Sunday, 28 June 2009

Step with Caution


This 'fate' and 'destiny' crap is irritating, isn't it? Every time I talk about the story, some blithering sap starts quoting verses of how the stars will one day line up and everything will turn out as it should.

"And how should it?" I ask.

"You know... these things have a way of working out if they're meant to be," they say.

I'm a hopeless optimist. A true romantic. But I'm also a grounded realist. Anytime I find myself fluttering up into the clouds of my imaginary ideal whathaveyous, I somehow allow gravity to force me back to the earth. It's tragic if dealt with any other way.

I fear all the fluttering will force me to face a tragic ending, so I'm careful.

Facing reality in the present, even though it may suck, may be the only way to prevent long-term Brontë-like endings.

Sure I like to think of how it will all "work out" in the end. If I could have it the way it plays out in my head, it will all end up roses. Truly Austenian.

But life taught me a long time ago that if you keep playing in beds of roses, you're bound to get pricked by a thorn.

So I'm trying to be careful. Hopeful... but careful.

I sometimes find myself a looking a couple of years into the future. And in my mind, my future has somehow found a way to shift all the gears into place. "Align the stars" so to speak.


But then again, who's to say that what I think I want right now... is what I need? Perhaps I'm painting a picture of this ideal... thing... that isn't quite so ideal.

Hmm... there's been enough signs pointing to that. So why am I ignoring them?

But then the question is: where's the eraser that just lets you forget, dust off, and move on?

I'm being cryptic. But you know.


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