Is beauty really pain?

It’s an idea women have been conditioned with since the time they were little girls: If you want to look beautiful, you will bear the pain.

I remember being a student at the University of Toronto and having to trudge through the cold winter nights for my evening classes. I would be layered up like the abominable snowman’s wife because of the cold. But it was never the idea of beauty that remained at the forefront of my mind; it was practicality and my desire to stay warm.

During those same months I remember watching international students – mostly women – who, in the same frigid temperatures would wear heels that were five inches or higher, stockings and a thin jacket with not much else. They would walk and they would fall. But they would get right back up and continue to walk... and fall. I never understood what went through their minds… until I spent a year in Seoul, Korea.

I spent a lot of time in the city with my eyes glued to the ground. Not because I was shy or because I had a serious case of the ‘I can’t make eye contact with you’ syndrome. It was simply more fascinating watching feet in that country than it was to watch faces. On any given day, regardless of whether was snowing or sunny, you were guaranteed to find a plethora of heels (or keels, as they called them there… ‘killer heels’) hitting the pavement.

Now, for anyone that’s visited Korea, you’ll know that it’s anything but flat. Regardless, women would march up and down roads in shoes designed for European runways, and not the winding, uneven streets of Seoul.

I always argued that heels before breakfast never made sense (unless of course, you still had them on from the night before), so catching on to this fascinating idea of fashion was quite eyeopening.

With this information in hand, I took a chance and quizzed some of my female students on their reasons for donning these beautiful torture devices from sunrise to sunset, with no breaks for sneakers or flats.

“If you didn’t have to wear your uniform, what would you wear?” I asked them.

“Teacher! Skinny jeans, hoodies and keels,” they replied, almost unanimously.

“Why? They're so painful!” I said, face scrunched up for emphasis.

After looking at me with blank expressions, like I was the strange one in the room, one girl simply said, “But it makes women beautiful. And that is a good thing.”

For beauty, they were willing to bear the pain. And while most women pick up on this with time and age, these youngsters we exposed to the cardinal rule of fashion from the time they were tots. The obsession with long legs isn’t simply directed from men to women anymore. Women inflict this upon themselves, even when no one expects them to.

So the next time you ride the subway or find yourself in a public space, drop your gaze to the floor, and have a look at what people are wearing. Practicality overshadows beauty in Canada, so you may not find the keels I saw on a daily basis. But you might better appreciate living in a society where sneakers and flats before sunset are not only accepted, but also encouraged.

Note: AdornedMagazine.com originally featured this article on their website.

Top 5 posts of 2010

One of my greatest joys with Straight From The Curls is that it acts as a virtual diary to my life. Coming here and jotting down thoughts not only allows me to share my experiences with you, but it also gives me a chance to revisit these thoughts at a later date and time. For someone who tends to be rather introspective, this is quite helpful, and on many occasions it's been rather healing as well.

Since moving back to Toronto I've had a lot of time to sit back and read posts from the past year. I've had a chance to relive my exciting rendez-vous with Asia. More often than not, the posts always put a smile on my face, and I have moments where I think, "Yea, that really did happen!"

So in the spirit of celebration and reminiscing about the year that's been, here are my top 5 posts of 2010.

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5. Gumption - I wrote this post in January 2010. Obviously lulling in a low moment and in search of inspiration. And I was just getting into Mad Men at this point, so I was quite fascinated with the women at the Sterling Cooper Draper Price ad agency, and with the way they carried themselves. I still am. We could all use a healthy dose of some good, old-fashioned gumption! I'm glad I was reminded of this.

4. The world in my shoebox - My best friends in Seoul came from all over the world. This post is a reflection of my relationship with all of them, and about how we came to be friends. I will always be grateful to Korea because my experiences there gave me a wonderful group of international friends who I know I'll always be able to count on.

3. Finding my smile in the Land of Smiles - Written after a two-week romance with Thailand. I fell in love with the country, and long to go back there someday. This post is a reflection of my experiences in the Land of Smiles, as we backpacked through a handful of cities. The trip was therapeutic and came at a very pivotal time in my life.

2. Beauty, V and Me - This was an eye-opening moment for me in Korea. I wrote this post out of frustration and shock, and with hopes that people would stumble across it and learn from my experiences. My middle school students taught me a lesson in beauty, and about which traits they considered beautiful in women. Needless to say, very few of them believed the old adage that 'beauty comes from within.' This post outlines my experiences with this shock -- how I learned about it, how I dealt with it, and how I hope it will change in the future.

1. Love always wins - This is my first choice for the top 5 posts of 2010. Those of you who've become familiar with Straight From The Curls will probably agree with me when I say I've got a strange relationship with the word 'love'. There's posts on here about good love, bad love, healthy love, and downright painful love. But this post was a bit of an epiphany for me. It documents a couple of conversations I had in Seoul about the topic -- one with my teenage student, and one with a bar owner in Seoul's western neighbourhood of Itaewon.

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So there you have it -- my top 5 posts of 2010. I chose all of them from my experiences in Korea, because I was there until September of this year. Do you have a favourite post from the past year? If you do, please don't hesitate to share it with me. I'd love to hear about it.

Till next time, Cheers!

xo
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Sunday Song

I've spent the past few Sundays being a homebody. I've baked, decorated, slept, ready books and spent some quality time with my family and friends. In the hustle and bustle of everything that's happened since moving back to Toronto, I never imagined that this would be the exact prescription needed to get through my severe case of reverse culture shock.

I've reconnected with friends... or rather, established a new degree of comfort with friends who know me the best. It's a great feeling, and in the spirit of the season, I am counting each of my blessings.

2010 has been quite the melange of a year, filled with travels, love, heartbreak, life lessons and about a gajillion reasons to smile. I'm grateful for the experiences that forced me to grow up, and thankful for the moments that were so precious, I wished they'd last forever.

Despite the pitiful state of the economy, I take comfort in knowing I've chosen the career track that's right for me, and I know (and hope) that someday, I too will get my turn in to bathe in sunlight.

I was going through the photos on my computer this afternoon and stumbled across a few that I'd forgotten about. The discoveries really made me smile and I wanted to share them with you.

This series of photos takes me from January 2010, right to my first month back in Toronto.

I took this photo before heading down to purchase my ticket to Thailand. I left on my two week trip a month later. This was the most snow Seoul had seen in over 70 years. I wasn't prepared for it, and as you can see, neither were the people who'd lived there their whole lives.

This is a photo of the floor in my favourite café in Seoul - Café Da Vinci. It's Robert Frost's poem 'The Road Not Taken'. I love this poem and it seeing it was a constant reminder of my journey through Korea, and about the changes that took place in my life.

This photo was taken during the second leg of my trip through Thailand. We took a boat trip around Ayutthaya, and I saw this boat... with a room for rent. I wish I'd seen what it looked like inside.

This pirate... erm, I mean waiter worked at Bora Bora restaurant on Kho Phi Phi. He was quite an interesting character. A waiter by day and a fire twirler by night. I imagine he's thinking 'arrrrgh' in this photo!

This photo exemplifies life on Kho Phi Phi - relaxation at its best. Cats slept like this all around the island. I later found out it's because of heat exhaustion. Who knew?!

About a month after I got back from Thailand, the weather changed dramatically, and the cherry blossoms came out. This is a view of the street I lived on. It was such a pretty sight, and I loved my walks. The blossoms only lasted for a couple of weeks.

This photo was taken in Hampyong, Korea, during the city's annual butterfly festival. I love how happy she is. The sun was out, and everyone at this festival just seemed to be having such a fabulous time. Quite the stretch from the atmosphere back in Seoul.

I can't remember if this photo was taken in Insadong, Seoul, or in Busan. Regardless, I loved the message and the fact that it was so prominently placed the shopping centre. Words to live by.

This is another photo taken in Hampyong. I guess the timing was perfect. I love the older kid's reaction. The little boy had a blown up baton, but the look the older kid's face would let you believe it was steel.

Finally, in Busan, during one of the last trips I took while in Korea. I love that the guy being buried is STILL on his cellphone, and isn't fazed that his friend is making his body into that of a woman's.... A well endowed woman, it seems.

September in Toronto... the seasons had changed. Summer flowers gave way to colourful autumn leaves, and I was back to experience it all. I believe I was a lot more optimistic about my life back then.

This was one of my favourite photos taken in the fall. This tree was in the woods by my house, and I had a lovely view of it from my balcony. It was great watching the leaves change, and then eventually fall, as the season gave way to winter.

And there you have it. 12 random photos that have brought me to where I am right now. 2010 has been quite the year. But to be honest, I'm ready to pack it up and put it on the shelf. Bring on 2011.

xo
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You will smile in the future

I was on the subway coming home earlier this week, and had a moment I'd like to share with you.

I'd had a really long and awful day, and was looking forward to coming home and crashing on the couch for the rest of the evening. The rush-hour crowd wasn't helping my nagging headache, as people pushed and crammed their way into the already over-packed subway cars. Everyone experiencing their own sense of urgency.

As usual I turned on my iPod for the long ride home. Listening to music allows me to escape from my surroundings, but it's also a pleasant (and sometimes not so pleasant) trigger for lovely memories that tend to take a backseat when I'm focused on present negatives.

Within minutes of turning the shuffle on my iPod I heard the familiar intro to Shakira's 2010 World Cup song, 'Waka Waka'... and within seconds, I was transported to a small sports pub in the heart of Seoul, Korea this past June.


One of my good friends from my year in Korea - C - was from South Africa. So when we realized the games would take place in her home country, we were determined to indulge in the opening ceremony festivities with the South African expat community in Seoul. Listening to the song on the subway ride in Toronto reminded me of this spectacular experience in Seoul.

I don't remember another time when I'd been in a room full of people who were just genuinely happy. It was such a colourful atmosphere -- the little sports pub in Seoul was filled with South African expats and their friends, and they were all in a mood to celebrate.

If love had a pulse... then it definitely existed in that small bar on opening night.

I remember dancing so much, without inhibitions and with so much gusto, it might as well have been a rain-dance of sorts. But that was the beauty of it, I suppose. I was surrounded by people who weren't judging my moves or the fact that I wasn't South African... they just wanted me to have as good a time as they were. And I did -- vuvuzelas and all.

I mean, there I was, moving to the beats of South Africa, with my friends from England, USA, and South Africa... in South Korea. I remember taking a moment during that experience and thinking about how badly I wanted to bottle up the feelings that surged through me that night. I was genuinely and blissfully happy.

And back in Toronto, as I rode the subway home while listening to the song over and over, the memories of that summer night came flooding back to me. And I couldn't help but smile. And it made me so happy to know that I'll always have such memories to get me through times that are difficult.

Do you have your own go-to experiences that are guaranteed to make you smile? What are they? I'd love to hear about them.

Check out FIFA, Football and Family for a backgrounder on my 2010 World Cup experience in Korea.

xo
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Image courtesy of Google Images

Facing the familiar

There were quite a few things I had to get readjusted to after my move back to Toronto. After having spent a year in Seoul, I had become quite used to living my life a certain way. I had even become used to the many quirks that made Korea so alien to me in my first few months there.

Having moved back, I faced a lot of challenges that stemmed from things I took for granted while I lived here. Simple things caught me off guard, or shocked me. Things that should have been refreshing or familiar, scared or frustrated me. That said, I also came to appreciate a few things.

So here's five of my biggest shockers since moving back to Toronto.

5. Understanding what people around me are saying -- After a few weeks in Korea I became used to drowning people out. Most of my co-workers would speak in Korean when in my company, along with my co-teachers and students as well. The chatter became like white noise, and pretty soon all I heard were my own thoughts... and I was OK with that.

When I moved back to Toronto, one one of the first places I visited was a shopping mall. I was passing through the food court with my mum, when I found myself frozen in time and space. There were words spinning all around me, and the fact that I understood what everyone was saying scared the bajeepers out of me. People were talking about their significant others, about dinner plans and movie listings... even about the weather. And I understood all of it!

It was shocking because I realized these were probably the same conversations happening around me in Seoul... but I just never understood what was going on. The moment in the shopping mall felt like absolute chaos for me, and I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Since then, it's become a lot better. But boy, that first experience was pretty terrifying! It's funny how we take simple things like this for granted.

4. Tipping at restaurants -- I know, I know! This isn't something new or shocking. But one of the first things I learned while in Korea was that no one tipped at restaurants, bars or pubs. No one looked at you the wrong way for leaving a smaller tip, and certainly no one yelled at you if you didn't tip. It just wasn't expected. If you did decide to tip, most servers would graciously accept and thank you for it, regardless of the amount.

I understand the importance of tipping because most servers make minimum wage or less, and rely heavily on their tips. But I can't tell you how much it hurts having to fish through my wallet for change at the end of a meal with friends. I do it, because I know it's expected and it's the right thing to do... but I sure do miss going to a restaurant and only having to worry about my drink and food tally. Sigh. Simple pleasures.

3. Transportation... or lack of it -- I miss the nine subway lines in Seoul. They sure made it really easy to get from one end of the city to the other. Toronto only has two (and a half) subway lines. I always knew Toronto was more spread out than Seoul, but I didn't realize how densely packed Seoul was, until I moved back here.

The T-Money cards in Seoul were awesome as well, because I never had to buy a bus pass or monthly Metro pass. I simply had to top my card up with a certain amount of money, and use it until it was empty. Then I'd go back and top it up with some more as needed. Plus it was great because the card hung off my cellphone, so I never had to worry about losing it. So convenient... such ease. I'll definitely never take transportation for granted again.

2. Not being wired in -- Korea has the best Internet in the world! The speed was amazing and they had wi-fi everywhere. You could take your laptop into any restaurant, coffee shop or store, and chances are you'd be able to access the Internet with ease.

Not to mention the PC rooms which were located pretty much everywhere. I'd say they even outnumbered the many coffee shops throughout the city.

The Internet in Toronto isn't bad by any means... but it isn't fast -- or at least not as fast as Korean standards. I was spoiled for a year, and now I have to adjust to regular speed. Humbug.

1. Dressing... normally -- It's refreshing to be able to walk out of my house in jeans and a sweatshirt, and not have people stare at me. I was always conscious of what I wore in Seoul, because that's pretty much how the community was.

I dress for practicality -- fancy for fancy, casual for every day. But most people in Korea would dress up for simple, day to day tasks. I mean, women would wear mini skirts and stilettos to go hiking!

I remember this one time when I was meeting up with friends for what I thought was a casual lunch, only to show up and be the most under-dressed person there (I was wearing jeans and a black sweater). Everyone else was wearing a dress, or a button-down shirt, with fancy accessories. For lunch. On a Thursday. At a self-serve restaurant.

I can't tell you how awesome it is to be able to dress up or down as I choose, and to have people around me choose comfort over superficiality. This has definitely been one of the best perks of being back.

So there you have it... five things I've had to get readjusted to since moving back to Toronto. Simple stuff really... but I'll never take these things for granted again.

xo
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10 things I miss about Seoul, Korea

It goes without saying that Seoul offered me a lot of different and unique experiences that I'm finding hard to replicate in Toronto. This isn't to say that I'm missing my life in Korea, or that I want to go back and do the same job I did for a year. I've packaged up that entire experience and put it away, with plans to visit it and reminisce every so often. But sometimes, I can't help but compare. There were just some things that I came to adore about Seoul -- things I wish Toronto would pick up. So without further delay, here are the 10 things I miss about Seoul, Korea.

10. Kimbap - I. Love. Kimbap. Tuna kimbap, to be precise. My students introduced me to this delicious snack, which resembles sushi, but tastes quite different. I was hooked after my first experience. For about $2.00 a roll, I was able to enjoy this delicious melange of flavours in one awesome bite after another. Not to mention the price didn't hurt my wallet. When restaurants failed and Korean menus became overwhelming, I was always able to count on kimbap. Oh how I miss you, kimbap!

9. People watching - Yes, I know... I do this in Toronto too. But it's never as entertaining here as it was in Seoul. I can't count the number of times I was amused while parked at a bench or a patio. There was always something to watch, something to laugh at, or something to make me snarl. Even as I sit here, there's so many images coming to mind... like the time I was sitting at a coffee shop patio and looked across the street to see a group of grown Korean women cower in fear at the sight of a little shih tzu dog... with dyed pink ears. Or the time that American G.I. was chewed apart in public by his much shorter Korean girlfriend. Great times!

Oh, and for those of you still in Seoul, try picking a random Friday or Saturday night and try to stay somewhat sober. Then, head on over to the steps of the Cold Stone Creamery in Itaewon and watch the show. Words will never be able to express what goes down at that crosswalk. You simply have to see it for yourself.

8. Not understanding what people were saying - Yes it was frustrating at times back then, but now I miss it... sometimes. There's something to be said about being in a public place and not understanding a word of what's going on around you. All you have to rely on are your senses... smells, images, sounds and feelings. Everything is much more heightened and you're able to process the moment.

There were times when my face would give me away, and I'd notice the locals staring at me thinking, "Poor waygook (foreigner)! She looks lost. I'm going to try and explain what's going on to her." Then someone would come up and blurt a bunch of Korea at me.... of which I'd understand about one per cent. And in the following moments, I'd either be eating from their plate, doing a shot of soju with them in public, or dancing with them on a makeshift stage on the street. Looking back... such a wonderful memory. In that moment? Utter chaos, but barrels of laughs!

I'll save the story about the reverse culture shock I experienced in a Toronto shopping mall upon returning here, for another post. (Terrifying stuff!)

7. My students - I wasn't a teacher before I went to Korea, and I certainly am not one at this moment. But I can firmly say that I learned as much from my students as I hope they did from me. I formed amazing bonds with my middle school girls, despite our huge language barrier. I realized there's a formula for bonding with teenage girls, no matter which end of the planet you live on. And here it is:

boys + music videos + beauty + snacks on bad days
= no language barrier

Simple, really.

These girls tested me in more ways than I imagined possible, but they also made me laugh till I was in tears. They found ways to overcome their trouble with the English language, and found other ways to communicate with me. The Internet was very helpful in this... and so was Google Translate. They taught me things about their culture that no one else told me about... They reminded me of the school holidays, and taught me 'ajumma survival techniques'.

And they were curious about where I came from as well. I think about them so fondly, and I wish that all of them succeed in whatever they set out to do. (Yes, even the ones who made me question what I was doing in Korea, many times over.)

6. Scarves. Cheap scarves - I don't think I need to elaborate on this one. I love scarves, and they were sold by the dozens in Seoul. My size 8.5 feet didn't fit into most of the shoes, and I was always too big for the petite, doll-sized dresses. But there were scarves. There were scarves for all occasions, and they were available everywhere. And they were cheap. I made off like a bandit by the time the year was done.

Oh, and if you guys haven't already checked it out, here's an article I wrote about an awesome group of women from Cambodia who make these amazing silk scarves. All handmade stuff, and a perfect gift for the holidays. Plus you're supporting a wonderful cause. Be sure to check out Scarves with a Story.

5. The Seoul subway system - Toronto has two and a half subway lines. Seoul has nine. Nine subway lines that take you just about everywhere in the city... and in some cases, even outside the city limits. And it's pretty cheap, too!

There were subway stops literally blocks away from each other. And the best part? The most amazing part of this (which Toronto Transit Commission needs to catch on to), was the fact that cell phones and other wireless devices actually worked underground! It was so hard coming back to Toronto and not being able to message people while riding the subway. I had become so used to being 'wired in,' that it was a difficult adjustment. Get with it, TTC. Please.

4. Opportunities to meet someone new almost every day - The expat community had some pretty regular hangouts in Seoul. And unlike smaller cities in Korea, it was very easy to remain in the know in Seoul, or stay out of it. And chances are, you were guaranteed to make a new friend almost every day. Networking opportunities were plenty, and planning was all easily taken care of on the Internet.

Groups like AdventureKorea would cater to different events happening in the city and outside of it, arranging everything from transportation to accommodations. The only thing you had to do was pay, and show up.

It's a lot harder to meet new people in Toronto, mainly because the city is so spread out. If you don't live directly in the downtown hub, chances are you won't be able to network as easily, unless you make a conscious effort to place yourself in the midst of the chaos. This is something that's quite discouraging... especially if you live a 45-minute subway ride away from downtown.

3. My own space - it was nice having my own apartment. In a pretty fabulous location. I don't think I need to elaborate more than that, right?

2. The KTX - The amazing trains that can take you from Seoul to Busan (pretty much north to south) in under four hours! If I wanted to get from one end of Canada to the next... it would take double that time... by plane!

The accessibility in Korea is astounding. Sure it's a pretty small country, but the transportation available within most cities is remarkable. It was so easy to plan getaways and trips to other parts of the country. Everything seemed much more 'doable' than in Toronto. If I wanted to get out of the city here, I'd have to plan for weeks in advance... and need plenty of cash on hand.

1. My fabulous Seoul family - I miss them SO much! I think about them almost every single day, and wonder how each of them are doing in their own lives. We truly were the United Nations of Seoul, and I can't explain how much these fabulous people impacted my life. I learned from them, and grew with them. Most of my fondest memories in Seoul took place with them. I truly feel I was one of the fortunate few who was able to walk away from this experience with lifelong friends, who I know I'll be seeing very soon. Even if it is in another country... for a different occasion... in a different year.

And there you have it, folks. the 10 things I miss about Seoul, Korea.

Other honourable mentions include:
-Not having to tip... ever!
-Free, outdoor events
-Konglish
-Daiso
-Wine and other booze being sold at corner stores, at prices cheaper than actual food.

Have I missed anything? If you've lived overseas, what is it you miss from those respective countries?

xo
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Fresh like morning dew

I was clearing out my photo library this week and stumbled across a few shots from the past year. Looking at them brought me into those moments, and the memories made me smile.

This shot was taken in the spring of 2010 in Seoul's Olympic Park. This couple had just settled down for a Saturday afternoon picnic, and were people-watching. Something about their ease fascinated me. They had a sense of calm that was foreign to a lot of people I'd encountered in Seoul.

This photo was taken during a visit to Krabi, Thailand in February, 2010. It was sunset and we were enjoying coconut shakes on an outdoor patio, while indulging in the fresh, seaside breeze. Such sweet serenity.

I encountered Mr. Pringles at the Hampyeong Butterfly Festival in the spring of 2010. I couldn't help but take a photo of him in his sweater and Dolce & Gabbana belt. Such class in Korea's rural countryside.

This photo was taken at a shack called Carpe Diem on Thailand's Phi Phi Island in February, 2010. Something about the ambiance eased me. In fact, when this photo was taken, there was a man sleeping in a hammock, high up in the tree to the left of the photo. It was definitely a lazy Thursday.

This shot was taken in 2009, during a summer festival in Toronto. Cirque du Soleil performers were walking along the boardwalk in broad daylight. Such a fun, yet bizarre experience.

The 2009 Seoul Drumming Festival took place in Seoul Forest. It was my first big outdoor event in Korea, and it was absolutely fascinating. There were professional drumming troupes and performers from all over the world in this space. There's nothing quite like listening to Brazilian drumming beats in a forest in Korea. Talk about a global experience!

This was one of my first "big" meals in Seoul. Shabu-Shabu is actually a traditional Japanese meal, but this is the Korean take on it. Notice the many plates? Traditional Korean meals have numerous side dishes to compliment the main course.

This photo was taken at PIFF Square in Busan, Korea. I love the colours in this shot. It pretty much depicts the neon frenzy that is Korea. The two ajummas (older Korean women) in the photo were selling dried fish treats from their stalls.

Stay tuned for another installment of photos very soon!

xo
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10 simple lessons from a year abroad

Living overseas can teach you a lot about yourself, and every soul-searching, curiosity driven, wandering spirit knows that. However, living in a foreign land outside your comfort zone can also put you in some terrifying and interesting situations that eventually unveil themselves as lessons in this crazy ride we call life.

I've been back in Toronto for a month today, and figured I'd spend some time reflecting on the past year of my life abroad. Here are the results of those meandering thoughts through my mind -- a list of 10 lessons learned in the 12 months I spent in Seoul, Korea. Please bear in mind that these lessons have stemmed from personal experiences and encounters. They, in no way, shape or form, reflect the thoughts of other travelers. But I do hope you enjoy the list!

1. Keep an open mind -- Don't just say it, live it! Almost everyone you meet while traveling the blue marble will say they're a "free spirit" or describe themselves as "open-minded". But saying it and living it are two entirely different things. I've met many people on my travels who've described themselves as such, but have had absolutely nothing to show for it. Sure, they've traipsed from one country to another, switching through hemispheres and seasons with ease. But when it came down to letting a culture absorb them (yes, don't absorb the culture, let the culture absorb you!), they were anything but "free-spirited". Judgment came quickly when presented with various cuisines, traditions and customs. In my opinion (as an example), if you're in Korea and someone offers you live octopus as an entree for dinner, unless you're allergic to seafood or are a vegetarian, eat the live octopus! If you hate it, then so be it... but at least you can say you tried live octopus in Korea. There's not a lot of people out there who could say that!

2. Pack light -- This was a big lesson for me. It's so tempting to stuff suitcases with items that you think you won't be able to live without while traveling. You tend to think ahead and assume that at some point in your adventures, you're bound to need that blow-dryer/diffuser that works so perfectly with your curls. But guess what? Almost every hotel/hostel/inn/dorm/motel comes equipped with a blow-dryer in the room. And if not? Perhaps it's time you considered going au naturel. You are traveling after all... being a free-spirit! Just pack the basics like a pair of jeans, a warm sweater, a few t-shirts and small items. Almost everything else that you need can be picked up along the way. Toiletries, underwear and seasonal clothes can be purchased in your country of choice, and can be bought at reasonable prices... if you're a reasonable traveler. Plus, you'll be glad to have extra space in your luggage when you stumble across amazing souvenirs and treats that you're sure to collect on your travels.

3. Listen to your surroundings -- Whether you find yourself at the local watering hole, or laying on a beach under a blanket of stars, take a few moments to tune out your inner voice and thoughts, and pay attention to the sounds around you. It's such a treat! One of my favourite moments over the past year took place in Krabi, Thailand. It was nighttime and I was laying on a hammock that overlooked the private beach our hostel was located on. I had a stream of thoughts passing through my mind about how grateful I was to be there... counting my blessings. Then, in the following moments, I let the sounds of the surroundings take over me. I heard the soft waves rolling to the shore; the hermit crabs click across the flat sand beds under a moonlit night; the residential dogs, with their paws hitting the cement pavement whimpering in the background; the fireflies buzzing around the mosquito lantern; the easy hum of the wind blowing through the palm trees... and through all that, I heard peaceful silence. The moment sent me into sensory overload, but it was such an amazing feeling. It seems to me that if you let it, your body documents and records the feelings associated with your surroundings. In this way, if it feels good, you can always go back to the memory, and remember exactly how you felt in that moment. It's a surefire way to bring a smile to your face, regardless of where you find yourself in the future!

4. Let yourself laugh -- Seriously! Humour and ease go a long way when traveling. More often than not you will find yourself in situations beyond your control, and you'll be at the mercy of people you're not sure you can trust. When you feel hopeless and think, "This isn't happening!" please remember to laugh. Scientists have proven that laughter sends bursts of endorphins through your body, which can eventually help you think more rationally in times of crises. If you find yourself spending the night at a hostel run by a toothless Thai woman who isn't sure if she's 68 years old or 92, and you're not sure how you ended up there, and in the shadows of centuries old ruins, you see her doing a bewitching, traditional dance to Madonna songs... go ahead and have a laugh! Chances are the night will be over before you know it, and you'll be on your way to your next adventure. And then, she and the creepy hostel you stayed at will simply be a faded memory... a story that you'll be able to share in the future. Laughter helps ease the crazy. I promise! No matter how absurd it seems, or how worried you are, if you laugh, it won't seem as bad and you might actually enjoy yourself!

5. Indulge in story-time -- Whether they're yours or someone else's, make sure you take part in an exchange of stories. There are so many fascinating people on this planet, and in traveling, you're one of the fortunate few who will get to meet people outside your immediate network. Mind you, some are worth staying clear from, but generally, travelers all have interesting experiences to share. Personally, I was always inspired by what I heard. Whether it was in talking with the Dutch man who sold all his personal possessions after a bitter divorce and decided to stumble through the world as the "lazy traveler"; or if it was the American teacher who's Korean had gotten better than his English after spending so many years in the Land of Morning Calm... they each had these unbelievably fascinating stories to tell of their encounters and perspectives. When you travel, you will find a kindred spirit. That's a guarantee... even if it's momentary. Allow yourself to listen a little and share a little. It's great for the soul, and you always leave feeling more enriched than when you started.

6. Language exchange -- Yes, I know that the literal idea of a language exchange is to sit with someone from a particular country and practice your respective languages. My take on this (over the past 12 months) went like this: If I was out with my Korean friends and I heard key words that seemed to work with the waiters or other Koreans, I would ask what they meant, then spend some time practicing the words. They would do the same with English. Basic things like "where?" or "washroom?" or "please" and "thank you". Small phrases and words in the local language go a long way and can make life a lot easier. And besides, you'll be proud of yourself when you realize you can say a certain word in the language of almost every country you've visited and then some... "Yeah" "Neh" "Kah" "Oui" "Ha" "Woi" "Hai"... In English, these basically mean... "Yes". Who knew?!

7. Get lost in translation -- I still remember the same 68 (or 92)-year-old bewitching Thai lady who kept screaming "boat tip" into my ear. It took my friends and I a few hours to figure out she was asking if we wanted to go on a boat trip. It turned out she was definitely getting some sort of boat tip, as the original price of the long-tail boat ride nearly doubled when she quoted it. Highly suspicious! In Korea, I would often have older men and women say "Megook?" to me. And for the longest time I thought they were asking if I wanted a certain kind of soup, because the Korean word for soup is "guk". I couldn't quite figure out why everyone was asking me this, until I learned the Korean word for America was "Megook". I felt silly for a bit, but then started laughing when I realized I had twelve more months of misunderstanding adventures to experience. A year later I can say it was absolutely worth it!

8. Be spontaneous -- This one's a given, right? One of my favourite experiences in Korea happened within the first couple of months of me moving there. I was out having dinner with a friend, and we ended up at an outdoor barbecue restaurant. He asked for the menu, which arrived completely in Korean, with no pictures to support the text. A bit apprehensive at first, we decided to take a risk and pointed to three random items on the menu. A few minutes later a waitress walked up to our table and spread three platters of oysters, muscles, scallops and cuttlefish for us to cook on our fire pit. It was a delicious dinner that we never would have known about had we not taken the risk. Sigh, just thinking about that meal makes want to smack my lips!

9. Ditch the camera -- It's so hard to travel without wanting to capture every single, solitary moment on some sort of camera. This was the case during a great part of my time in Korea. I eventually learned to leave my house with the camera, in the odd occasion that something bizarre happened and needed documentation, but I didn't always use it. Sometimes it's best to leave the camera in the bag and let your eyes and mind take the pictures for you. You'd be surprised at all that you miss when you're stressing behind a lens, focusing on smaller details. Sure it's great to try and capture National Geographic type photos, but you shouldn't let that overwhelm your trip. Treat your senses to the real 3-D! Let yourself revel in where you are in time and space on this amazing planet!

10. Purchase Skype credits -- you may not use it all the time, and you might find it leaves you too connected. However, Skype is amazing in times of lows and emergencies. If you need the quick-fix sound of a loved one to get you through a difficult time, or if you need to call your bank overseas, Skype can let you do that with ease. Sometimes you might just want to share a story in present time rather than write it all out in an e-mail. Or perhaps a visit to a particular place might remind you of someone in your life. Skype is an affordable way to get you through the lulls and dulls. Consider it a vitamin for your travels -- it's not essential, but it's a good idea to have it on hand.

So there you go! Ten pretty obvious lessons that I'm sure most of you are already aware of. Tag these along to the tips you've read about the country you're visiting, and you're bound to have a fabulous experience that's sure to enrich your life!

Cheers and happy travels!

xo
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A switch

In the spirit of being optimistic and staying positive, I've decided to take the time out of each day to list a few things that I'm grateful for. Sometimes reflection is a good thing, and it helps keep life in perspective. So here goes...

Since moving back form Korea, I've learned never to take the darkness of night for granted. After living in Seoul for a year, surrounded by the glaring beams of neon lights, I've welcomed the dark back into my life. There's nothing nicer than sitting on the patio with a warm cup of tea in hand, and watching darkness cloak the city, save for a few twinkling lights in the distance, and the dim hues from houses.

That was one of the first things I noticed about Seoul, actually -- the neon lights. Everything from karaoke bars to restaurants seemed of equal importance because of their loud neon signs. In fact, on my very first night in Seoul, standing high on top of a hill, I noticed more neon crosses in the sky than I could count. Yes, even the churches advertised their locations with giant red or white neon crosses that reached high up into the night sky!

Moving back to Toronto feels like finding the dimmer on a light switch. Even though I live in the city and there's stores, restaurants and advertisements that showcase their purpose with bright lights, you're still aware when dusk comes around, followed quickly by night. It's a great feeling that I'll never take for granted again.

Hyehwa, Seoul at night - August, 2010

University of Toronto area, Toronto - August, 2009

xo
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Cities, Rivers and Lakes

I used to love visiting the Han river when I lived in Seoul. It had to be one of the best parts of living in the city... and the closest I'd come to nature in the confines of the concrete jungle. Even some of the best "natural spaces" in Seoul were man-made. But man couldn't take full credit for the majestic Hangang, as it flowed from one end of the city to the other.

In springtime, we would plan picnics along the riverbanks. We'd spend entire days parked on the grass, laughing, enjoying the good weather, and people watching. Friends would ride by on tandem bikes, older couples would stroll leisurely through the grounds, under the shelter of a single sun umbrella, and every so often, an adventurer on a jet-ski would zoom by, alerting everyone out of their relaxed spell. Those were good days.

A nighttime view of Seoul's skyline along the Han River. That's Namsan Tower in the distance.

But yesterday was the first time I felt absolutely happy to be back in Toronto. And it was the first time I realized how much I'd missed living in this city. It was evening, and I was downtown having dinner with a friend. Since we were close to the area, I suggested a walk along the harbourfront -- one of my favourite locations in this city. (I'm not quite sure what it is about lakes, rivers, seas and oceans, but for some reason, I'm always happier by the water).

Toronto's harbourfront overlooks Lake Ontario. On any given day, you'll find a plethora of boats docked at the harbour, while visitors and locals indulge in the activities along the quay. Summers are especially amazing, because of all the multicultural festivals and art shows that take place on the boardwalk.

The boardwalk along Toronto's harbourfront, with one of the cruise ships docked for the night.

So naturally I couldn't wait to visit the harbour after having been away for such a long time. We grabbed some coffee and strolled along the boardwalk just after sunset. Even though it was slightly chilly and there were clouds in the sky, it was a beautiful night. I liked the silence. After living in one of the loudest cities in the world, I've learned never to take silence for granted anymore. I also liked the soft lighting along the boardwalk, rather than the glare of neon lights. I think Seoul could learn a thing or two about outdoor ambiance from Toronto. Sometimes, less is more.

Now that I really think about it, I prefer the lakeside to the banks of the Han because when you look out into the distance, you don't see more lights -- just the dark horizon kissing the water. With the Han, the distance provided a view of the city-line (on both sides), and sometimes, all those neon lights could be quite overwhelming (and the furthest thing from calming).

I'm glad I left Toronto for a little while. Being away (and back) has made me appreciate all the things I took for granted about this city. I'm definitely lucky to call this place my home.

xo
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Images courtesy of Google Images

Busan Sights

I took a trip to Busan last weekend. Located on the south-eastern tip of Korea, it is a hub of coastal activity and beauty. I fell in love with the city as soon as soon as I got off the KTX and ran into a bunch of children playing in the fountain outside the train station. There's no better sound in the world than that of children laughing and enjoying life.

Busan's salty air sent me into a fit of nostalgia. I was immediately taken back to my weekends in Goa, India, when my mother would take us to the seaside for a swim and some delicious coconut water. There's something so calming about the coastal breeze that's infused with the smell of fish and salt. I know this might not be appealing to everyone, but it offers me a sense of comfort. I absolutely love the coast!


This photo was taken in Jagalchi (world famous) Fish Market. It's a huge, multi-storey building that houses some of the freshest seafood in the entire country. Busan has about 10 famous landmarks for tourists to visit, and this happens to be one of them. We wanted to eat here during our first night, but the restaurants were rather pricey. Regardless, it was awesome to see it for ourselves.


This is a photo of Taejongdae lighthouse. It was one of the most breathtaking views I've ever had the privilege of seeing while in Korea. We had to walk up a hill and take a tram to get to the location, but it was absolutely worth it. The view consists of majestic cliffs that look out towards the open sea. What really amazed me were the numerous hues of blue from the sea and sky, which blended so perfectly into the horizon. I felt humbled and in awe as I experienced nature at its best.


Before visiting Busan, I came across an article in a Seoul magazine that showcased this beautiful village with fantastic photos. As soon as I read it, I knew I couldn't leave Korea without seeing this place firsthand.

Taegukdo village is located just east from the downtown core of Busan. A short ride on a local bus brought us to the top of this area, that's built right into the mountains. The view from here is unlike any other. The author who featured this village called it "Santorini on the South Sea," and, as you can see, the title is quite fitting. Busan promotes this beauty as a "Lego village" because the colourful houses look like Lego blocks neatly stacked along the side of the mountain.

The bus ride is quite interesting, as it goes up steep slopes and turns at ninety degree angles, only to go further uphill, all the way to the top. This was such a contrast to Seoul's numerous high-rises and lack of green space.


We spent our last day on Haeundae beach. Known as the world's most populated beach, Haeundae features locals and tourists alike, (most from Japan, who took the short ferry ride across to the Korean coast). At first glance, it's impossible not to be overwhelmed by the numerous white and blue parasols (beach umbrellas), and yellow floats. Most visitors to Haeundae aren't avid swimmers, but for about five dollars a day, they're able to rent a float and enjoy the beach waves just like the pros.

It was interesting to visit this beach and see what everyone talked about, firsthand. There are a lot of people and there's a lot to take in. Haeundae features everyone from large families and groups, to couples and friends. And I can't leave out the insensible fashionistas -- those who come to the beach in five-inch, pencil-thin heels, barely there bikinis, and over-sized hats. They wake up from tanning, long enough pose in the water, only to run (or trip, for the most part), as soon as the waves take them down. I should say those sights absolutely amused this writer!

That said, Busan has to be one of my favourite places in Korea. It's such a fabulous blend of old and new, with nature and the metropolis living in contentment. People seem to take life less seriously along the coast than they do in Seoul. Part of me wished I'd spent my year in Korea living in Busan. However, I know I also wouldn't trade my experiences over the past year for anything in the world. I hope I'll find myself in Busan once again down the road. But for now, the memories of my days spent in the sunshine of Korea's south-eastern coast will always hold a special place in my heart.

xo
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Away I go

I'm heading south!

Although it's not as far as I'd like to venture, I'm still excited about heading to Busan, Korea, for a few days of adventure and exploration. It's been a long time since I've taken a break from Seoul, and now, with a couple of weeks left in this journey, I'm looking forward to a warm ocean breeze and some fresh seafood treats.

When I first moved to Seoul, someone told me I'd learn to appreciate fresh air. I didn't realize how true this would be, until I ventured out to the east coast over February. There's such a huge difference in the quality of air between Seoul and cities in other parts of the country. The air in Seoul is thick and, for lack of a better word, toxic. It's a landlocked city, so the pollution and smog just sits like a cloud over the entire area, making it quite difficult to breathe at times. This has been especially true as of late, because of the summer heat and humidity.

Although I've visited warmer countries and cities in the past, I've never had as hard a time with the heat as I've had in Seoul. Everyday, as soon as I venture out my front door, the first thought that passes through my brain is, "I need a shower!!" Getting out of the city literally means breathing a sigh of relief. It's a vacation for the lungs.

So this trip to Busan is coming at a great time. I'll be taking the KTX south for about three hours, and will be staying in the coastal city for a few days. Aside from a couple of key destinations like the Jagalchi fish market and Busan tower, I don't really have a plan. I'm looking forward to discovering as I go.

Stay tuned for updates when I'm back next week. In the meanwhile, I hope August is being good to all of you!

xo
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The Cicada Song

It's been really noisy in Seoul for the past couple of months. It all started in June with a few buzzing sounds in the evenings, as the weather started to get warmer. By mid-June, the noise had moved to all parts of the day, ranging from soft hummings to gradual crescendos, ending in an annoying symphony of rhythmic chaos. I remembered these sounds from when I first moved to Korea last august, but until now, I'd completely forgotten about it.

Cicadas have invaded Korea!

For those of you who don't know, cicadas are bugs that come out to play in humid and hot weather. They're known to make a loud, rhythmic noise, and for that, they can be pretty annoying. They're not like aphids or mosquitoes, which fly around and irritate people. These bugs stay high up in the trees, and are only noticed when they sing their songs in solos or choirs. You can almost keep the beat with them, once you've listened for a few seconds.

It's the beginning of August now, and cicadas can be found all over the city -- especially in areas that have a lot of trees. I did some research on these fascinating insects with regards to their presence in Seoul. I couldn't figure out why they'd move to a city as polluted as this one... especially since we have more high-rise buildings than scenic parks and woods.

As it turns out, there has been a large influx of cicadas in Seoul over the past few years, because of changes to the landscape. Architects in Korea are making a greater effort of including trees with large leaves in their designs, and this seems to attract the bugs to the city. However, the cicadas feel inclined to be noisier than usual because of all the other noises that come with the city -- cars, buses, people, etc. Apparently the noise is a mating call sent out by the males. Check out this video to get an idea of what I'm talking about. Mind you, this is merely one cicada. Imagine this sound multiplied by about 20 to 30 (at least) at any given moment.



It's hard to imagine that something so little can make so much noise! What's even more fascinating is the rhythm in which they sing their songs. Mother nature sure is amazing, isn't she?

xo
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Circle in the Sand

... because this is barely the beginning.

As my journey in the RoK draws to a close, I'm starting to reflect on my time here. So much has happened in the span of this past year - both, positive and negative - yet, I can't help but hope that I'll always look back on this experience and smile.

These past few weeks have been spent preparing for and working at an English summer camp. I've been teaching middle school boys for the first time in my life, and it's been quite the experience. For one thing, I've learned that boys are more forgiving than girls. If I scold a male student for being disruptive in class, the next day he'll forget all about it and go back to his regular self. If I scold a female, however, she's guaranteed to hold a grudge for the remainder of her classes with me. It's a woman thing -- I just never realized we started at such a young age.

Almost every close friend I've made in Seoul will be heading back to their respective homes by the end of August. The thought of not seeing these women on a regular basis (as for the past year) is quite saddening. There's something to be said about choosing people to be part of your family. Yes, I say family because that's pretty much what they've become for me. Almost every experience, emotion and thought has been shared with them, and I can't imagine going back to a life that won't directly include them. Thank heavens for technology! It's a bit soothing for the spirit knowing that they'll simply be a phone call or message away. Another bonus is that no matter where I find myself in the next few years, I know I'll always have someone to visit!

On another note, I find it rather fitting that my favourite book will be released as a movie, just a couple of weeks before I head home. I became steadfast about coming to Korea after reading "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. Before that, I wavered a lot, unsure if the experience would be right for me. After reading the book I began to understand how important it is to take risks in life and enjoy each moment we experience, whether good or bad. It became a reminder I'd turn to, every time I felt lost. It seems almost fortuitous that the movie comes out on August 13th. I hope you all have a chance to check it out!

I have a couple of trips planned for the few weeks I have left. After I finish working at the English camp this week, I'll be heading out with a couple of friends to explore the Southern coast of the country. We don't have a big itinerary planned, but the joys of traveling with these women is that they have wandering spirits just like me. Aside from a few key hot spots, we plan on simply exploring as we stumble. I'm pretty excited about it.

On a final note, I have some terrific blog news! StraightFromTheCurls has been selected as one of the top 10 blogs in Korea by GO! Overseas. Be sure to check out their site if you're interested in traveling, working, studying or volunteering abroad. It's laid out very well, and there's tons of interesting articles to help you with any questions you may have.

xo
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You can take the future

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope, with anything

I was serenaded by a stranger, this morning.
It's funny how life holds you together when you think you might fall apart at the seams.

I was running late for work this morning, having slept very badly the night before. Well, more like I came home from work, passed out, woke up at an odd hour in the night, stayed up for another three hours (thinking and thinking and thinking...), then fell asleep again at 3 a.m. I had to be up at 6:30 this morning. Let's just say I was out the door with 10 minutes left to spare.

Anyway, I was desperate, so I hailed a cab to drive the five minutes it took to get to work.

"Anyonghasayeo, ahjoshshi!" I said with a flustered smile. "Uhh.... Hongpa chodeunghaggyo, jusayeo."

He smiled and nodded his head and drove off. While in the cab, I started fishing through my bag to make sure I had everything I needed for the day. Laptop? Check. I had to finish the worksheets for camp. Cellphone? Check. Wallet? Check. Papers...

"Eodie nara?" he asked, while looking at me in the rear-view mirror. He was asking which country I was from. I learned to answer this question within my first week in Korea. And interestingly enough, it mostly came from cab drivers.

"Canada," I said.

"Ahh... Vancouver Olympics!"

"Yes." I felt as though I'd had this conversation a thousand times, so I was about to put myself on auto-pilot.

But instead of saying anything else, he nodded his head and looked at the road again. I found myself drifting off into my thoughts, when I heard him quietly humming to himself.

"... pushing through the darkness... hmmm hmmm hmmm... I believe in angels..."

"Abba?" I asked, with a knowing grin.

"Yes! I have a dream. You know?" His kind eyes smiled at me and he continued, a little louder. "... something good in everything I see. I believe in angels, when I know the time is right for me.."

Then, I found myself singing the next words with him, "I'll cross the stream - I have a dream."

We reached our destination, and as I proceeded to pay and get out of the cab, I couldn't help but feel lighter and happier. I was so grateful to start my morning off this way. I mean, here I was, in Korea, singing an Abba song with a cab driver in his 50's, and we were actually smiling at each other. I couldn't make these moments up!

"Have a good day, lady!" he said, as he drove off, singing to himself.

I found myself standing on the sidewalk yelling back at him to have a good day as well.

And as I walked the short distance to work, I found myself humming those lovely words that picked me up this morning, "...I believe in angels, something good in everything I see..."

So thank you, ahjoshshi. From the bottom of my soul!

xo
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Sicks and Sticks

I'm all for cultural sensitivity. In fact, after having lived in three very different countries in my lifetime, I can say that giving people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to their traditions and customs comes quite naturally to me.

However, an incident at my workplace earlier this week made me seriously call some of these so called 'cultural norms' into question.

It seems that in Korea, teachers are revered as higher powers. They take the role of parents while at school, monitoring students' behaviours, grades and habits. And by the same token, these students can approach the teachers and make similar requests of them as they would with their parents. They run the gamut from "Teacher, can you buy me lunch?" to "Teacher, give me your phone number so I can call you when I have problems."

While the teachers help guide these teens down the right path, preparing them for high school and university, they are also given a lot of power -- especially when it comes to discipline.

I was well aware when I first moved here that punishments involving hitting the students were not only practiced, but condoned. I owned it up to the fact that this was part of their culture -- a tried a true method that no one seemed to question. Having lived in India for the first part of my life, I realized this was the norm within a lot of eastern countries. As a child, I too was on the receiving end of many flying sticks, rulers, and sometimes, even my own compass case. Again, I chalked it up to the values and discipline methods of that society. And I would keep this in mind as I'd sit in the teachers room at my job in Korea.

From what I've noticed there seems to be one main disciplinarian at my school. He's an older man, who sits at the opposite end of the staffroom from me. He's respected by the staff (despite many not liking him), because of the years he's devoted to this school. Even though a lot of people tend to question his practices (as noted during numerous school lunches with the female teachers), no one dares to say anything to him for two reasons: first, he's a man, and second, he's got tenure.

On any given day, this teacher uses his stick about a dozen times at least. It seems like the punishment for arriving late at school is the same as the one students receive if they're caught cheating on a test -- a brutal beating on their knuckles and calf muscles, for as long as the teacher deems fit.

I never condoned this form of punishment, nor will I ever. I believe there are other ways to get through troubled students and teenagers, without resorting to physical violence. There should be degrees of punishment, and a student who arrives late shouldn't have to pay the same price as a student caught smoking on school property. Apparently I'm the only teacher who thinks this way at my work.

I suppose I'm wondering where's the line between cultural norms and corporal punishment? How far is too far, and at what point do the people witnessing this say, "enough is enough!"?

On this particular day the teacher had made his way across the staffroom and proceeded to lay into a couple of students just two feet behind me. I couldn't help but wince and shudder every time the stick made contact with their skin. The sound was unbearable and I couldn't even turn around. I just sat there, crippled, as he took turns with each of them. From my understanding he had caught them cheating on a test, and had brought them to the staffroom to be punished. At one point I heard a crack, and I realized that the man had actually managed to break the stick on one of the students.

As this unfolded, a few teachers mulling around the busy staffroom looked at me apologetically. One young, male teacher even came up and said, "You think this is wrong, I know. I am sorry...". However, not a single teacher, male or female, stepped up and said, "Enough!"

I should state here, that I've seen some of the female teachers hit the students as well. Bearing in mind that I work at a girls middle school, this seems less brutal than what usually transpires with that one male teacher. The female teachers are maternal, and discipline coming from them stems from a place of concern and worry. Their punishments involve things like kneeling in the staffroom with their hands in the air, or cleaning the classrooms after hours. And sometimes, a single, well-placed slap for the ones caught messing up time after time is also quite possible.

But no one ever resorts to what this man does. And it's apparent that none of the teachers agree with it. Yet, in the entire time I've been here, no one has said a word.

So, I understand it's a cultural thing. I've brought this issue up with friends who've said it's part of Korean society and that I need to learn to be OK with it. So why is it that I can't? I've seen both sides of the coin - studying in India and experiencing teachers hitting students for failing tests; and studying in Canada, where a mere misplaced look from a teacher can mean lawsuits and parental wrath.

What is it about Korea's patriarchal society that allows such behaviour to be considered the norm? It's not normal... it's archaic and vicious. Especially when it's a man doing this at an all girls school. And the fact that it's a society where people know it's wrong and still feel they can't say anything? Well, that says something. If Korea hopes to be a global leader in the 21st century, they really need to start looking at some of the things they deem as 'normal'.

I know a lot of you will have something to say about this post, so please feel free. I'd love to know your thoughts on the matter, so I'm opening the topic up for discussion. How far is too far when it comes to disciplining students in schools?

xo
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Missed me?

... Because I've missed you!

Before anything else, here's what my horoscope had to say today:

It's scary when you open your heart, especially if others cannot match your fiery intensity. You may overcompensate by demonstrating your ability to be emotionally detached now instead of admitting how much you care. But rather than keeping score, remember that every person expresses love differently. Your fears will dissipate when you graciously accept what is currently being offered without further judgment or comparison.

Freaky as heck! Not going into details about this one.

So, with the World Cup starting to dwindle down, I'm finally turning my attention back to my writing. Living in Korea, the games are usually broadcasted right after work, so the times I'd spend writing were loaned out to supporting the Korean Red Devils. Since they lost to Uruguay in the round of 16, I can now throw my support behind my beloved Argentina without feeling the wrath of my students and the ajummas/ahjoshshis around me.

I also spent the past few days on Twitter, following the issues that arose from the G20 summit being held in Toronto. Wow... talk about wrecking a city within a matter of hours! And for what, exactly? I have so much to say on this, but the main idea that comes to mind is as follows:

The people who destroyed the city and ruined properties without any just cause, or simply because they could, are lucky that they were in Canada. I don't see this as being acceptable anywhere else in the world. Perhaps there were times when the Toronto riot police could have handled themselves differently, but for what it's worth, the vandals/hooligans who brought global shame to our city deserved everything they got... and some might argue that they were let off too easy as well.

Lastly, I've been looking for jobs. I will be back in Toronto in under two months, and I dread lounging around the house while looking for a job. I am keeping my eyes open and starting to apply in hopes that I may have something lined up within a couple of months at least. Keep your fingers crossed for me, please! I'm sure none of you want to read a mopey writer's thoughts!

I think that's the jist of it for now. Oh!! I forgot to tell you, I'm going rafting/bungee jumping this Saturday! I can't wait! I've been craving an adrenaline rush for quite some time now, and this seems like the perfect opportunity. Photos will be up soon after.

xo
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FIFA, Football and Family

While most of my friends in Canada grew up with hockey and baseball as the family sport of choice, I was programmed to enjoy football (or soccer, for those in North America).

Yes football... the kicking, dodging, dancing, fancy footwork and general culture surrounding the sport, are things that I absolutely enjoy and look forward to.

Though most Goan families will admit that their children were born with a bias for the sport, I feel like my story was a special case. I didn't start off enjoying it. In fact, as a child, I would stir up an absolute ruckus while my father, brother, mum and uncles would sit around the TV and cheer for their favourite teams.

It wasn't until I was a little older that I started to develop a true appreciation for the game. My father used to play for Air India football club, and I remember listening to his stories as a child. I used to be in awe of this book he had, with all the newspaper cut-outs that carried his name and pictures in it. He even had a little showcase at home dedicated to all his trophies and medals. It really was a sight to see... and boy, did people SEE when they came to visit.

But, I digress. The point is that I started to enjoy the sport when I noticed how well and easily it brought people together. My family would literally stop any work, bickering and chores, just to gather around and watch 90 (and overtime) minutes of soccer. Regardless of the games' outcome, I remember this energy that would always fill the room -- it was contagious. Food and drinks were plentiful... and there was always enough mango juice or lemonade for my brother and me (this was very important). Soon enough, I joined my family and neighbours to indulge in the sport.

When we moved to Canada, I realized how much I missed this sense of belonging and comfort that came along with the sport's culture. I suppose I was more fascinated with that, rather than the game itself.

Canada has this same energy with hockey. However, because Toronto is such a vibrant and multicultural community, there's always an option to visit one of the specific 'country villages' to join in cheering for particular teams.

This is the first year I won't be with my family for the FIFA World Cup. It may not seem like such a big deal in general, but to me, it is. I'll miss the silly arguments with my brother (who ALWAYS roots for the underdog, just to spite me), and the friendly bets with my mum (who, somehow, always ends up winning... even though she begins by supporting the team that ends up losing. You tell me how this works!)

However, the beauty of being away from home this year, specifically, is that one of my dear friends in Korea is from South Africa. She's been spreading the joy of the game - which is being hosted in South Africa this month - for as long as I can remember! C has her outfits ready, the game schedules, and has even set up events where all of us can watch the matches together! This is bliss, with my United Nations family!

I'm really looking forward to the next couple of weeks. I even went out and bought a red Korean soccer jersey to support the Korean Red Devils. It's interesting living in a country again where the game is actually appreciated nationwide.

I'll leave you with "Waka Waka" by Shakira - the official song for the 2010 FIFA World Cup. Watch it, listen to it and love it! The beautiful video will have you moving in seconds!

xo
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P.S. Be sure to visit One Moment, One Note (a project by SFTC) for some insightful, inspiring and funny moments from people around the world.

"Waka, Waka!"

Beauty, V and Me

I've spent this past week doing a lesson on "Beauty" with my students. The idea had been stewing for some time, and I knew I wanted to try and pick their brains on the topic, before my contract was up. This seemed like the perfect opportunity, as I struggled to create another lesson plan.

The results have been quite interesting so far. Instead of an activity, it's more of a conversation based class, where I show them photos and they tell me what they think. I run the gamut from celebrities with before and after photos, right through to botched plastic surgery videos on YouTube.

But what's fascinating, are their thoughts on the subject. At the start of every class, I ask them, "What does 'beautiful' mean?"

Most responses are as follows:

"Small face!"
"Big eyes..."
"Perfect 'V' shape!" (referring to the 'V' of your face)
"White!"
"Perfect 'S' shape!" (referring to the 'S' silhouette)

You get the idea.

My goal for this lesson was to somehow ingrain it in their heads that beauty comes from inside rather than outside, (something that everyone seems to know, except my students, it seems). In fact, I made sure to end each lesson with an encouraging "... if your heart and mind are good, your beauty will shine from within" speech.

At one point I think the idea started to register with a few of the girls... until a photo of Kate Winslet showed up on the screen.

"Titanic!" one girl shouted.

"Yes, this is the actress from Titanic," I said. "Do you think she is beautiful?"

"No!!" they said, almost in unison.

"Why is that?"

"She's old!"

I was dumbfounded! Were they telling me that getting older meant losing beauty? I felt forced into a battle and dove right in.

"Is your mother beautiful?" I asked. There were some nods and uncertain stares.

"OK, how about your grandmother?" I received 30 blank looks and dead silence. "You know, one day you too will be old," I said. "How would you like it if young people called you ugly then?"

This seemed to affect some students who blushed in embarrassment, while others simply rolled their eyes.

I was telling S that since a majority of the young women in Korea seem to think the same way -- that external beauty and plastic surgery are keys to happiness -- there must be a bigger problem at hand.

Here I'd like to point you towards another blog that explains how the Korean media markets to self-conscious youth and young women, with the help of the English alphabet. Korean Women Are Not Alphabets, a blog post/article that appeared in the Korea Times, explains how the media uses letters like M, S, U, V, W and X to depict the ideal body shape for a woman. Yes, the so called 'perfect' woman should have all these alphabets.


If you watch Korean television, go to grocery stores and even ride the subway, you are bound to cross advertisements depicting how you too can achieve these letters -- through juice boxes, traditional drinks, a certain diet, and gadgets and gizmos tailored to target specific areas on your body.

There's no proof really that any of these things work... however, it's interesting to note that though Korean women are some of the slimmest women on the planet, they also consume the most amount of diet supplements. Check out The Grand Narrative to read more on this fascinating subject.

Hence, my lesson for the week has been as difficult as it's been interesting. Though I've been tested and had moments of frustration during the classes, I also feel sorry for my students. I hope that some day they'll be able to look past the media messages being sent their way and finally realize the truth behind the idea of 'beauty' -- that it most certainly does come from within.

xo
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Image courtesy of Google Images

Love always wins!

There's a lot of talk about love these days. I feel as though I've been having the same conversation over and over, with everyone from my middle school students to the friendly bar owner in one of Seoul's busiest neighbourhoods.

A couple of weeks ago, one of my fifteen-year-old students approached me and said her boyfriend broke up with her. She was extremely sad, which was such a shift from how I'd seen her just last month -- bright-eyed and beaming.

"I love him, teacher," she said.

She'd met him at an amusement park in Seoul, and their relationship lasted just over three months. Anyone can agree that three months in middle school land is a pretty long time. A couple of weeks went by, and I approached her again to see how she was feeling.

"Still... confused," she answered. "I just... love him."

"What do you mean," I asked. "How do you know about love?"

She looked at me and started smiling. I could see the pictures circling through her mind; memories of time spent together.

"I know love means happy," she started. After struggling with the thought for a little while, she went on. "Love... it means even when you are sad, you cannot feel sad."

I looked at her, with an utter loss for words. How would I - jaded and bah-humbugy - respond to that? I simply smiled, told her she'd be OK, and asked her to allow herself to feel any emotion that came her way.

"... even when you are sad, you cannot feel sad."

It made sense in a strange way, because love always wins. It's the strongest emotion out there.

I just posed this question on the SFTC Facebook fanpage (which, if you haven't already joined, you should!): "Which is a stronger emotion - Love or Anger?"

So far, commenters agree that anger and other emotions are fleeting, but love overpowers them all, and lasts the longest. I tend to think so too.

When it comes down to it, I feel that life is rooted in love. Whether or not people admit to it, a majority of our daily actions stem from love for something... or someone. And though our society is rapidly turning into a 'me' culture, deep down, everyone longs to be loved, and fears leaving this planet feeling unloved.

Am I right?

I got talking to a bar owner on Saturday night; a Korean woman in her mid-thirties who's witnessed the rapid generational and cultural shifts in the city. I was immediately intrigued by her, because, as a bar owner, I figured she must have met a lot of people from all walks of life, with strange and interesting stories in tow.

She laughed when I told her this, and said, matter-of-factly, that she was brimming with stories!

"This is a story of strange love," she said. "I don't understand, but I have this friend. Everyday she calls me and tells me she broke up with her boyfriend... and she cries. I tell her it will be OK, and she hangs up. She calls back the next day and tells me they are back together... and she laughs. I tell her I'm happy for her, and she hangs up."

"So... what's that got to do with love?" I asked.

"She's been doing this every day for the past two years."

I couldn't help but laugh. Talk about a bitter-sweet relationship!

But I guess her point was that love doesn't make sense... and why should it have to? It's an emotion that manifests itself into different forms to work in particular relationships. And as long as it works, why question it?

Because regardless of all the fighting, the emotional wars, the broken hearts and pain (sometimes self-inflicted), love - in one shape or another - always wins. And deep down, even the strongest cynics know that.

xo
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