidet. Not for it's flushing purposes, because, believe me, the last thing I want is to have the toilet attack my... uh... special places. BUT, you know how in the winter you dread going to the bathroom because it's so frigid, so you end up holding everything in until the last possible moment? Well, you don't have to do that if you have a bidet! It has a seat-warming function! Absolutely serious here... you sit, and the next thing you know, you've got toasty buns!! Fabulous if you're suffering from the above mentioned frozen kaboose.

All that aside, I am looking forward to warmer temperatures. I miss traveling, and have been confined to Seoul for way too long. It's not that I can't travel through the rest of the country, it's just that I'd rather not, seeing as how everything is buried under a thick blanket of snow.

I must admit that this country is absolutely beautiful in the winter -- all the ancient gates and architecture, perfectly covered in snowy white... it's a sight that will be preserved in my memory for a long time to come. But I cannot wait for warmer days, so that I can really relish in all that Korea has to offer in terms of sights and scenery.

(I'll probably be eating my words here, once I start sweating buckets in the humid summer months.)

But until then, I will go on planning my tropical escape in February - destination to be determined.

Stay tuned.

This is a picture I took from my window a few days ago. I woke up to some giggling outside, and all I saw once I drew the blinds was this. Sadly, I don't share the same amount of enthusiasm for the cold as this lovely artist. But I am touched by the sentiment.

xo
SC

Image courtesy of StraightFromTheCurls

2009 century post

This is my 100th post for the year.
Wow.
It may not be much in terms of what's out in the blogosphere right now, but for me, this is rather exciting.

Over the course of 2009, I've had a 100 reasons to come here and share my thoughts with you, dear readers. It's been quite the year for me and SFTC! And really, during some of those moments, I'm not sure what I would have done without you. So for that, all I can say is, 'Thank you for being a friend!'

We're just under two weeks away from 2010, and the thoughts are starting to swirl. I've had an eventful few weeks, starting from the end of November... but it's nothing to complain about. The other day I was meeting S at DaVinci for a random coffee date. I had just had a 'EUREKA!' moment a few minutes prior, and wanted to come share it with her. So I ran in through the doors (my vanilla latte almost ready and waiting for me), and stood in front of her with the biggest smile on my face.

"Umm... what the hell is wrong with you?" she asked, in between trying to thaw out her frozen hands and taking sips of her latte.

"S! We're in Seoul!" I said, while looking at her as though I'd just conveyed the most important information of the year with her. "We're in Seoul! SEOUL!"

"S, you've gone nuts!" she said, almost too nonchalantly.

Perhaps that may have been the case. But never in my wildest dreams as a child, did I ever think I'd one day be living across the planet from all that I held comfortable and natural. It was my four-month epiphany.

I then went on to explain to her that while laying on my bed minutes before, I'd had a surge of freedom just soar through my body. I couldn't explain it, but it felt so good. It felt as though every bad thing that had happened thus far was... passé! Just... gone.

And I want to contain that feeling as we edge ourselves into 2010.

There's so many wonderful things to look forward to, this coming year. Not only does a new year bring a sense of a clean slate, but this is a double whammy because it's also the start of a new decade. I'll turn a quarter of a century in the year ahead. This is a time for reflection and action, on my part. And I'm looking forward to it all.

I've spent this past decade in various forms of education... I started high school at the beginning of 2000, and now, ten years later, having finished three forms of study since then, I find myself on the cliff of a new volume in my life.

The time I've spent on my own thus far has taught me to embrace life in all it's goodness and negativity, rather than fight it. Last night, a friend said to me, "we need to get right into the moment, and feel whatever it is we need to feel in order to get through it... why fight it?"

He said our North American culture has taught us to respond with "I'm OK," to every question that's thrown our way, with regards to feelings. We answer this way, even when we're not.

He couldn't be more right.

So, here's looking towards 2010, in all it's positive and negative glory. Here's learning to live in, and embrace life's journey and the feelings that come with it, from one moment to the next. But mostly, here's to all of your good health, happiness and peace.

May all of you set sail on experiences that will make you bolder, stronger, and more in love with who you are, than ever before.

Here's to 2010!


xo
SC

Image courtesy of Google Images

Chicka, count to 10

"I'm my own worst enemy!" I yelled at J, through the computer screen. We were laughing at each other and catching up on Skype after a few weeks of not chatting or talking. I guess you can say we both had our own Seoul-isms going on.

"Aren't we all?!" she yelled back. "Seriously, think about it... no one's perfect, and even when we don't think we're making mistakes, somewhere through it, we end up screwing up anyway."

She was right. I knew that. I know that. But it still didn't ease the fact that until the feelings of anxiety and irritation passed, that concept would simply not process.

"We're human, S," she said. "You said it yourself, we're learning and growing with each passing experience... sometimes it's hard but it passes."

And it does. I've been through enough moments in my life where I've felt as though the walls were going to close in on me, and the ground was going to eat me alive... but I'm here now, looking back on those moments thinking, 'I went crazy... for nothing!'

Except in those moments, it didn't feel like nothing. In those moments... reveling and living through those moments... those were hard times.

But that's the beauty of life I guess. You get through them... eventually. Even through the stormiest days and darkest nights... we get through them. There's always an end. And then we move on to the next chapter... or for some people, the next volume.

So why is it that when we're going through the 10th, 15th or 80th storm of our lives, we always feel as though we're about to be consumed? So much so to the point where that feeling of '... this is it!' takes over, sending us straight to the brink of a mental warfare, with no one else but ourselves?

Truly, we're our own worst enemies. If only we could program ourselves to count to ten before every impulse.

If only.

xo
SC

A bright spot

I saw this on another blog and couldn't help but share. It echoes my thoughts and sentiments at this very momement in time, as I find myself on the other side of the world, away from comforts and routine.

I hope you take something away from it as well.

xo

SC

Image courtesy of A Life  More Fabulous - Quote by Eve Ensler, as published in Glamour magazine's Dec '09 issue

A class of coffee

What is it about coffee houses that allow visitors a sense of comfort and familiarity? We’ve all been to one at some point or another, and we can’t deny the fact that they’re cozy at best… unless, of course, you’re at a coffee house where a simple latté costs no less than $10.

Friends – one of this generation’s most watched TV show – was famous for it’s fictional coffee shop, Central Perk. We became familiar with its set, and, soon enough, on Thursday nights it became our coffee shop as well.

I was never truly fascinated with the ambiance of different coffee shops until I moved to Seoul, South Korea, three months ago. This city is quickly becoming one of the most westernized areas in all of Asia, and, as the devotion to western brands grows, so do the number of cafés.

Coffee shops literally line the streets of Seoul. From bigwig franchises such as Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts, to the small, family-run cafés, there’s never a lack of choices for caffeine highs.

But what’s truly entertained me in recent months are the various themes that come with the cafés. Owners dedicate themselves to mimicking the soft, cozy comfort that adorns European coffee shops. However, in this city, they’ve taken décor a step further – it’s not simply a matter of interior design, but also about the mood and exterior.

There’s cafés dedicated to pets and their owners. Puppy cafés allow visitors to come in, have a cup of ‘jo, and pet a few furry friends during their stay. The animals usually belong to the owners, but, sometimes, patrons bring their own friends along for the visit. The dogs are friendly and even know how to pose for photos.

A puppy café in Hongdae, Seoul

If that’s not enough, how about sipping coffee and chatting with friends in a building designed as a cookbook? This café, also located in Hongdae, is a hot-spot for locals and tourists alike. On the night we visited, an artist was showcasing his work on cool, hot pink manta rays hanging from the lobby’s ceiling. Truly creative.

A café shaped like a book in Hongdae, Seoul

Finally, keeping things entertaining, and almost out of a scene from Astrix and Oblix, how about having a drink in a barrel? I found this gem hidden down an alleyway, just across from the book building. Even the mood lighting was cool.

A café shaped like a barrel in Hongdae, Seoul

What’s amazing about coffee shops in Seoul is that they serve everything from coffee to beer. Visitors can stay for as long as they want… and they usually do. One latté and cookie has bought me about three hours at Café DaVinci, with a window seat that looks out to the world.

As a writer, I couldn't be happier at this very moment.

xo
SC

Blue jeaned baby

After spending three weeks at my school, I dared to wear blue jeans to work today. If there was a problem, I figured I could use the "It's Casual Friday in North America" excuse.

And it was fine. I was eating lunch in the cafeteria with Mrs. P today, when she leaned over to me and said, "I like your style right now."

With a mouth full of rice and this delicious fish I've come to love and look forward to, I smiled at her and mumbled, "What?"

"I like your look today," she said, with her trademark smile plastered across her face. "You look young and cool."

Young and cool. Awesome!

I asked her if it was OK to wear jeans henceforth to school, and she said it would be fine.

What a relief. I am starting to float in the new pair of black pants I purchased before leaving Toronto.

__________

On another note, you'll notice I haven't blogged all week. To say this week has been emotionally and physically draining would be an understatement. (Cue my mother reading this and freaking out.... don't worry, Mum, I'm fine!)

But it has been a busy week and I'm thankful it is Friday. Not only that -- it's Friday and there isn't a jackhammer banging above my ceiling. Yes. The noise and demolition has finally stopped. I think the construction workers are now either putting together what it is they've broken, or replacing it. All I hear now are distant sounds of scraping and patching. The building is still a disaster zone, but Mr. S says they should be done work by October 1... this is before the Korean Thanksgiving weekend, so I am praying that he speaks the truth. Otherwise I am pretty sure I will have nothing to be thankful about.

Well, that's a mild exaggeration, but, you know.

I'm exhausted because this was my first official week of teaching. It's early Friday evening as I write this, and I'm so tired. Last week was easy because I spent it talking about myself... so the kids were interested. This week I had to jazzify a lesson from their textbooks and at least 4 out of my 19 classes couldn't...care...less. Seriously! Which sucks, because there are at least a few students in each class who really do try, and these other kids ruin it for them.

Today ended with this student in one of my grade 7 classes coming up to my desk in the staffroom and handing me a letter in a pink envelope with white polka dots on it. In the letter she introduced herself to me... in English that surprised me. She never talks in class. She told me about her hopes and dreams, and also about how she has a lot on her mind. She asked if I would write back to her... which I did... but I felt bad for not having the cute stationary that she handed me. I told her my little piece of diary paper would have to do. She didn't mind... she was simply thrilled that I wrote back to her. I told her that she shouldn't feel like she needs to change her name to an 'English' name... and that I'd feel happier calling her by her birth name.

(She introduced herself and then said, "... but you can call me Chloe.")

That's what's been pretty surprising for me. I was warned about people in Korea having their Korean names and also an English name. But... why? I mean, it's one thing if it's a joke... but instilling in these kids that in order to be more in tuned with the west, they need to anglicize their names... well, that's just wrong. All names were switched back to Korean in my English classes, right after one student told me to call her Paris Hilton.

Nope. Definitely not even in North America.

All in all, I'm simply looking forward to this weekend to veg, do some sightseeing and lesson planning. I'm absolutely starting to love Power Point!

xo
SC

Bert's back!

After a week apart, I've been reunited with my Mac... with a new hard drive... I couldn't get my old hard drive back because the service center people said they sent it back to Apple. Apparently it was broken in two.

I'm not going to freak out.

I've downloaded the essentials again... but I'm missing my copy of Office Mac terribly! Open Office will have to do for now.

I also need to invest in an external hard drive asap.

A brand new hard drive begs for a fresh start.

Here I go.

xo
SC