I don't know how much I buy into this business of destiny. If I had a dollar for everytime someone said, "make sure you choose the right path", I'd be able to build my own road-- right to where I wanted to go.
I want to write. I know that much. What I don't understand is why my professor wants me to follow the opposite of what my $90 textbook sets out to tell me. I had to convince myself that the opinion of one person marking my papers, won't set the pace of the rest of my life. I know someday, somehow, I will be doing what I love for a living. But I am not constructed in a manner where I can ignore blatant negative criticism. When someone tells me my work sucks, time and time again... I start to believe it... sort of.
So I guess I want to know what happens to us? By "us" I am referring to those of us who believe we have certain talents and want to nurture them, only to have people come into our lives, who tell us not to bother. If we don't bother, then what do we do? If we do bother... it may turn out that our biggest fan... is ourselves... and that doesn't help pay the bills.
Don't get me wrong, I have always known that science and math were subjects that I was never good at. I appreciated those who could do well in them, but I knew I was not one of them... but writng... now that was something I thought I was always good at.
Just because I don't watch every show on the CBC or listen to every show on CBC Radio... and don't pay attention to political warfare in my local area.... doesn't make me a bad writer. On a global scale, I can dictate more events happening, than five things happening in my member of parliament's cabinet. Still... how can that determine whether or not I suck at what I do?
I want the dream life. I want to be able to pay off my loans and buy a condo and have the whole nine yards. But I want all this, doing something I am passionate about. What is life, if you don't live passionately? Love passionately? Work passionately?
A friend just reminded me that even Albert Einstein was diagnosed with a learning disability... and he made the history books.
I suppose that was her not so subtle way of telling me to "suck it up!"... which I plan to do.