Hope and forward movement

"I'm moving into 2010, leaving what happened and who happened behind in 2009," I said.

"Don't you think that's kind of extreme?" she asked, with a shocked expression on her face.

"Kind of... but it's a new decade, so why not, right?" I said, thoughtfully. "I brought a lot of baggage with me into 2009, and I'm tired of lugging it around. So whoever wants to come along, can meet me in 2010. I don't mind! I'm just not carrying anything around with me anymore."

We did something on new year's eve this time. After the clock struck midnight and we shared our kisses, we headed out into the streets, lighters in hand, and burned two pieces of paper each. On one paper, we wrote something we were saying goodbye to, and on the other, something we were looking forward to. I'd never done anything like this before, so the thought of visually seeing something disappear and welcomed into the new year thrilled me to no extent.

It was a lot easier to write out those two statements than I thought it would be. Just before December took its final bow, I had pretty much made up my mind about what I wanted out of my life... and what I wanted in it.

There were no resolutions made this year. Just statements... filled with hope.

Hope.

I've come to realize that it's not luck or love or money that makes life move forward. Sure, all those things can make life better and more comfortable... but the foundation and reasons why we move forward... those things are based in hope.

I've broken almost every resolution I've ever made, looking back as far as I can. Sometimes, it's within a month... and sometimes it's just before I make the next resolution. So this year, I decided it was time to take a different approach.

I like the me I've met in Seoul. I want to take her back home with me. Back to the constant life I lead, among the constants in my day to day. In the four months I've been here, I've learned very different lessons than I have in my entire life - both, while in India and Canada.

I've needed to learn these lessons, and I can only imagine what the next few months have in store.

But even through the hard times and lulls, the one blessing I always have with me is my hopefulness.

Without it, I would be... lost.

So the general idea through this journey is to not let my hopefulness overtake my present. Hope means looking forward with optimism that everything will turn out alright. Now, whether that 'alright' is the kind of 'alright' I want, or the kind that the universe wants... well, that's yet to be determined.

But all I can do in 2010 is continue, in hope, that what will be... will be.

xo
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