Happy New Year 2009

Here's Mrs. Ella Fitzgerald asking today's most asked question:

What are you doing new year's eve
By ELLA FITZGERALD



xo
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2008 wrap up

Something about the end of a year makes people want to reflect. Maybe it's the cumulation of events that lead up to the last days of December, or maybe it's the fact that Christmas - one of the most stressful holidays of the year - takes place just a week before January 1. Though it's meant to be a peaceful experience with friends and family, consumerism and a more messed up western value system has changed all of that.

Whatever it is, people (myself included) feel the need for some sort of cathartic experience leading into the new year.

Some spend time reflecting on the 364 days gone by, in hopes that the 365 days to follow will be filled with better moments and memories for them and their loved ones.

Today I find myself thinking of 2008 in a wholesome sense. A lot happened this year - trips, milestones... things that I anticipated back in December 2007, but never imagined possible.

Friends achieved goals that seemed far away; family members brought new additions into the world; some embarked on trips destined to change their lives, while others stayed in the status quo.

For me, 2008 was a melange of memories that will forever be stored in a happy place, and moments that I sometimes wish I could forget. I've gained a lot of momentum in a professional sense, and have learned about a lot of things I want to achieve personally.

A couple of birthdays ago, a friend of mine wished me and said, "I have a feeling this will be the year of the SC." I laughed when he said that because I thought he was being silly. I let it pass because I couldn't imagine giving myself that much attention. Instead, I spent the months that followed focused on school, work, and nothing else.

Well, I'm reverting back to that thought. 2009 is already presenting itself with a lot of changes, starting with two distinct opportunities that I hope will further myself professionally.

I promise to start taking more risks in '09. Someone once told me that life isn't worth it's value if we don't take advantage of opportunities that present themselves to us, just because they seem scary.

I remember a song that two good friends played on loop during a couple of car rides this past month. "Defying Gravity" is a song from the Wicked musical soundtrack. A verse in the song said:

Something has changed within me...
Something is not the same...
I'm through with playing by the rules
of someone else's game.
Too late for second guessing,
too late to go back sleep,
It's time to trust my instincts,
close my eyes.. and leap!

It's time to try defying gravity.

And in 2009, I hope to do just that. It's my time to try defying gravity.

Thanks for all the love in 2008. I look forward to writing for all of you in 2009. Best wishes and I hope you all are filled with peace and happiness in the new year.

I'll leave you with a song from the movie Slumdog Millionaire. The composer A.R. Rahman is a well known Indian musician, who has the ability to move people to another world with his compositions. Enjoy!



xo
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The pre-dawn post

I've been spending a lot of time in my mind for the past few weeks. Thoughts that cannot be articulated. Words that can't seem to make their way from my heart to my mind and then out my mouth. I haven't been able to say the right thing for months. Me - at a loss for words. I guess the therapist has left the body?

This time it's different from the other times. This time, I see a definite need for change. I see my desire for peace and happiness stemming from one place and one person - me. It's been a hard thought process, which is probably why I haven't been able to articulate it. Maybe because this time, I know what I'm supposed to do.

I have the human right to be happy. I have the human right to live my life for me. I have the human right to break the cycle.

We live in the free world, and yet, here we are - prisoners - of our thoughts, our actions, our hopes and our sadness. How do we get away from the very things that pin us in place?

How do we break away unscarred? How do we pick up and start anew? If not anew, at least the way we want to.

I read somewhere that we can't change the past, but we can always have new beginnings. So, why is it so difficult to have a new beginning when there's so many (or a few particular) people's thoughts and emotions at stake?

I've always understood that we can only be responsible for ourselves - our decisions, thoughts, emotions, actions... our everything. In an ideal world, anyway.

Then why is it so hard to disconnect, when disconnecting would help on this journey of self discovery? Why is it so hard to be allowed an opportunity to figure out who we are, before our time is up?

I'm full of questions tonight. I can't answer these questions, and yet, they keep circling through my mind - as if on a spin-cycle of some sorts....

I'm not looking for the answers tonight. I'm just hoping for a chance.

xo
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