Creative room

I'd like to tell you the story about my creative room.

When my brother and I were kids, my mum designated one room in the house for all our future pursuits. This was the room where I learned the alphabet, where my brother learned to count to 100, where I practiced what I thought look like amazing calligraphy (yes, at the ripe age of three), and where I became convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'd grow up to become a teacher just like my mother. Or perhaps a pharmacist.

I wish I had a photo of that room to share with you. But since I don't, please allow me to put into words the image that's ingrained in my mind.

It wasn't a big room by any means. In fact, it was probably the smallest room in the house. It had a small bed in it, an antique clock and a buffet-style table along one wall, and a dinning table that converted into our study area as we got older. Oh, and the room also had a window, which in those peaceful days, overlooked a small wooded area - home to many a stray cats, each with their own designated name.

As you might imagine, this was a living room of sorts for us. In the evenings, my brother (tamer and more civilized than I'll ever be) would come home from school and sit at the table to do his homework and read his Archie comics, while mum would drink her cup of piping hot tea and grade test papers. In those days I hadn't started school yet, but I was fully aware of what mum did... and what my brother was starting to do. And I wanted in!

The green crayon

Green. That was the choice colour, it seems. As I sit here and think back to that special place, I can't see white walls. I can only see scribbles. Lots of scribbles. I would watch my mother and try to copy her actions as she studied her students papers with intensity. Every check mark on a paper would mean a check mark on the wall. If a student had the misfortune of receiving a big X through an answer, then so would a porcelain white spot on the wall. Alphabets and numbers were scrawled all over the chalky white canvases, including pictures from my mind, begging for expression, even though I could barely put a coherent thought together.

And through all of that, mum never got upset. She was always aware of the insane toddler running around the room thinking she was Picasso incarnate; and yet, she never once lost her temper. As the years passed by, the walls in that room became covered with all sorts of strange musings. I think there were some nursery rhymes in picture form as well. One section even looked like those stick figures that archeologists find on cave walls. I'll never know what went through our minds in those times.

Creating comfort

That particular room always brought me a sense of comfort as I got older. In fact, my mum even taught me to tell time with the help of that antique clock.

I remember the day we decided to paint over all the walls in the house. I walked into the room with my mum and we stared at all the years of 'creativity' etched into the paint.

"How come you never stopped me?" I asked her. "This looks like the work of a crazy person. You let me keep going and going..."

"If you didn't have this space, you'd probably have attacked all the walls in the house," she said, with a laugh. "Not that it stopped you, anyway."

I grinned knowingly.

In the end, I was sad to see a fresh coat of bougainvillea pink cover a decade of memories. But I was glad my mum gave us that space to test drive our dreams. Those walls held truths and secrets of innocent minds. My brother and I were allowed to believe, imagine, create and hope in that space, without worries of the outside world. It was a sanctuary filled with so much love and happiness.

And even though I ran around with my crayons, believing I was getting away with some sort of illegal act, my mum always knew. She was around. She sipped her tea and graded her papers, and she always made sure she knew.

And now, as I look back, I know.

If you've got children in your life, I hope you give them creative room.

Image courtesy of Google Images

Is beauty really pain?

It’s an idea women have been conditioned with since the time they were little girls: If you want to look beautiful, you will bear the pain.

I remember being a student at the University of Toronto and having to trudge through the cold winter nights for my evening classes. I would be layered up like the abominable snowman’s wife because of the cold. But it was never the idea of beauty that remained at the forefront of my mind; it was practicality and my desire to stay warm.

During those same months I remember watching international students – mostly women – who, in the same frigid temperatures would wear heels that were five inches or higher, stockings and a thin jacket with not much else. They would walk and they would fall. But they would get right back up and continue to walk... and fall. I never understood what went through their minds… until I spent a year in Seoul, Korea.

I spent a lot of time in the city with my eyes glued to the ground. Not because I was shy or because I had a serious case of the ‘I can’t make eye contact with you’ syndrome. It was simply more fascinating watching feet in that country than it was to watch faces. On any given day, regardless of whether was snowing or sunny, you were guaranteed to find a plethora of heels (or keels, as they called them there… ‘killer heels’) hitting the pavement.

Now, for anyone that’s visited Korea, you’ll know that it’s anything but flat. Regardless, women would march up and down roads in shoes designed for European runways, and not the winding, uneven streets of Seoul.

I always argued that heels before breakfast never made sense (unless of course, you still had them on from the night before), so catching on to this fascinating idea of fashion was quite eyeopening.

With this information in hand, I took a chance and quizzed some of my female students on their reasons for donning these beautiful torture devices from sunrise to sunset, with no breaks for sneakers or flats.

“If you didn’t have to wear your uniform, what would you wear?” I asked them.

“Teacher! Skinny jeans, hoodies and keels,” they replied, almost unanimously.

“Why? They're so painful!” I said, face scrunched up for emphasis.

After looking at me with blank expressions, like I was the strange one in the room, one girl simply said, “But it makes women beautiful. And that is a good thing.”

For beauty, they were willing to bear the pain. And while most women pick up on this with time and age, these youngsters we exposed to the cardinal rule of fashion from the time they were tots. The obsession with long legs isn’t simply directed from men to women anymore. Women inflict this upon themselves, even when no one expects them to.

So the next time you ride the subway or find yourself in a public space, drop your gaze to the floor, and have a look at what people are wearing. Practicality overshadows beauty in Canada, so you may not find the keels I saw on a daily basis. But you might better appreciate living in a society where sneakers and flats before sunset are not only accepted, but also encouraged.

Note: AdornedMagazine.com originally featured this article on their website.

Top 5 posts of 2010

One of my greatest joys with Straight From The Curls is that it acts as a virtual diary to my life. Coming here and jotting down thoughts not only allows me to share my experiences with you, but it also gives me a chance to revisit these thoughts at a later date and time. For someone who tends to be rather introspective, this is quite helpful, and on many occasions it's been rather healing as well.

Since moving back to Toronto I've had a lot of time to sit back and read posts from the past year. I've had a chance to relive my exciting rendez-vous with Asia. More often than not, the posts always put a smile on my face, and I have moments where I think, "Yea, that really did happen!"

So in the spirit of celebration and reminiscing about the year that's been, here are my top 5 posts of 2010.

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5. Gumption - I wrote this post in January 2010. Obviously lulling in a low moment and in search of inspiration. And I was just getting into Mad Men at this point, so I was quite fascinated with the women at the Sterling Cooper Draper Price ad agency, and with the way they carried themselves. I still am. We could all use a healthy dose of some good, old-fashioned gumption! I'm glad I was reminded of this.

4. The world in my shoebox - My best friends in Seoul came from all over the world. This post is a reflection of my relationship with all of them, and about how we came to be friends. I will always be grateful to Korea because my experiences there gave me a wonderful group of international friends who I know I'll always be able to count on.

3. Finding my smile in the Land of Smiles - Written after a two-week romance with Thailand. I fell in love with the country, and long to go back there someday. This post is a reflection of my experiences in the Land of Smiles, as we backpacked through a handful of cities. The trip was therapeutic and came at a very pivotal time in my life.

2. Beauty, V and Me - This was an eye-opening moment for me in Korea. I wrote this post out of frustration and shock, and with hopes that people would stumble across it and learn from my experiences. My middle school students taught me a lesson in beauty, and about which traits they considered beautiful in women. Needless to say, very few of them believed the old adage that 'beauty comes from within.' This post outlines my experiences with this shock -- how I learned about it, how I dealt with it, and how I hope it will change in the future.

1. Love always wins - This is my first choice for the top 5 posts of 2010. Those of you who've become familiar with Straight From The Curls will probably agree with me when I say I've got a strange relationship with the word 'love'. There's posts on here about good love, bad love, healthy love, and downright painful love. But this post was a bit of an epiphany for me. It documents a couple of conversations I had in Seoul about the topic -- one with my teenage student, and one with a bar owner in Seoul's western neighbourhood of Itaewon.

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So there you have it -- my top 5 posts of 2010. I chose all of them from my experiences in Korea, because I was there until September of this year. Do you have a favourite post from the past year? If you do, please don't hesitate to share it with me. I'd love to hear about it.

Till next time, Cheers!

xo
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Circle in the Sand

... because this is barely the beginning.

As my journey in the RoK draws to a close, I'm starting to reflect on my time here. So much has happened in the span of this past year - both, positive and negative - yet, I can't help but hope that I'll always look back on this experience and smile.

These past few weeks have been spent preparing for and working at an English summer camp. I've been teaching middle school boys for the first time in my life, and it's been quite the experience. For one thing, I've learned that boys are more forgiving than girls. If I scold a male student for being disruptive in class, the next day he'll forget all about it and go back to his regular self. If I scold a female, however, she's guaranteed to hold a grudge for the remainder of her classes with me. It's a woman thing -- I just never realized we started at such a young age.

Almost every close friend I've made in Seoul will be heading back to their respective homes by the end of August. The thought of not seeing these women on a regular basis (as for the past year) is quite saddening. There's something to be said about choosing people to be part of your family. Yes, I say family because that's pretty much what they've become for me. Almost every experience, emotion and thought has been shared with them, and I can't imagine going back to a life that won't directly include them. Thank heavens for technology! It's a bit soothing for the spirit knowing that they'll simply be a phone call or message away. Another bonus is that no matter where I find myself in the next few years, I know I'll always have someone to visit!

On another note, I find it rather fitting that my favourite book will be released as a movie, just a couple of weeks before I head home. I became steadfast about coming to Korea after reading "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. Before that, I wavered a lot, unsure if the experience would be right for me. After reading the book I began to understand how important it is to take risks in life and enjoy each moment we experience, whether good or bad. It became a reminder I'd turn to, every time I felt lost. It seems almost fortuitous that the movie comes out on August 13th. I hope you all have a chance to check it out!

I have a couple of trips planned for the few weeks I have left. After I finish working at the English camp this week, I'll be heading out with a couple of friends to explore the Southern coast of the country. We don't have a big itinerary planned, but the joys of traveling with these women is that they have wandering spirits just like me. Aside from a few key hot spots, we plan on simply exploring as we stumble. I'm pretty excited about it.

On a final note, I have some terrific blog news! StraightFromTheCurls has been selected as one of the top 10 blogs in Korea by GO! Overseas. Be sure to check out their site if you're interested in traveling, working, studying or volunteering abroad. It's laid out very well, and there's tons of interesting articles to help you with any questions you may have.

xo
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Beauty, V and Me

I've spent this past week doing a lesson on "Beauty" with my students. The idea had been stewing for some time, and I knew I wanted to try and pick their brains on the topic, before my contract was up. This seemed like the perfect opportunity, as I struggled to create another lesson plan.

The results have been quite interesting so far. Instead of an activity, it's more of a conversation based class, where I show them photos and they tell me what they think. I run the gamut from celebrities with before and after photos, right through to botched plastic surgery videos on YouTube.

But what's fascinating, are their thoughts on the subject. At the start of every class, I ask them, "What does 'beautiful' mean?"

Most responses are as follows:

"Small face!"
"Big eyes..."
"Perfect 'V' shape!" (referring to the 'V' of your face)
"White!"
"Perfect 'S' shape!" (referring to the 'S' silhouette)

You get the idea.

My goal for this lesson was to somehow ingrain it in their heads that beauty comes from inside rather than outside, (something that everyone seems to know, except my students, it seems). In fact, I made sure to end each lesson with an encouraging "... if your heart and mind are good, your beauty will shine from within" speech.

At one point I think the idea started to register with a few of the girls... until a photo of Kate Winslet showed up on the screen.

"Titanic!" one girl shouted.

"Yes, this is the actress from Titanic," I said. "Do you think she is beautiful?"

"No!!" they said, almost in unison.

"Why is that?"

"She's old!"

I was dumbfounded! Were they telling me that getting older meant losing beauty? I felt forced into a battle and dove right in.

"Is your mother beautiful?" I asked. There were some nods and uncertain stares.

"OK, how about your grandmother?" I received 30 blank looks and dead silence. "You know, one day you too will be old," I said. "How would you like it if young people called you ugly then?"

This seemed to affect some students who blushed in embarrassment, while others simply rolled their eyes.

I was telling S that since a majority of the young women in Korea seem to think the same way -- that external beauty and plastic surgery are keys to happiness -- there must be a bigger problem at hand.

Here I'd like to point you towards another blog that explains how the Korean media markets to self-conscious youth and young women, with the help of the English alphabet. Korean Women Are Not Alphabets, a blog post/article that appeared in the Korea Times, explains how the media uses letters like M, S, U, V, W and X to depict the ideal body shape for a woman. Yes, the so called 'perfect' woman should have all these alphabets.


If you watch Korean television, go to grocery stores and even ride the subway, you are bound to cross advertisements depicting how you too can achieve these letters -- through juice boxes, traditional drinks, a certain diet, and gadgets and gizmos tailored to target specific areas on your body.

There's no proof really that any of these things work... however, it's interesting to note that though Korean women are some of the slimmest women on the planet, they also consume the most amount of diet supplements. Check out The Grand Narrative to read more on this fascinating subject.

Hence, my lesson for the week has been as difficult as it's been interesting. Though I've been tested and had moments of frustration during the classes, I also feel sorry for my students. I hope that some day they'll be able to look past the media messages being sent their way and finally realize the truth behind the idea of 'beauty' -- that it most certainly does come from within.

xo
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Image courtesy of Google Images

100 countdown

I seem to have come full circle.

This past week was absolutely emotionally draining for me. I received some news from home that shook me up a little bit, adding to an already exhausted body from some experiences in the weeks prior.

But, I'm OK now. It's funny how sometimes in life, we find ourselves moving forward without looking at what's gone by, when what we really need to do is stop and take a moment to reflect on what's happened.

This week, I plan to rest. I have to. May has chugged on forward, taking me through a tailspin of emotions and feelings that I haven't experienced in a long time.

I mentioned not too long ago that I plan on finishing my contract and heading back to Toronto at the end of August. Although I'm not heavily concerned about my lack of employment upon getting back, I am worried about my... self.

I wonder if the self I encountered in Korea will go back with me to Toronto. On many levels, I want her to. My mum asked me the other day if I feel less confused about life now, than I did before. I couldn't really answer her properly because I'm not quite sure. Experiences that I've had here have made me question my beliefs and thought processes a little bit.

As an example, what I've been dwelling on recently is this: Is what I say I want in life, really what I want? Or am I just saying it because I know it's what other people want for me?

I bet you're laughing! I find myself laughing at the silliness of it all sometimes as well.

But as the days pass by, I can't help but hope that the lessons I've learned here will continue on with me as I rebuild what I left back in Toronto. A positive to all this is that I finally feel ready to face situations that I've put on the back-burner for far too long. That feigned strength I used to put on all those months ago, finally feels real.

On a completely different note, last Saturday was Teacher's Day in Korea. As a result, I received a stream of letters from students in various grades, expressing their thoughts about English class and... well... me! One student even paired her letter with a box of throat candy because she was sad I'd been sick for these past couple of months. I tell you, these simple gestures go a long way in helping make up for the chaos I'm put through sometimes.

One of my letters read as follows:

Hello ~ S teacher!
Today is the day of Teacher!!
I thank you unconditionally because you do many things for me.
For example, you learned my name by heart, you smile every day and you inspect my English diary.
I want to be good at English. Please help me ~ keep it up.
I don't know if this is the right grammar?
But, are you OK?
Do you know my mind? I love you ~ and I respect you.
You are very pretty ~ more than a flower.
It's true. Believe me please.
I love you x100000000000000000.
Have a nice day.
Oh!! Can you inspect my English diary next week?
I will also write on the weekend.
Bye bye! ~ See you next week.

I must say, I teared up a bit at this. I've never received such genuine gratitude in my life. I didn't expect it, really. This particular student keeps an English diary and brings it to me everyday. We sit and spend a few minutes looking over her entries, while discussing her thoughts and ideas. It's actually one of the most rewarding experiences for me as well. It's during times like these when I feel like I'm actually making a positive impact on them.

Sigh! I will definitely miss these moments.

xo
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So, you're a teacher now?

It's something everyone's been saying to me in recent days, from friends to family. I guess I am. Not that I'm trained as one, save for the 10-day orientation that I had to undergo upon entering Korea.

My background is in humanities and literature. In recent years I've studied journalism and have worked in the field too. But my longing to get away from the mundane drag that my life had become, made me look towards the east. In this case, I applied for a job to be a native English language teacher in South Korea.

And the main requirements for me to get a job with the Seoul public school board was that I have a degree (in anything, really), and some experience teaching, in any capacity.

Fortunately, I had both.

That application process took about three months... and my life in Korea began two months ago. It's difficult for me to grasp that concept... that I've been in this country for two months. It truly seems like days. But when I sit down and think of all that's happened, and all that I've seen and experienced, I realize it truly has been months.

I've yet to spend a Saturday at home since I've moved here. Every weekend, I end up meeting with one or a few other foreign teachers, and we venture out on day trips. Sometimes, it's a simple trip to the fashion pockets in the city, where we search for 'kun' sizes... bigger sizes for our bigger, western bodies. And sometimes, we find ourselves having truly Korean cultural experiences, thanks to some of the locals who find amusement in making us try different foods, music and customs.

It can be exhausting at times, though. It's so tempting to keep on keeping on because I know I'm on borrowed time. For the moment, I know I'm here on a one-year contract. There's an expiry date to my adventure, so I try to make the best of every single day. But a recent conversation with S got me thinking... This is a year of my life. I'm not going to get it back. So I figure the best way to keep moving forward in a productive sense, is to find the balance I seek in the everyday. This means only doing what I can, without exhausting or draining my energy.

Teaching does tire me, I won't lie. It's quite the task, being a circus act at the front of a class full of girls, who only seem to grasp every 5th or 6th word out of my mouth. But, at the end of the day, no matter how tiring it all is, it does feel worth it. It puts the biggest smile on my face when even one or two students come up to me during the day and try to speak in English. This is when I know they're moving in the right direction.

The main issue with English in Korea is this: They study it from childhood, in both, the regular school system, and in private classes as well. By the time they get to high school, they pretty much know how to read and write. The only thing is that most times, it's not always perfect.

This is where the problem is.

Koreans (and don't hate me for generalizing, but this is through my experience only) are perfectionists. This is from the mouths of my co-teachers and also from Korean friends. They would rather keep their mouths shut, even though they know the correct thing to say, than actually speak, and perhaps say one or two words wrong. The idea of speaking less than perfection is simply not an option.

My co-teachers would not speak to me for the first few weeks at my school. These are people who've been teaching the English language to students for 10-20 years. I had to convince them that I wasn't the enemy and that despite our moments of miscommunication, speaking to me rather than ignoring me would work to both our benefits. They're only finally starting to come around.

Overall, it's a pretty good experience. I'm being tested in ways unimaginable, and I'm learning to be patient and open-minded. It's not easy, but it's worth the challenge. Every bad experience is overshadowed by about a dozen good ones.

For instance, my week has been pretty rough because of some lesson planning chaos. Today, I was dreading teaching my 8th grade afternoon class because I was pretty burnt out. As I sat in class and waited for the bell to ring while the students mingled among themselves, I noticed a few girls pointing to something by the computer and staring, wide-eyed. I quickly looked to see what it was... it turned out that the ceiling was dripping water all over the printer, floor, windows, computer desk and so on. One or two of my students got to work quickly, dabbing the water with tissues, rags and a mop. One girl ran to bring my head co-teacher into the room. The result was absolute chaos.

But the saving grace was this: the chaos forced me to abort my class and lesson plan. The girls were allowed to spend the 45 minutes in class, watching music videos by their favourite Korean bands... and trust me, there's a LOT of those.

So, a hectic week has made a U-turn on hump day, thanks to a flooded men's washroom on the 6th floor, a dripping ceiling in the 5th floor English Zone, and a group of 8th grade girls with a zest for music and a love for all things English... well, when I'm talking about pop-culture anyway. It's funny how they understood everything I said then.

This, my friends, is Seoul, Korea. Never a dull moment. And I couldn't have asked for a better adventure at this time in my life.

xo
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