Music, moments and memories

One of the last distinct conversations I remember having with my father happened a year ago today. There were more, of course, but this one stands out in particular because of the date. It was about the death of Whitney Houston. She, for as long as I can remember, was always one of his favourite singers. "She has such a powerful voice, no?" he would often say to me.

He would then go on to compare her to the latest singers -- most of whose names he could barely remember. He would make up their names, coming as close as possible, but never quite get them. I guess it showed he didn't care much for the Britneys and the Chris Browns of modern music. He often vented about how the latest music was "rubbish". "Whitney -- wow!" he would say.

So when he found out one of our timeless favourites had passed away last February, all he could say in reaction was "So sad..." over and over again, with a contemplative look on his face. He knew her life story and said all of that didn't matter because she was an amazing singer with a beautiful gift. It was fun watching him talk about the things he felt passionately about.

The more I think about it, the more I realize he must have known he didn't have long either. Just over four months later, he passed away.

Image courtesy of Google Images

That's the thing, though. My father always had a special connection to his love for music. He preferred his trusty little transistor radio (tuned in to one of two stations -- CBC Radio 2 or the best of the oldies), to any television show. Well, except for Turner Classic Movies.

But the one thing that defined my father... The one way everyone knew he was home from work was because of the music -- soft acoustic jazz, classic crooners, the oldies and so much more. He loved it all.

And that's how we knew something was amiss towards the end. He was home, but the sweet sounds that floated lightly through the silence had stopped. The music had stopped, and that's how we knew.

Today, his little transistor radio sits on my kitchen counter, tuned to the same station that played his favourites for him in the evenings -- CBC Radio 2. Sometimes, when I miss him the most, I turn it on and it feels like he's in the room with me.

That's the funny thing about music -- it's the easiest way to connect with a memory. Music evokes emotions, and it's a wonderful thing. Whether a vacation, a moment of nostalgia or a person, music is universal and it acts as the invisible thread that ties our past, present and future together into a lovely package.

So whatever happens, whatever you do, don't let the music in your life stop playing.

xo

Simi

So finite

Yesterday it dawned on me. It happened mid-sentence and during a thought that had nothing to do with... anything. But for the first time it became quite clear that my time on this planet is limited.

I don't know why it took me so long to really absorb this truth. I mean, it's something I've always known (obviously), but it's a thought that has taken a backseat in my vehicle as I've maneuvered through life, when it really should have been sitting front row and centre.

Perhaps it's because we, as humans, are coded by society to live our lives a certain way. We try to measure our own happiness and success by those around us, and by what we're told is 'right.' You know? Go to school. Study. Get a job. Get married. Have children. Work. Work. Work. Because work = success. Save all your money. Retire. Then what?

I know far too many people who work so hard at jobs they don't like simply because it brings in money. However they then take that money and store it away at a bank or in investments, and never really see it. They say (the people I know) that it's to provide for their children (who don't exist as yet), and for future generations (who also do not exist as yet). And all the while these people complain about how much they hate their jobs, hate their lives and hate the people who bring them down. I hear this far too often.  Do they not realize that 'someday' should be today?

Not too long ago I too was in the same canoe. I was working at a job that made me quite unhappy. And I was working so hard that by the time I came home, I would pass out from mental exhaustion and sadness, with no time to enjoy my hard earned earnings. It was a vicious cycle.

Fortunately my tides have turned, and I now work at a place that feels like home. It's not easy by any means, but it's right for me. And I'm finally learning how to balance. However, part of this balance is the importance of knowing that my time on this planet is finite. That I shouldn't put off till tomorrow what can be done today, and that if it makes me happy, I need to jump in with my heart wide open. Because chances are I won't have tomorrow.

Take that trip. Quit that job. Study that program. Kiss that guy.

Live YOUR life YOUR way. 

Do what makes you happy. Be with who makes you happy. Even if it's just for the moment. Live for the moments that make you smile naturally. Be thankful, be grateful and pay whatever good comes your way forward, because everyone deserves goodness in their lives. 

As I tackle this next chapter in my life, I look forward to remembering that my time is finite. And that I don't have to follow anyone else's design for life but my very own.

I'm thankful for every chance I get to wake up, dust off, and embrace a new day with all the love in my heart. Because we're not promised tomorrow. We're only promised right now.

xo

P.s. Tell someone you love them. Today. 


Image courtesy of Pinterest.com

Quit the Quiet

I'm horrified at how long it's been since I posted a blog entry. Straight From The Curls used to be my safe place. I would find solace in my writing. I would come here to de-stress and share little pieces of my life with you. And for the past few months it's been impossible to spare a few moments to just breathe and let my thoughts process.

I don't like how things are at the moment, so rest assured that one of my resolutions for the coming year will be to find my way back to Straight From The Curls on a more frequent basis. 2011 will go down in history as one of the most tumultuous years of my life. There have been health scares, career ups and downs, utter confusion about life choices, and moments when I've truly felt alone in this big world. Perhaps it sounds a bit dramatic, but I can say with certainty that I am coming out of a messy mid-twenties crisis — partially of my own making, and partially the result of external factors.

On the plus side, this year also acknowledged a couple of positive firsts in terms of my career — editing my first nationally produced magazine and a monthly stint as a health columnist. Two things that I only dreamed about a couple of years back. It's been a tough year, but I got what I asked for, so I've been lucky.

I'm making a few changes in 2012. It's funny how people get so introspective at this time of the year, huh? For one thing, I've been reducing my lists on social media. I think it's great that 'Sally' from elementary school wants to become friends on Facebook, but if the only reason she's adding me is to troll around my profile and not say a word, then chances are, Sally, I'm going to delete you asap.

Isn't it funny? Did you ever think in, say... 2002, that this would even be a problem 10 years down the road? About someone from your past who you've made no efforts to stay in touch with, all of a sudden resurfacing, and with the click of a few buttons goes on to find out about what you've been up to since your grade eight graduation? Not cool.

Life certainly has changed a lot in the past decade. And it's weird, but I think more and more people are remaining static instead of changing along with the ebbs and flows of life. We're spending way too much time in front of a computer screen, watching other people live their lives, instead of actually making our own memories. Adding chapters to our own lives.

I know that for now, I won't be able to fully disconnect from social media. It's part of my job, and it's part of how I share my work. In fact, as soon as I publish this post, it will appear on my Twitter and Facebook feeds. But I'm hoping I can change the way I use social media. I'm hoping that it's something I can turn to when I need it, as opposed to logging on out of habit. Someone referred to it as social media snacking.

Definitely need to cut back on the social media snacks.

xo

Image courtesy of Pinterest.com

Clearing out the cobwebs

Yep. It's official: I'm definitely not in a good place in my life right now. You know how I know that? I've managed to not put a single word into this blog for over a month. It's the first time this has happened since I first started Straight From The Curls back in 2007.

Thankfully it's the August long weekend, and I've dedicated my time to write. Write for leisure first, and for work second. Ah! I can't tell you how good it feels just now. Just sitting here putting thoughts into words. I can feel myself de-stressing already. Do any of you ever experience that? When you finally find yourself doing something you love for leisure, and you feel all the worries, stress and absolute weight of life just slip away into the shadows? Even if only temporarily? Hmmm...

Since my last post (which was in the middle of June?!?! -- what?!), I've been dealt a couple of unsettling blows by life. But I know as I sit here and write this, that it could be worse. Work has been alright. Some days are better than others... especially because it's a new style of writing, for a new audience, with new demands. But I think I'm working it out. I miss my lifestyle and travel pieces terribly, but I'm continuing to freelance (as much as possible, anyway) for some of the magazines I've worked for, which I'm truly excited about.

I've also been reevaluating my life and the choices I've made to this point. I almost feel like I might have a different purpose... a different calling than what I'm up to these days. I just wish I had more clarity. Perhaps I should put those meditation lessons to some use, huh?

Also, on a side note, I think it's worth mentioning that when I was in Seoul at this time last year, I went to a restaurant where the waitress offered me a cup of Turkish coffee, and then told me she would do a psychic reading. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but as she was doing the reading, she asked me to promise her that I'd go visit my doctor. I just shrugged it off, and went on with my life. I now wish I'd listened to her sooner. Nothing to worry about... just a cautionary tale -- when a psychic makes you pinky promise to go see your doctor, you might want to take that little nugget of information a little more seriously.

In other news, I've also booked a short trip at the end of August to visit a friend in the States. It's really exciting, because it will be exactly a year to the day since we last saw each other. I can't wait! Expect a lot of travel posts from that visit!

Hope all is well with y'all!

xo





Image courtesy of Google Images

Luck be a pain in the...

"The more I think about things, the more I see no rhyme or reason in life. No one knows why some things work out and some things don't. Why some of us are lucky and some of us get..."

The quote featured above is from the movie Notting Hill. Now before you go off and laugh at my choice of reference, let me plead my case. That quote has been resonating in my mind for the past couple of weeks and after the events of this past Friday evening, it couldn't ring any truer.

I feel as though I'm on this ridiculous roll of bad luck... even though it's not a roll of any kind. It just... is. I always imagined - and to a certain extent believed - that we created our own luck; charted our own destiny. But I realize I'm wrong. Sometimes the way things work out really isn't up to you.

A few weeks back I was informed that a couple of positions became available at my previous place of work. A place I thought I could really thrive in. When I was there, I was told on numerous occasions that there would be no chance of me ever getting hired on full-time because of budget cuts and other issues. So I found another job at a company where I absolutely enjoy working right now.

And it's the first time in a long time that I realized there's truth in the saying, "It's all a matter of timing and good luck."

A lot of successful people will freely admit that they achieved their goals and dreams through hard work, determination, and a 'little' bit of luck. I'm realizing quickly that it's not just luck... it's a whole LOT of luck.

Then, while all this was mulling around in my mind, I spent the last week feeding my brain at this wonderful three-day conference in Toronto, where I had the chance to listen to 50 speakers from different walks of life. Including one Mr. Deepak Chopra, who reminded me about the importance of listening to my heart. And about the importance of self-reflection as well. I used to do this all the time when I was in university... but somewhere between searching for a career and figuring out how this whole 'being a grown-up business' works, I got lost. And to be honest, I feel pretty lost at the moment. I feel like I've lost balance, and I want to find my feet again.

And then, just when I thought I couldn't feel any worse about my life getting all tangled up in itself, I ended last week with my wallet being stolen on the subway.

Yep.

So you can imagine that right now, all I really want to do is look up to the heavens in an open field and scream, "Is that all you've got?!"

I'm frustrated. It seems like these days no matter what I do, I'm either too early or too late. I'd like to be where I need to be on time. Just once. I'd like to be able to say, "I'm going to spend Saturday rolling in my bed, watching movies"... and actually mean it, without having to run around trying to sort out the contents of my lost wallet.

I'd like...

And then I force myself to look at the bigger picture. Last week a young girl in Toronto went for a drive to sort our an errand. She made a regulated turn, and ended up killing a child crossing the street. She didn't plan for that to happen. It just happened. And now her life, and the lives of the families involved, will never be the same again.

The other day a man went out to watch game 7 of the Stanely Cup finals in Vancouver. The Canucks lost, and he ended up in a post-game riot. During this time, he tried protecting a car about to be torched, and ended up getting beaten up by the rioters. I bet he didn't see that coming when he left the house earlier in the day.

So you see where I'm going with this? I'm really starting to believe there's no real formula to this whole luck thing -- it just happens. Que sera sera. What will be will be. We can only do our best, and continue to have dreams, and make attempts at having them come true. But this business of who gets the sprinkles of fairy dust, and who doesn't... that part isn't really up to us.

Who decides...

... How two people can be born into the same family, and achieve different financial outcomes as adults?

... Whether you'll succumb to a disease, just because the genes that blended when your parents had you, are actually warring against each other in your body?

... That out of two plants planted in the same soil, mere inches apart, one will survive, and one will fail to grow?

... That even though you may dream of your future in one way... there might be a diffirent plan for you, that's out of your control?

... That no matter how cautiously you lead your life, you too can be caught in a freak accident?

So... who decides? Definitely not us.

I'm really trying to continue with my regular optimism. But some days, because of this whole 'being human' factor, it's pretty darn difficult. I'm struggling to embrace my mother's ability to have faith in fate. I don't want to become one of those people who looks back on her life and thinks, "I really wish I had... when I could..."

I'm really trying...

And as always, even though I'm a terrible Catholic, I'm going to turn to something here that my grade eight teacher always told me to say when I felt unsettled:

God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...
The courage to change the things I can...
And the wisdom to know the difference...

xo

Image courtesy of Google Images

Learning to balance

I can't believe I've only written one other blog post this month. I was doing so well! One of the hardest parts of adjusting to the new job has been balancing work and my life in general. I know it sounds cliché, but it's quite difficult to find a work/life balance when you start a new gig. And if you don't figure it out quickly, you'll find yourself in an unhealthy pattern of stress.

This isn't the first time I've had a full-time job, but it's the first time I've been delegated this much responsibility. I love it, but I need to learn to allow myself some down time as well. One of my favourite things to do in my down time is update this blog. Straight From The Curls is my baby, and I love coming here and sharing little anecdotes and stories from my life with you.

But because I spend my whole day on the computer dealing with another aspect of the WWW, I come home and crash. I have thoughts of coming here and talking to you all about what's running through my mind, but by the time I get home and unwind, all I want to do is hit the hay.

This has to change. And it will. I promise to sort myself out and figure out a balance somehow, so that I can do the things I love more often.

I've often wondered though, about people who do the 9-5, commute across the city, and still have the time and energy to come home and do so much more. By the time I come home, I barely have enough time to cook dinner before it's lights out.

I did some research this morning and discovered an article in the Vancouver Sun addressing this very issue. The work-life crunch: Who has time for fun? highlights how many people are struggling with the 'time economy'... especially as technology keeps us wired in for more and more hours each day.

I know in my case, I'm always online. I've been working with the Internet for quite a few years now, and I'm always tuned in to what's happening. I love the work I do.

But being so wired in all the time... it can get scary. I never get the sense that I'm 'unavailable'. I'm literally just a click away, whether by a phone call, text, e-mail, tweet or... poke.

Some of the statistics mentioned in the article state:

• The proportion of Canadians experiencing high levels of time crunch, according to the report, grew from 16 per cent in 1992 to 20 per cent in 2005. About 23 per cent of women felt time-pressured and 17 per cent of men.
  
  
• Adults providing care to seniors grew from 17 per cent in 1996 to 20 per cent in 2006. More women (23 per cent) took care of seniors compared to men (16 per cent).
  
  
• Time spent on social leisure activities dropped from 15 per cent in 1998 to 12 per cent in 2005.

I don't know if you'd agree with me, but I think these are some drastic increases in a short amount of time. So it begs the question: Am I really bad at balancing my work/life or am I just a victim of the times, and hence, a statistic?

I don't want to be a statistic, that's for sure. So my goal in the coming weeks is to find a solution that works for me. I'm not quite sure what that solution is at the moment, but I'm sure I'll figure it out. Plus it helps that the weather is getting nicer outside... it means I won't want to rush directly home after work. 

Anyway, if you have some tips to help me better manage my work/life situation, I'd love to hear them. What works for you, and how do you find time to do the things you love, outside of work?

xo

Image courtesy of Google Images

Things I learned in March

Well, it's the end of a very long month, and I'm exhausted. Drained. Could sleep for days. But before calling it a wrap for March, I feel the need to list 10 things I learned this month. So here we go.

1. I miss chocolate. I can't wait till the Easter bunny gets here.

2. A lot can happen in 31 days. The 1st of March looks very different from this angle. I need to remember this the next time I feel impatient.

3. I need to squeeze in some more Zzz's at night. Really. I can no longer spend every night with Conan.

4. Hashtags and Twitter are not the enemy. #TweetAsIfYourLifeDependsOnIt

5. After recently entering back into the PC world, I realize how much I love Macs. I wish PCs would have an 'all windows' function. #LifeWouldBeSoMuchEasier

6. Did I mention I miss chocolate?

7. I need to switch from coffee to herbal tea. It's my fuel but... #NoOneLikesTheShakes

8. Laughs come easily during reruns of How I Met Your Mother.

9. I'm over winter. #SeriouslyOverIt

10. I miss being able to wear my hair curly. Why won't it grow?!

Bonus thought: I miss life in analog.

Hey, remember Clip-art? It's been a while.

xo

Image courtesy of Google Images

Something gave

The big news:
Looks like I'll be an official addition to the wonderful world of web editors by this time next week. (I say 'official' because this gig doesn't involve the word 'freelance' or  even, well, 'free'.)

It took over six months of 'hanging in there' and doing what I could to keep myself in the game, to finally find a light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm really excited for this opportunity, and can't wait to see all of these skills I've acquired put to use. It seems fitting that I'd end up with a career involving the Internet somehow, doesn't it? But I kind of like it... I'm fascinated by the WWW and am constantly trying to keep up with the directions it's headed in.

So here's to a long and exhausting journey coming to an end. It's been great, but I'm looking forward to focusing on life in the present tense. I wonder what this new volume will have in store for me.

Stay tuned.

xo





Image courtesy of Google Images

Sleep and Shock

It's been a while since I've written a post like this, so please bear with me.

I can't quite recall the exact moment I became a night owl. I used to stay up a lot when I was in university, but that usually stemmed from studying or staying out with friends. It was never because I couldn't control it.

Then there were a few spells while I was in Korea. Weeks when external silence was deafening, and I had to turn up the music on my computer to full volume just so I could drown out the noise in my mind. But those moments came and went in spells... depending on what occupied my thoughts.

But since moving back to Toronto, I haven't been able to fall asleep before midnight. In fact, I find I'm staying up well into the early hours of the morning, not because I'm not tired (quite frankly, I'm exhausted), but because the noise is back.

I lay awake in bed and my mind just keeps going and going, and the thoughts just keep swirling into this vortex that causes my heartbeat to pick up speed instead of relax.

All sorts of thoughts -- about life in general, my family, friends... about the decisions I've made in my own life that have led me to this point. And I truly wish I could sit here and say I regret the recent choices I've made -- but I don't.

So why aren't I at ease?

Let me be honest here and say that I did imagine my life would be quite different at 25. In fact, I pictured myself in a very different place than I'm in right now. But I also know that life tends to take whatever plans you have and throws them off a cliff. What we're left to deal with instead, are curve-balls and twisted paths, and if we're lucky, we survive the journey until we reach a certain level of happiness.

But I also knew a long time ago that moving back to Toronto wouldn't be easy. I just never imagined that five months into it, I'd still be trying to sort things out. And this recession... gosh, am I ever tired of hearing that word. And I'm even more tired of it being the excuse of all that's messed up these days.

I've been brought up to have faith, and to never lose hope. I've often said that hope fuels humanity, and that without it, we can never move forward. And I have hope. In fact, these days, it feels like it's all I have. But really, is it enough?

I'm not a kook. I know I have to do my part to change my own life. I'm the captain of my own destiny and all that fun stuff. But sometimes... sometimes some things are just out of our hands. And I've learned that particular lesson especially over these past few months.

I've been on this mission since the start of the New Year to remain optimistic in all aspects of my life. But seven days into it and I'm exhausted. I can count 10 not-so-nice things that have happened since January 1st, and not one positive thing. (Pretty bad and unusual for a hopeless optimist, huh?)

But all I can do is keep on keeping on... and sit with hope and faith that perhaps these days will soon be a distant memory.

This post must come as a shock to a lot of you, dear readers. As I read it over, it's shocking me too. But this is also reality. And sometimes in reality, optimism is hard to come by.

xo

Life is Wonderful

One of my favourite songs by Jason Mraz -- "Life is Wonderful"
(performed live in South Korea)

"And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished"

2010 Wrap-up

A friend recently asked me to describe the year 2010 in one sentence. I thought it would take a long time to come up with one simple sentence to sum up an entire year -- I mean, so much has happened. But when I brought it down to a personal testament, I was shocked to find out it didn't take long at all.

'Rather bipolar, and pushing the limits on opposite ends of a very tested spectrum.'

That's the sentence that came to mind with regards to 2010. I was surprised because this seemed rather deep coming from me. But I think those words perfectly sum up the year that's been. I've had moments of such joy and happiness that I wished they'd lasted forever. And on the other end, I've experienced tests of absolute loneliness and sadness that I'd go to bed in hopes I'd wake up with a smile. I know this sounds dramatic. But I also know that I'm not alone in experiencing these feelings.

2010 has been a roller coaster of a year for a lot of us. We've all entered new chapters in our lives -- new jobs, new loves, new schools, new additions to the family and in some instances, new lives in new countries. Chapters filled with so much excitement and adrenaline, they make your heart want to leap out of your chest with joy.

Then by the same token, 2010 has also been a year of losses -- we've mourned the loss of family members, friends and pets, jobs and businesses, homes, and so much more. There's been so much heartache and sadness stemming from events that have certainly been tests of faith.

I'll admit that by the looks of it, this may seem no different from any other year. But it is, and I'll tell you why. 2010 marked the 10-year anniversary of the new millennium. People came into the 21st century with high hopes and great expectations. A lot of us started off the year 2000 with a 10-year plan. And 2010 came as a reality check to many people.

Over the course of the past year, many of us found ourselves faced with that pivotal moment where we had to ask one simple question:

'Am I where I thought I'd be 10 years ago?'

And the truth of the matter is that some of us are, and most of us aren't.

I mean, life changes on a dime. In most cases we go to bed believing one thing, and wake up the next morning to an entirely different set of truths. Imagine all that can change over the course of a decade. Imagine the different paths and roadblocks we've encountered. Imagine all the moments where we we're faced with forks in our journey.

'Do I go down the beaten path or create my own tracks in the snow?'

2010 was a year for reality checks, I think. My little cousin claimed this was a great year for her -- not only did she graduate from high school, but she also left home and went away to university. She's filled with such excitement, and I adored the hope and stars in her eyes.

A friend is is looking forward to 2011 because she's finally finished 'educating' herself. 'I'm done studying,' she proclaimed. 'These past 10 years were spent in libraries, labs and classrooms. I'm glad this decade is done!'

Needless to say she has high hopes for the decade ahead, and I wish her the best in her endeavours.

As for me, well, I capped off the decade with a year abroad. I tested my limits and pushed the boundaries I'd created for myself. I felt I was able to meet parts of my soul that I'd keep suppressed for a long time. I was blessed with the gift of travel and met some amazing people along those journeys -- each who has left their own unique imprint on my grateful heart.

Moving back to Toronto was a test in and of itself. I've encountered more difficulties over the past few months than I ever imagined possible. I've been tried, tested, torn apart, and pieced back together. If I learned anything by coming back it's that no matter how far you run away from your problems, they'll sit patiently and anticipate your return. But I'm hanging in there. If I've got anything on my side, it's my stubbornness and resolve to make things work.

(Notice how this has been a bipolar kind of year yet?)

Someone once said, 'You can never really go back home.' And I guess they were right because going away and coming back has been a shock to the system.

But here's the thing -- Toronto never really was my home. I've spent years in this city just existing. And my year away made me realize just how much I enjoy living. And I'd like to make an attempt at living in this city.

Of course I don't think I'm anywhere close to satiating my love for travel. That's the one absolute joy I won't let anyone take away from me -- but everyone needs a place to call their own. Perhaps Toronto is it for me? I suppose it's worth finding out, right?

So here I am entering a new year. A new decade. A new chapter. (Because as much as we may debate it, a new year is like a fresh page. And when you're given a fresh page, you better find a unique way to leave your mark.)

Here's hoping my romance with Toronto soars in 2011.

And as for you, dear readers, I'd like to share some of Charlie Brown's pearls of wisdom for a happy new year. Take them as you will:

Peppermint Patty: It's been a great year, Chuck. You'll have to admit that. What you do think, Chuck, would be good rules for living in the new year?

Charlie Brown: Keep the ball low, don't leave your crayons in the sun, use dental floss every day, don't spill the shoe polish, always knock before entering, don't let the ants get in the sugar, never volunteer to be a program chairman, always get your first serve in, and feed your dog whenever he's hungry.

Peppermint Patty: Will those rules give me a better life, Chuck?

Charlie Brown: The better life, and a fat dog.

____________

I wish we never run out of hope. I wish we always have reasons to laugh until we cry. I wish all of us peace, security, good health, and the kind of love that starts in our toes, sizzles up through our bodies, and pours out of our hearts.

I leave you with one of my favourite quotes and a simple pinch of inspiration to start the New Year right.


See you in 2011. Cheers!


xo
SC

Image courtesy of Google Images

Top 5 posts of 2010

One of my greatest joys with Straight From The Curls is that it acts as a virtual diary to my life. Coming here and jotting down thoughts not only allows me to share my experiences with you, but it also gives me a chance to revisit these thoughts at a later date and time. For someone who tends to be rather introspective, this is quite helpful, and on many occasions it's been rather healing as well.

Since moving back to Toronto I've had a lot of time to sit back and read posts from the past year. I've had a chance to relive my exciting rendez-vous with Asia. More often than not, the posts always put a smile on my face, and I have moments where I think, "Yea, that really did happen!"

So in the spirit of celebration and reminiscing about the year that's been, here are my top 5 posts of 2010.

____________

5. Gumption - I wrote this post in January 2010. Obviously lulling in a low moment and in search of inspiration. And I was just getting into Mad Men at this point, so I was quite fascinated with the women at the Sterling Cooper Draper Price ad agency, and with the way they carried themselves. I still am. We could all use a healthy dose of some good, old-fashioned gumption! I'm glad I was reminded of this.

4. The world in my shoebox - My best friends in Seoul came from all over the world. This post is a reflection of my relationship with all of them, and about how we came to be friends. I will always be grateful to Korea because my experiences there gave me a wonderful group of international friends who I know I'll always be able to count on.

3. Finding my smile in the Land of Smiles - Written after a two-week romance with Thailand. I fell in love with the country, and long to go back there someday. This post is a reflection of my experiences in the Land of Smiles, as we backpacked through a handful of cities. The trip was therapeutic and came at a very pivotal time in my life.

2. Beauty, V and Me - This was an eye-opening moment for me in Korea. I wrote this post out of frustration and shock, and with hopes that people would stumble across it and learn from my experiences. My middle school students taught me a lesson in beauty, and about which traits they considered beautiful in women. Needless to say, very few of them believed the old adage that 'beauty comes from within.' This post outlines my experiences with this shock -- how I learned about it, how I dealt with it, and how I hope it will change in the future.

1. Love always wins - This is my first choice for the top 5 posts of 2010. Those of you who've become familiar with Straight From The Curls will probably agree with me when I say I've got a strange relationship with the word 'love'. There's posts on here about good love, bad love, healthy love, and downright painful love. But this post was a bit of an epiphany for me. It documents a couple of conversations I had in Seoul about the topic -- one with my teenage student, and one with a bar owner in Seoul's western neighbourhood of Itaewon.

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So there you have it -- my top 5 posts of 2010. I chose all of them from my experiences in Korea, because I was there until September of this year. Do you have a favourite post from the past year? If you do, please don't hesitate to share it with me. I'd love to hear about it.

Till next time, Cheers!

xo
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Old and New Resolutions

Last year my friends and I decided not to make New Year's resolutions. Instead, we each wrote something we wanted to let go of on a small piece of paper, and at midnight (after a round of kisses and celebration), we went out into the streets of Seoul, Korea and burnt the papers.

I'd never done that before, nor had I thought of coming up with a resolution in such a way.

The dictionary defines a resolution as 'the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.' Resolving to do (or not do something).

In the past, my resolutions always involved something that was going to happen. I would resolve 'to lose weight'. I would resolve 'to drink less caffeine'. I would resolve 'to not stress about the small stuff'. I would resolve 'to be more happy.'


As you can imagine, a very small percentage of these resolutions actually lasted... or even made it past the first month. So this idea of switching gears and actually doing something that was almost passé in a way, seemed very appealing. Who doesn't like the idea of resolving to do something that's already been done?

Now that the year is almost over, I can tell you what I wrote on that little piece of paper that went up in smoke at the stroke of midnight, on January 1, 2010. It said,

'I am letting go of baggage that's become too heavy to carry around. I'm letting go of those that bring negativity in my life, and those that make me feel negative about myself. Enjoy 2009, because this is as far as you go on your journey with me.'

I can't express how therapeutic it felt when I lit that little paper and saw it go up in flames. If you're a visual person like me, you'll understand how powerful it felt knowing that moving forward, I'd have the freedom to walk past the negative stressors in my life -- ones that I'd initially welcomed with open arms.

The year started with a clean sweep. I had to go through a mental checklist of the people in my life who were taking more than they were giving, and using more than they were offered. I knew a lot of them had to go.

And they did, in one way or another. I started seeing less of certain people, edited my e-mail contact list, minimized my phone list and deleted a bunch of people from Facebook -- and the timing was great, because I used to get irritated at the thought of people who I didn't really have great relationships with in the past, having access to my world (parts of it, anyway), without having direct communication with me. (Why do people do that? Add you to Facebook, but never say a word? -- Automatic delete within a week at best.)

I won't say it's been easy. I've had numerous moments where I've failed at keeping my resolution. I've had moments of weakness where I've let the worst stressors get the best of me. (What can I say, I'm a victim to words -- use them with the right formula and in the right context and I'm a lost cause.)

But, as the year progressed, I had my necessary epiphanies and they too were gone. And it feels like I did the right thing. When someone (or many someones) bring out the worst in your character and make you feel more miserable than they bring you joy... then it's time to reevaluate their place in your life. I learned that valuable lesson this year.

In that respect, 2010 has been good. It's not been short of difficulties, but it's been good. I feel like I'm in a better place in my life than I've been in the past, and I'm grateful for the people who are still with me to share in this journey.

It's time to think of something I'll be leaving behind in 2010. This might take some thought, so I'll keep you posted on what comes up.

The goal is to lighten my baggage as I move forward through life. And, dear readers, I invite you to do the same. What do you need to let go of? And what steps should you take to ensure this happens?

xo
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Image courtesy of Google Images

Sunday Song

I've spent the past few Sundays being a homebody. I've baked, decorated, slept, ready books and spent some quality time with my family and friends. In the hustle and bustle of everything that's happened since moving back to Toronto, I never imagined that this would be the exact prescription needed to get through my severe case of reverse culture shock.

I've reconnected with friends... or rather, established a new degree of comfort with friends who know me the best. It's a great feeling, and in the spirit of the season, I am counting each of my blessings.

2010 has been quite the melange of a year, filled with travels, love, heartbreak, life lessons and about a gajillion reasons to smile. I'm grateful for the experiences that forced me to grow up, and thankful for the moments that were so precious, I wished they'd last forever.

Despite the pitiful state of the economy, I take comfort in knowing I've chosen the career track that's right for me, and I know (and hope) that someday, I too will get my turn in to bathe in sunlight.

I was going through the photos on my computer this afternoon and stumbled across a few that I'd forgotten about. The discoveries really made me smile and I wanted to share them with you.

This series of photos takes me from January 2010, right to my first month back in Toronto.

I took this photo before heading down to purchase my ticket to Thailand. I left on my two week trip a month later. This was the most snow Seoul had seen in over 70 years. I wasn't prepared for it, and as you can see, neither were the people who'd lived there their whole lives.

This is a photo of the floor in my favourite café in Seoul - Café Da Vinci. It's Robert Frost's poem 'The Road Not Taken'. I love this poem and it seeing it was a constant reminder of my journey through Korea, and about the changes that took place in my life.

This photo was taken during the second leg of my trip through Thailand. We took a boat trip around Ayutthaya, and I saw this boat... with a room for rent. I wish I'd seen what it looked like inside.

This pirate... erm, I mean waiter worked at Bora Bora restaurant on Kho Phi Phi. He was quite an interesting character. A waiter by day and a fire twirler by night. I imagine he's thinking 'arrrrgh' in this photo!

This photo exemplifies life on Kho Phi Phi - relaxation at its best. Cats slept like this all around the island. I later found out it's because of heat exhaustion. Who knew?!

About a month after I got back from Thailand, the weather changed dramatically, and the cherry blossoms came out. This is a view of the street I lived on. It was such a pretty sight, and I loved my walks. The blossoms only lasted for a couple of weeks.

This photo was taken in Hampyong, Korea, during the city's annual butterfly festival. I love how happy she is. The sun was out, and everyone at this festival just seemed to be having such a fabulous time. Quite the stretch from the atmosphere back in Seoul.

I can't remember if this photo was taken in Insadong, Seoul, or in Busan. Regardless, I loved the message and the fact that it was so prominently placed the shopping centre. Words to live by.

This is another photo taken in Hampyong. I guess the timing was perfect. I love the older kid's reaction. The little boy had a blown up baton, but the look the older kid's face would let you believe it was steel.

Finally, in Busan, during one of the last trips I took while in Korea. I love that the guy being buried is STILL on his cellphone, and isn't fazed that his friend is making his body into that of a woman's.... A well endowed woman, it seems.

September in Toronto... the seasons had changed. Summer flowers gave way to colourful autumn leaves, and I was back to experience it all. I believe I was a lot more optimistic about my life back then.

This was one of my favourite photos taken in the fall. This tree was in the woods by my house, and I had a lovely view of it from my balcony. It was great watching the leaves change, and then eventually fall, as the season gave way to winter.

And there you have it. 12 random photos that have brought me to where I am right now. 2010 has been quite the year. But to be honest, I'm ready to pack it up and put it on the shelf. Bring on 2011.

xo
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Write words, right time

I love quotes. There's something to be said about finding the perfect blend of words that speak to you in a particular time and place. Sometimes, a few choice words woven together can change perspective and really open a person's mind to life and the infinite possibilities within it.

I tend to think of quotes as some kind of free therapy -- specific words that let you know you're not alone in your experience. That someone else has been there, and perhaps gotten through it... whatever 'it' might be.

Here are some lovely woven words that currently speak to me.

~*~

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~*~

~*~

xo
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Trust me on the sunscreen...

Seems like we have a theme for the blog these days. So in the spirit of things, here's Baz Luhrman's Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen).

Enjoy!



xo
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25 lessons I've learned in 25 years

Every day is a new opportunity to stumble, make mistakes, learn and grown from them. And I hope that in my time on this planet so far, I've done just that. I know I'm not perfect, nor do I want to be. I seek to find beauty and peace through my imperfections, and in those that surround me.

Here are 25 lessons I've learned in my 25 years on this planet. There's definitely a lot more than 25 overall (I hope), but these are the ones that stand out in the maze that is my mind, on this particular night.


1. Love (and lust) can make you do some pretty silly things.

2. Even when you think you've been dealt a bad hand, there's someone out there who has it a lot worse.

3. Telemarketers don't want to call you. They have to call you. So be kind, even if you're not interested in what they're selling.

4. Hope fuels humanity. This is a good thing. A very good thing.

5. Always keep an open mind. You will have the best experiences in your life if you do.

6. First impressions say a lot. Do give people a second chance, but never forget how you first felt around them.

7. The Blue Marble that we live on is fabulous! Take every opportunity to wander, seek and embrace all aspects of our gorgeous and giving planet.

8. Being alone is good. Silence is good. Learn to listen to yourself when you're alone and silent. You'll be surprised by what you discover.

9. Never settle for quantity over quality.

10. Be kind and forgiving. Mostly to yourself.

11. Express love in some form every day.

12. Life is short and unpredictable, so make the most of every day and learn to live without regrets.

13. Don't mess with karma. Even if you don't believe in it.

14. There's healing powers in the human touch. A simple look, hug or kiss can completely change one's perspective.

15. Language is only a barrier if you let it be. Even if you don't speak the same language, you can always find other ways to communicate.

16. Time is not linear. It's true that some days feel longer than others, and sometimes time seems to speed up. I can't prove this, but I believe it.

17. You have to take responsibility for your own actions in this lifetime.

18. If you intentionally set out to hurt others, you are not a good person. No matter how much you try to justify your actions.

19. It is important to believe in a higher power. There is no way we can marvel in the beauty that is our world without believing there is a force much greater than us at work.

20. Real life can't mimic the movies, but movies can mimic real life. You just have to remind yourself of this every time you get caught up in a chick-flick.

21. It's a sad truth, but there are more Daniel Cleavers, Wickhams and Mr. Collins' in this world than there are Mr. Darcys.

22. Nothing beats a glass of cold water on a hot summer day. Nothing beats a hot beverage on a chilly winter night.

23. Smile. Just smile.

24. Warm, fuzzy feelings that swell in the depths of your soul may not come by often in your life... so when they do, embrace them and make the best of them.

25. Mark Twain was on to something when he said the following:

"Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

xo
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Image courtesy of Google Images

Year in a Dream

My brother, having experienced what I'm going through (twice), checked in on me the other day.

"What's it like in there?" he asked, pointing to my head.

I was watching TV when he came by, and was confused by his question.

"Huh?"

"How are you feeling about being back?" he asked.

I hadn't really thought about it. I'd been home a few days at this point, and nothing about the whirlwind that was the past 365 days had sunken in yet.

"I don't know," I responded, not looking away from the TV. "It feels the same I guess... nothing has changed."

And that was the truth. Nothing had changed. My environment and everything around me was the same as I'd left it a year ago. Parts of me felt as if the past year didn't happen. Yet, it did.

"It feels like a dream, you know?" I elaborated. "Because I'm getting back into this familiar routine as if nothing happened... but I know it did. I feel like I might have been asleep for a year. Kind of like reality, but on pause."

He smiled knowingly, happy to see that I finally understood what he'd experienced in the past.

I knew the last year had happened, because the memories, photos, permanent reminders and writings spoke of it. Yet the only way to describe it to anyone who asked, was to liken it to a dream.

I explained this to my friend A, who, having spent a year in New Zealand, knew exactly what I was talking about. She mentioned going through the same experience. It feels good having people around who get it -- this bizarre sense of having lived another life while in a dreamlike state.

Hopefully I'll be back to 100 per cent in a few days so I can start working on my life in Toronto.

xo
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Quarter century "gifts"

25 has not gotten off to a good start. I mean, it's taken off with a bang, but just not in the right direction.

In the past couple of weeks, I've been battling an awful eye infection (still, going on week three), I've moved my life across the planet (in two suitcases), and I've started adjusting to life in Toronto -- all while nursing an awful case of jet-lag.

I'd imagine that just dealing with one of these things at a time would be exhausting. I have no idea how I've been juggling it all. I should probably credit the random bursts of energy that surge through my body during the course of the day. They're really bizarre... but it's during those moments that I get the most work done.

In the midst of all these mini-crisis' I've been sans laptop. Which means, I've not had access to the computer as much as before. I hope this will all change within the next 24 hours.

In the meanwhile, apologies for not writing as frequently as before. As you can imagine, there's a shift happening, and I'm at the mercy of my limitations. For now.

Will have more glamourous updates soon!

xo
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May days

Apologies for not posting as frequently in the past weeks. I have no excuses other than the fact that I've become consumed with the daily happenings here in Korea.

Needless to say, it's been an interesting month on many levels. I made some decisions this week that might later change certain aspects of my life. It took me a long time to come to these decisions... but I think sometimes, all we need is one moment of clarity to finally just do it. And I'm glad I did.

One of these decisions involves what I plan to do once I'm back in Toronto. All I know is that I want to continue writing. It's the one thing that I take comfort in, and it's certainly a creative outlet. It's stressful to think that I might struggle to get back into the industry, but I'm willing to battle it out. They say if you want something badly enough, you should just keep chasing it, right? I just hope I don't have to chase for too long.

A bright spot in Korea is that one of my articles got published in a magazine. I'd submitted a story about my trip to India in 2008, and Speakeasy magazine in Seoul featured it in their May/June issue. I'm pretty proud of it, as they also included a link to the blog in it.

As the weather's been warming up, I've been spending a lot of time in parks and along the riverside in Seoul. Though not nature in its truest form, (Seoul's a city with manmade landscapes built into it), I've enjoyed walking through the trails and finding moments of serenity among chaos.

The photo above was taken on Buddha's Birthday as we celebrated with a picnic along the Han river in Seoul. It's the Seoul skyline with Namsan Tower in the distance on the far right. The bright glow above the city is a result of light pollution. Still, it's a beautiful sight, isn't it? Yeoinaru park along the Han has to be one of my favourite spots in Seoul, by far.

The above shot was taken at Seoul's Olympic Park. We spent a rainy saturday wandering aimlessly through the park's trails and hidden gems... one of which was this beautiful stream. Everything looked so lush and green -- it truly reminded me of Goa's scenery during the monsoons. It's definitely another one of my favourite spots, and I know I'll be frequenting it a lot, as my time in Seoul draws to a close. I feel a sense of comfort around Olympic Park's landscape.

Other than that, life goes on. Watching the news is pretty stressful these days, as the North and South continue to blame each other and make threats. I've often said that I don't know how to feel about all this... more fear or less anxiety. In any case, I'm taking my cue from the citizens of Korea and trying to maintain a sense of calm. No use stressing over something out of my control, right?

Until then, I'll continue to wander through my favourite haunts in the city, enjoying solace and the hidden gems in this country I've called home for the past year.

xo

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