A Royal Pain

You knew it was coming.

We're merely a few days away from what has been tagged as 'The wedding of the century' and I think I'm about to lose my mind. First of all, how can we call something the 'anything' of the century, when we're just over a decade into it? Anyway...

What's with all this media hype over Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding? For the past five months, almost every entertainment channel, news network, and niche program has been focusing on the impending nuptials of England's future king.

I get it, I suppose -- He's Princess Diana's oldest son, and royal watchers (do such people actually exist?) have been waiting for this day since poor Wills was born. And I guess I always knew it would be kind of a big deal. But not like this! Plus, I love how they've pegged her as a 'commoner' when she's anything but. Are they forgetting that Miss Middleton is the heiress to a wonderful fortune? When I think of the word 'commoner', I expect a Cinderella-type, rags to riches story. Someone who paid her way through school with part-time jobs and student loans.

Still, they fell in love, and they're together, and that's awesome.

But...

It seems to me like every show in every time-slot from CNN (they're sending a staff of 400 people to cover this event) to the Food Network has somehow managed to incorporate the royal wedding into their programming.

"What will they serve?"

"Who will she wear?

"Will she produce an heir and a spare?"

Seriously? Is there nothing better to broadcast, write, tweet or blog about? I get that the media covers news as it's happening, and focuses on the big stories... but this would never have become a big story if we didn't let it.

Then there's the tabloids...

"Will Harry ruin William's big day?"

"What does the Queen really think of Kate?"

"The Diana curse... exposed!"

Are they ever having a field day with this or what? Looks like there won't be a 'slow news day' for a while.

Ugh! And then there's the Royal Wedding paraphernalia. There's everything from commemorative mugs (the mistake on this mug kills me), to commemorative barf bags. And just when I thought they'd covered everything, along came commemorative air. Yep. Now you can purchase a bottle of air from the area around Westminster Abbey, for the low, low price of... your dignity.

And let's talk about the blue sapphire engagement ring, shall we? It's beautiful, it's an heirloom... some people might argue that it's cursed and it's a questionable choice, all things considered *ahem! Elton John*, but the point is, it's romantic and a wonderful story.

What gets me are the ads running on TV, stating that you too can purchase a copy of this ring for the low, low price of $29.99, and that it comes with a certificate of authenticity... Hmm. Something about that doesn't sound quite right, does it?

Everyone is trying to make a buck off this wedding. I suppose one can argue that it's bringing the world together in a sense. But recent polls show that people in the U.K. itself can't wait for the hooplah to end. We, in North America are more excited about this wedding than the locals. What does that say about us?

I'm not anti-wedding, or anti-romance or any of that fun stuff. But for heaven's sake, put a cork in it already! I can't turn on the TV without being forced to think about this wedding. I've channel surfed and hit the mute button more in the past few months than ever before.

I really thought I was alone with my feelings, until I stumbled across this gem of support. I don't care about the Royal Wedding is a blog entry on Thought Catalog, about how one guy doesn't have any more room in his reality TV lineup for another piece of pop culture. It's pretty entertaining. The writer is mad, and he doesn't care who knows about it.

Seriously, Wills and Kate, I wish you two the best of luck, and a lifetime of love and happiness. But I can't wait for you to retreat into matrimonial bliss, so that the world can go on with its regular programming.

xo

Image courtesy of Google Images