Tuesday 12 April 2011

Wasted words

Sorry for the silence. I've been up to my eyeballs adjusting to the new job, which is going well so far (thankfully!). But something heavy has been weighing on my mind lately, and I figured it's time to let it out.


First off, let me start by saying this post isn't reflective of one person in particular, but rather of observations I've made over the past few months.

There are moments when I genuinely feel I should start charging people for the hours upon hours I spend listening to how stressful their lives are.

Now, here's the thing: I don't mind it. Truly, I don't mind lending an ear to people when they want to get something off their chest, or decompress their thoughts. Sometimes, when something has been floating around in your mind for so long, it loses value until you speak it out loud. Everyone deserves to be heard, and I've always been a better listener than a speaker. So generally, I don't mind it.

But what bothers me is this: People seem to walk around with this idea that they're the only ones (on a planet of close to 7 billion people) who are suffering from the problems they're encountering.

They're not complaining about unemployment, they're not complaining about sickness, they're not complaining about abuse, they're not complaining about malnutrition, they're not complaining about death.

They complain about things they shouldn't be complaining about. Silly, trivial stuff.

And then they ask for advice. Someone once told me never to give out advice for free, because chances are it will fall on deaf ears, and you'll find yourself repeating it a thousand times over. I didn't really believe them at the time...  but sure do now.

It seems to me that when people ask for advice, they only want to hear one thing -- confirmation that what they're doing, feeling, experiencing and considering is right. And if you tell them it's wrong, I think they block it out. They choose to intentionally not hear it. So you're left with wasted words... words that you'll find yourself repeating again the next time they come knocking for advice. And  the next time after that.

People, if you're able to kick back and read this blog, your life can't be that bad.

Sometimes I just want to scream when I hear the complaints. I often tell people to stop measuring their lives with someone else's yardstick. We need to stop looking at what we don't have in comparison to others, and start being grateful for what we do have. Not everyone in the world is so fortunate.

Have you read the newspapers lately? Have you watched the news? You should.

We are all dealt a different deck of cards. No one knows if someone else's life is better. What you see on the outside might very well be a show.

I'll admit, I'm guilty of complaining too. I mean, it's human nature to wonder if your life is as good as it should be. I often wonder if my life will change. If perhaps just one of the dreams I had as a child will come true. Who doesn't?

But it's the people who do it day after day.... come on! Take a step outside of yourself, and have a look around. You'll see that things aren't half as bad as you imagine them to be.

Look, all I ask is that you sit back and look at the positives in your life. You'll realize how blessed you are in comparison to a lot of people on this planet. You may not have what your neighbour has, and you may certainly not have what your best friend has.

But you do have. And you should be grateful for that.

We can only control so much in our lives. A lot of what happens to us is a result of external factors. When things get bad, you just have to keep looking forward, and remain hopeful. We're human... and are hopeful by nature.

So try to wade your way through the bad muck, and hold on to the good. It's all anyone can do.

And when all else fails, remember these wise words...

'Everything's gonna be alright.' - Bob Marley
(Sage advice from one of the most hopeful men in history.)

xo




Image courtesy of Google Images

5 comments:

  1. I've totally felt like this before - both about specific people and just friends in general. Luckily being on the road spares me from this a lot of the time =)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Andrea and John,
    It's so nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this way. To be honest, I think that's one of the many things I miss most about being on the road and away from my home-base... There's definitely something to be said about not always being 'in the know' when it comes to the trivialities of daily life. :)
    Hope all's well with you two.
    Safe travels! :)

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  3. straightfromthecurlsApril 14, 2011 6:09 pm

    Hi Andrea and John,
    It's so nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this way. To be honest, I think that's one of the many things I miss most about being on the road and away from my home-base... There's definitely something to be said about not always being 'in the know' when it comes to the trivialities of daily life. :)
    Hope all's well with you two.
    Safe travels! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. ...I totally agree with you here. i've taken to smiling and frowning where applicable...smile and nod is my new policy....

    ReplyDelete
  5. straightfromthecurlsApril 19, 2011 8:41 am

    Haha! I should definitely do the same. My words come easily, but sometimes I should ration them. I'm learning slowly that sometimes, silence is definitely golden. :)

    ReplyDelete

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