Sicks and Sticks

I'm all for cultural sensitivity. In fact, after having lived in three very different countries in my lifetime, I can say that giving people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to their traditions and customs comes quite naturally to me.

However, an incident at my workplace earlier this week made me seriously call some of these so called 'cultural norms' into question.

It seems that in Korea, teachers are revered as higher powers. They take the role of parents while at school, monitoring students' behaviours, grades and habits. And by the same token, these students can approach the teachers and make similar requests of them as they would with their parents. They run the gamut from "Teacher, can you buy me lunch?" to "Teacher, give me your phone number so I can call you when I have problems."

While the teachers help guide these teens down the right path, preparing them for high school and university, they are also given a lot of power -- especially when it comes to discipline.

I was well aware when I first moved here that punishments involving hitting the students were not only practiced, but condoned. I owned it up to the fact that this was part of their culture -- a tried a true method that no one seemed to question. Having lived in India for the first part of my life, I realized this was the norm within a lot of eastern countries. As a child, I too was on the receiving end of many flying sticks, rulers, and sometimes, even my own compass case. Again, I chalked it up to the values and discipline methods of that society. And I would keep this in mind as I'd sit in the teachers room at my job in Korea.

From what I've noticed there seems to be one main disciplinarian at my school. He's an older man, who sits at the opposite end of the staffroom from me. He's respected by the staff (despite many not liking him), because of the years he's devoted to this school. Even though a lot of people tend to question his practices (as noted during numerous school lunches with the female teachers), no one dares to say anything to him for two reasons: first, he's a man, and second, he's got tenure.

On any given day, this teacher uses his stick about a dozen times at least. It seems like the punishment for arriving late at school is the same as the one students receive if they're caught cheating on a test -- a brutal beating on their knuckles and calf muscles, for as long as the teacher deems fit.

I never condoned this form of punishment, nor will I ever. I believe there are other ways to get through troubled students and teenagers, without resorting to physical violence. There should be degrees of punishment, and a student who arrives late shouldn't have to pay the same price as a student caught smoking on school property. Apparently I'm the only teacher who thinks this way at my work.

I suppose I'm wondering where's the line between cultural norms and corporal punishment? How far is too far, and at what point do the people witnessing this say, "enough is enough!"?

On this particular day the teacher had made his way across the staffroom and proceeded to lay into a couple of students just two feet behind me. I couldn't help but wince and shudder every time the stick made contact with their skin. The sound was unbearable and I couldn't even turn around. I just sat there, crippled, as he took turns with each of them. From my understanding he had caught them cheating on a test, and had brought them to the staffroom to be punished. At one point I heard a crack, and I realized that the man had actually managed to break the stick on one of the students.

As this unfolded, a few teachers mulling around the busy staffroom looked at me apologetically. One young, male teacher even came up and said, "You think this is wrong, I know. I am sorry...". However, not a single teacher, male or female, stepped up and said, "Enough!"

I should state here, that I've seen some of the female teachers hit the students as well. Bearing in mind that I work at a girls middle school, this seems less brutal than what usually transpires with that one male teacher. The female teachers are maternal, and discipline coming from them stems from a place of concern and worry. Their punishments involve things like kneeling in the staffroom with their hands in the air, or cleaning the classrooms after hours. And sometimes, a single, well-placed slap for the ones caught messing up time after time is also quite possible.

But no one ever resorts to what this man does. And it's apparent that none of the teachers agree with it. Yet, in the entire time I've been here, no one has said a word.

So, I understand it's a cultural thing. I've brought this issue up with friends who've said it's part of Korean society and that I need to learn to be OK with it. So why is it that I can't? I've seen both sides of the coin - studying in India and experiencing teachers hitting students for failing tests; and studying in Canada, where a mere misplaced look from a teacher can mean lawsuits and parental wrath.

What is it about Korea's patriarchal society that allows such behaviour to be considered the norm? It's not normal... it's archaic and vicious. Especially when it's a man doing this at an all girls school. And the fact that it's a society where people know it's wrong and still feel they can't say anything? Well, that says something. If Korea hopes to be a global leader in the 21st century, they really need to start looking at some of the things they deem as 'normal'.

I know a lot of you will have something to say about this post, so please feel free. I'd love to know your thoughts on the matter, so I'm opening the topic up for discussion. How far is too far when it comes to disciplining students in schools?

xo
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I wish I could go back to middle school...

... just so that I could kick some 'mean girl' butt!

This entry's going to be long... but please read on, as I'd love to hear your comments.

I am steaming right now. I haven't been this angry in ages, and go figure, all it took were a bunch of ignorant little tweens and their twisted realities, to send me flying over the edge.

I teach the equivalent of grades 7, 8 and 9 at my middle school in Korea. The ages in the classes range anywhere from 13 - 16. This particular incident involved my third graders... the supposed leaders of the school, by Korean standards.

One of my classes (that I see twice a week) has a special needs student in it. She's absolutely brilliant in terms of speaking, reading and writing English. I've been told she has 'autistic tendencies' by the teachers here, but they do nothing to help her, and force her to socialize and deal with the wrath of her peers in regular classes.

A couple of weeks ago, this student - let's call her J - was playing with a blue plastic mirror case. It had the design of a pig on it, and it seemed to amuse her to a great deal. With a few minutes left for class to begin, I approached J and asked her what she was so happy about. She pointed to the blue pig case and said, "This is a gift from my friend. I am very happy!"

I asked her if I could see it, and proceeded to open the case... only to be shocked when I found a broken and fragmented mirror inside it.

"Who gave this to you, J?" I asked. I was absolutely concerned about her safety at this point.

She simply smiled at me and said it was a secret. "I am told to keep a secret. I can't tell you!"

This made me angry, and I started to look around the class to see who would deliberately give someone a broken mirror, and call it a gift! This person clearly wasn't a friend.

A few minutes later a girl walked in, sending J into a fit of giggles. I looked at the front of the class, and saw a thinner, more petite girl, giving J the sternest look a middle schooler could muster.

"It had to be her," I though.

Following my instincts, I approached the girl and asked her why she'd give someone a broken mirror as a gift. The girl looked at the case, then at the broken mirror, and let her jaw drop to the ground.

"Teacher!!! What happened? This is dangerous! Oh, what about J? Is she OK?" she asked, in a breath.

"Yes, she's fine," I said. "What I want to know is why you'd do something like this? What's wrong with you?"

The girl proceeded to feign ignorance and said she had no idea the mirror was broken. She then walked up to J and exchanged some seemingly sweet choice words with her. Although, now that I think about it, it must have upset J a great deal, as she was quiet for the rest of the class.

FLASH FORWARD TO TWO HOURS AGO

J walked into our class after lunch and told me right off the bat that she hated coming to school.

"What's wrong? Why are you upset?" I asked her.

She said she couldn't tell me (again) but that her homeroom teacher knew.

I figured the bullying had something to do with it, but I let the topic drop after she insisted on talking to me about the weather. Still, I decided to keep an eye out for the student who'd given her the mirror in our last class.

Within minutes, this student walked into the classroom, seemingly angry about something. she took a seat in the row ahead of J and shot her a vicious look that I'm sure everyone caught. Yet no one said a word... including my co-teacher.

I proceeded to start the class as usual, working on the date and weather for the day, when I saw this student pull out a plastic mirror from her pocket and hold it back to J. The frame stood on it's own, with the missing mirror replaced by the photo of a pig.

I lost my restrain!

I called the girl out on it in front of the class, while taking the mirror and shoving it into a drawer in my desk. Once again, the girl - and her friend, who just so happened to be one of the smartest students in my class - feigned ignorance and said she was clumsy and broke the mirror before class.

J's face gave the situation away. I knew these girls had something to do with J's sadness, and I looked at my co-teacher in desperate hope that he'd intervene and do something about it.

He, as expected, did absolutely nothing, choosing to ignore what was happening right under his nose.

This is the third time I've encountered the same experience with the same students. What I can't wrap my mind around is how twisted these girls are, that they can think of bullying in such a way.

From what I gather, this is how it goes down:

They approach J and make her see her reflection in the mirror. They then proceed to taunt her, telling her she's ugly and that she looks like a pig. Next, they smash the mirror in front of her, telling her that it broke because of her face. So she should never look into a mirror, because the only thing she'll see in it, is a pig.

I hate this. I absolutely hate it! There's NO reason that anyone should be treated this way. It's also sad to say that the girls who are doing this have admitted to undergoing plastic surgery on their faces... in middle school!! Why on EARTH would a young teenager have access to cosmetic surgery at such a young age? Is their view of beauty and what's considered 'normal' in this world, so twisted??

I've done what I can to fix this situation, from confiscating mirrors, to yelling at the girls, to punishing them in class. But because neither their homeroom teachers nor my co-teachers think this situation is severe enough to need more attention, there's nothing else I can do but wait and watch as this time-bomb ticks.

It's moments like these when I'm reminded how limited my resources and means to make a difference are in this country. I can only go as far as they want me to go, as long as they're watching. It's only when they're not watching, that I'm able to take small leaps ahead.

xo
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