Saturday, 6 October 2007

Not a feminist... just feminine...

...and that seems to be the problem.
There exists a bracket of women out there, who are literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am talking about those 18-40-something women, who have careers and content lives, but cannot seem to find a decent guy to simply hang out with. I'm not talking about marriage here... I am simply talking about 2 people-- a man and a woman, spending time together, enjoying one and other's company... and letting life take it's course. It seems that a man and a woman cannot hang out consensually without it meaning something more. If a woman asks a man to hang out for company's sake... he usually assumes that she is hitting on him. If a guy asks a woman to hang out... it is assumed that he probably wants something more.
If a guy, who a woman is not attracted to, asks her to hang out ... chances are that she will go out with him, and assume nothing of it. If a woman, either "butterface"-esque (I've heard guys make reference to some women as such), decent or gorgeous, asks a man to hang out... she proably wants him to become the father of her children... or so it is assumed.
Ugghhh.... frustrating, isn't it?? We've all been there. The guy you've know for ages, but never hung out with for who knows what reason... your relationship is fine.... you suggest that the two of you finally hang out.... and he runs in the opposite direction, faster than the Roadrunner being chased by that stupid Wiley Coyote.
Seriously. I cannot list the number of times I have sat down with my Mother and tried to explain that times have changed from when she was young. The days of dates, drive-in movies, hand holding and simple conversation are long gone. Those things that would ideally make two consensual adults happy, are now replaced for men, by video games, downloaded movies, porn and technology. For women, it's replaced by conversation with other like-minded women, about how these guys would rather spend time doing the above mentioned, rather than... well, doing them.

So... here we are... with our glasses of wine... our Harlequin romance novels... our bubble baths... lattes... magazines... photographs of "good times with the girls", shopping sprees, careers and pets.
So here we are.
We're here. Where are you?

"Who cares about Mr. Right, when Mr. Good-Enough-For-Right-Now is waiting for you right around the corner?"
- Serendipity (2001)

... but, where is Mr-Good-Enough-For-Right-Now?

1 comment:

  1. the problem is that men, for the most part, have no idea what they want. i think a lot of it comes from the fact that life is different than it was 20 or so years ago. i think where women have really stepped up to the plate in terms of careers and such, men have fallen behind. gender roles are no longer as rigid as they once were, and though women can cope, or rather flourish, it seems that men cannot.

    i unfortunately spend almost my every waking moment trying to decipher men, and clearly, i have not come very far.

    my advice is don't settle for "good enough for right now", "right" will be along soon enough.



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