Resilience

I spent some much needed quality time with a couple of my girlfriends this past Saturday. Is there anything better for the soul than easy laughter over brunch with forever friends?

We don't see each other a lot these days, so when we do get together, it's always well appreciated. The conversations focused around the usual topics -- what we'd been up to since we last got together, men, our families, men, women, our upcoming plans, men... and reminders.

F decided to get tattooed on Saturday. She had been mulling over the idea and placement of it for a long time, but after finally having made up her mind on the 'where' and 'what' she decided the 'when' had to be on Saturday. So after a day of shopping and gossiping, we found ourselves on Yonge Street, in the friendliest Tattoo parlour I'd ever been in.

F told me a while back that she wanted the word "Resilience" tattooed in script on her body.

"Why not 'Resilient'?" I asked. "Wouldn't that be better?"

"Well, I'm not resilient. It's something I have to remind myself to try and be everyday," she said.

And after having listened to some stories from F's life, I couldn't think of a more perfect word for her to meditate on.

Resilience.

Ten letters joined together to connote so many different visuals and ideas.

Life expects us to be resilient, but no living thing can fully say they are, can they? Resilience is something we have to strive for. Plants and animals have to strive for resilience against the elements. And if they survive, they become resilient -- but just through that particular storm. If another one comes along, they have to strive for resilience again... and again... and again.

It's the same way with humans too -- we have to strive for resilience through the elements and physical forces. But there's also resilience from emotional and mental pitfalls. Battles that were fought long ago can leave unseen scars which, for some people, need to be dealt with everyday. These scars can affect our everyday life, our choices, our paths. But striving for resilience helps us get through, whether it's one day at a time, or one hour at a time.

If we simply turn on the news these days, we're reminded of what a mess our world is in. The recession is destroying families and businesses, earthquakes and tsunamis are causing havoc, and man-made wars are hurting civilians in so many countries.

And in between all the headlines we read "...but the people of Japan are resilient. They will get through this." Or "Libya is one of the most resilient nations in the world." Or even "This recession has made people resilient..."

The thing is... they're not. They're striving for resilience. They're fighting battles they didn't ask to be in. They've been dealt these cards and now they're trying to cope. They're trying to be resilient.

Resilience isn't something that comes with the click of a button... it's something we have to hope for. It's something we have to strive for.

Resilience is fueled by the hope that we can get through. That someday, everything will be OK.

xo

Image courtesy of Google Images

Circle in the Sand

... because this is barely the beginning.

As my journey in the RoK draws to a close, I'm starting to reflect on my time here. So much has happened in the span of this past year - both, positive and negative - yet, I can't help but hope that I'll always look back on this experience and smile.

These past few weeks have been spent preparing for and working at an English summer camp. I've been teaching middle school boys for the first time in my life, and it's been quite the experience. For one thing, I've learned that boys are more forgiving than girls. If I scold a male student for being disruptive in class, the next day he'll forget all about it and go back to his regular self. If I scold a female, however, she's guaranteed to hold a grudge for the remainder of her classes with me. It's a woman thing -- I just never realized we started at such a young age.

Almost every close friend I've made in Seoul will be heading back to their respective homes by the end of August. The thought of not seeing these women on a regular basis (as for the past year) is quite saddening. There's something to be said about choosing people to be part of your family. Yes, I say family because that's pretty much what they've become for me. Almost every experience, emotion and thought has been shared with them, and I can't imagine going back to a life that won't directly include them. Thank heavens for technology! It's a bit soothing for the spirit knowing that they'll simply be a phone call or message away. Another bonus is that no matter where I find myself in the next few years, I know I'll always have someone to visit!

On another note, I find it rather fitting that my favourite book will be released as a movie, just a couple of weeks before I head home. I became steadfast about coming to Korea after reading "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. Before that, I wavered a lot, unsure if the experience would be right for me. After reading the book I began to understand how important it is to take risks in life and enjoy each moment we experience, whether good or bad. It became a reminder I'd turn to, every time I felt lost. It seems almost fortuitous that the movie comes out on August 13th. I hope you all have a chance to check it out!

I have a couple of trips planned for the few weeks I have left. After I finish working at the English camp this week, I'll be heading out with a couple of friends to explore the Southern coast of the country. We don't have a big itinerary planned, but the joys of traveling with these women is that they have wandering spirits just like me. Aside from a few key hot spots, we plan on simply exploring as we stumble. I'm pretty excited about it.

On a final note, I have some terrific blog news! StraightFromTheCurls has been selected as one of the top 10 blogs in Korea by GO! Overseas. Be sure to check out their site if you're interested in traveling, working, studying or volunteering abroad. It's laid out very well, and there's tons of interesting articles to help you with any questions you may have.

xo
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Your roots will follow

It's always nice to remember where you came from, even if you're not sure where you're going.


My lovely aunt sent me the sweetest e-mail greeting today. I mentioned her in a post I wrote after visiting India in 2008. She's in her mid-70's and still managed to find the perfect e-greeting for this random Saturday message. Her tech-savvy-ness is beyond impressive!

There was no purpose or special occasion for the greeting. She just wanted to say that she was thinking of me, and that she was proud of me. I was pretty taken aback, as I wasn't expecting to hear from her until my birthday. Her words were like sweet poetry -- something that I've always known comes very naturally to her. My aunt knows just what to say and when. I love listening to her and reading her letters.

In a few short sentences she reminded me of all that I've overcome in life, and of all that she hopes for my future. As I lay on my bed while the rain hit the pavement outside, I couldn't help but feel absolutely guilty. I think about her often and I miss her a lot. I'm not sure why I haven't stayed in touch. It's not like I don't have the time. I guess I just wasn't thinking. As soon as I'm done this post I will be writing to her. But before that, I should mention one thing that came up in the message.

"When will the experiences of your Goa trip materialize?" she asked.

I wasn't sure what she meant when I read the question at first. But after spending the afternoon thinking about it, I remembered something. During my short visit with her, she was keen on me writing a series of articles about a pressing issue in Goa at the moment -- a beautiful post-colonial state that's being exploited by tourists with a lot of money, and a government that's more keen on pleasing them, rather than preserving the rich culture and heritage that makes Goa so unique from the rest of India.

I never did end up writing those articles. But now I feel the need to do.... something.

I've been keeping updated on the changes, however I'm no longer a citizen of India. I haven't been for a very long time. Still, as you know, fragments of my heart are floating along the Arabian coast and memories of Goa cease to disappear with time. Though I'm not physically present, my roots extend from that small, coastal state. I'll always be tied to it, regardless of where I end up on this planet. I mean, here I am, in Seoul, Korea, thinking of a country I lived in as child. I only spent three weeks in the state as an adult, but I remember the distinct changes in the landscape, the priorities and most of all, in the environment.

My aunt is an active member in the community. Despite age and dwindling health, she still finds the strength to wake up each morning and trudge to the capital city and work for the causes she believes in. A critical one that she's involved in is empowering women in local villages to educate themselves and stand up for their rights. This is a big deal, as a lot of women in rural parts of the state still live with the old mindset that they simply go from being daughters and sisters to wives and mothers. And, should the unfortunate occur and their husbands pass away, they confine themselves to their houses and wait their turn to dive into the great abyss.

She really does amaze me. I'm grateful to her as she's the link to my roots. My aunt reminds me of where I came from -- of my ancestors and history. She sees purpose in my existence and believes that I can enforce change. I'm flattered, but I hope an idea or opportunity surfaces soon.

Looks like it's time to put on my thinking hat.

As Winnie the Pooh says, "Think, think, think..."

Love you, aunty M!

xo
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Image courtesy of Google Images

Bidding 'adieu' to the Ox

I think I've come up with a list of rules for 2010 and beyond.

A friend and I were trying to figure out what the new decade will be called. We had the Eighties, the Nineties, and most recently, the '00s (or, as the friend called it, 'the Noughties'...). So we wondered about the upcoming decade... 'the Tennies'? Anyone?

Anyway, first on the list is...

LESS use of the word "maybe". Seriously, I am sick of this word, and people who use it on a regular basis. I think the "maybe" option on invites (or, if we're getting with the times, evites) should be eliminated. The "maybe" option on the brink of an important question should also be axed. Remember the days when, if you wrote out a question, the only options were "check YES or NO"? People should be forced to choose one side of the coin or the other. I think the only time a "maybe" should be allowed (around me, anyway) is if it's included with a cheeky grin or a wink... yea, you know what I'm talking about!

Next, I am planning on physically de-cluttering my life. In a wholesome sense. A lot of people may wonder why I'm announcing this on here, but I feel that if I don't acknowledge it in a visual sense, I'll never do it.

MORE endorphins. Seek them, embrace them, allow them, and use them. Endorphins are a wonderful thing.

If and when the universe throws me a sign, I have to do my best to follow it... even if the little devil on my shoulder is telling me otherwise. If by chance I don't... I should try to at least give it some thought before saying "hmmm... I think I'll take the other route!" Less impulsive behaviour is important here.

MORE impulsive behaviour... generally speaking.

Find MORE reasons to write and LESS reasons to think myself in circles.

GO. WITH. THE. FLOW... and let life happen. Acknowledge the bumps and treasure the movement.

Finally (but certainly not last or least on the list), learn to embrace and live in the moment. Things in life do happen for a reason. And if, at the time, the moment doesn't make sense, all I have to do is get through it, because in getting through, I will have learned a lesson. And that's something to be thankful for.

I think that's enough ranting for 2009, don't you agree? It's time to chill the bubbly in anticipation of a fabulous year ahead of us!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, 2010, dearest readers!

I wish you abundant peace and beautiful moments in life, filled with everything your hearts long for. It's been a joy writing for you this year. I promise to keep up in 2010, if you promise to keep visiting.

To readers in the east, enjoy the lunar eclipse on new year's eve. And to my readers out west, have fun under the blue moon!

Cheers!

I found this photo on Google Images by searching "What a wonderful world!"
Appropriate, I think!

xo
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Image courtesy of Google Images

Gift wrap 2009

As 2009 begins to take its final bow, I can't help but sit and wonder of all that's transpired in my life since January. To say this year has been a roller-coaster ride would be an understatement. Looking back to the earlier months, I never would have imagined I'd find myself spending Christmas in Seoul, Korea... writing this entry in a staffroom filled with teachers who continue to glance (very obviously) over my shoulder as I type. Hi, Mr. S!

I've endured a lot this year, but I've learned more. The lessons have come as a result of peculiar situations and odd circumstances, but, having made it through, I feel as though I can now sit back and reflect.

I remember stressing out in January about starting my internship with the CBC. I didn't think it would actually happen, but working with the News at Six team was an experience I'm glad I had. There's nothing quite like working in a breaking newsroom, where the gun is held to your head everyday, to have your stories in... yesterday. I had a chance to move fast and learned more than I ever imagined I would. I met some wonderful people who I know I'll be in touch with for a long time to come.

The following months were spent at the magazine -- definitely not what I expected it to be. I was blessed with editors who looked after me and were truly concerned about my well-being in the industry. I was fortunate to be offered some wonderful advice from professionals who I consider not only mentors, but friends. Though it was difficult at times, I don't regret it for a moment, because I know I grew through that experience. Working at the magazine also allowed me to focus on my style of writing more, and I now know the direction I'd like to head in... you'll hear more about this in 2010, I assure you. Sit tight.

The last quarter of 2009 brought me to Seoul, Korea. Who would have thought? They say everything in life happens for a reason, and, without a doubt, I can say that I was meant to be here, at this time. Despite the difficulties, there's something serendipitous about the whole experience. I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I'm sure it will come to me one day.

There's something to be said about fate, isn't there? It's been so surreal meeting people from all across the globe, and forming friendships that feel as though they're antiques -- precious and old. I've met many wonderful people from all corners of the planet, each with their own wonderful and unique gifts that have come as blessings into my life. It's hard to imagine that I've only known some of them for a few months... and it's even harder to fathom that one day, not too long from now, I'll have to say goodbye to them as we each scuttle off to our own neck of the woods. But rest assured, these will be life-long friends.

One of the main things this journey has taught me so far, is that we live on a very small planet. Truly... mobility is so easy these days, with all the options available. And what's even more amazing is the fact that technology has brought us closer than ever. Actually, this is also quite scary. I suppose it depends on how you look at it.

All I'm saying is that I'm grateful to Skype, Facebook, Hotmail, Gmail, snail mail, cellphones and text messages for allowing me to stay in touch with those I love and care about. This journey might have been quite different otherwise, I think.

Along the way, I think this has been one of the biggest years in terms of personal growth, trials and achievements. I'm fortunate to have a dear family who have been nothing but a constant support to me, and friends who have stood by and been the best cheerleaders and entertainers a girl could ever ask for.

So this quick note is for you, dear readers and people in my life...

I'm thankful to

those of you who make me think
those of you who tell me to stop thinking
those of you who insist I think a little harder
those of you who put dirty thoughts into my mind
those of you who make me laugh till I cry
those of you who insist I try everything at least once
those of you who make me take risks
those of you who see what's past the surface
those of you who've broken down the wall
those of you who let me vent
those of you who share your stories with me
those of you who I've shared unbelievable coffee dates with
those of you who I've shared eye-opening conversations with
those of you who've made me feel like a million bucks
those of you who let me be me

... but mostly, I'm thankful to those of you who are active participants in my life right now. I'm looking forward to spending and sharing an amazing 2010 with you.


xo
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Image courtesy of Dreamstime Stock

A bright spot

I saw this on another blog and couldn't help but share. It echoes my thoughts and sentiments at this very momement in time, as I find myself on the other side of the world, away from comforts and routine.

I hope you take something away from it as well.

xo

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Image courtesy of A Life  More Fabulous - Quote by Eve Ensler, as published in Glamour magazine's Dec '09 issue

A drop by

I met someone yesterday who pretty much summed up my thoughts on technology and computers. By now you're all aware that I admire the leaps made in the world of online communication and wireless connections.

However, even though I admittedly am part of this, there's something going absolutely wrong in our society, as we begin to place more and more emphasis on social networking.

Take for instance this conversation I had last night. I was talking to someone who is embedded in the world of technology and communications and I admitted to him that admired the work 'his people' did. 

Having recently been forced to learn about html and coding myself, I was talking to him about how fascinating it is that when you take all these social networking sites apart, all that's left are triangle brackets ( < ) and a bunch of letters and numbers that, when put together, create some of the most graphically appealing websites out there.

Then he said something to me that I never expected to come out of of someone who has chosen to be a key part of this industry.

He said he wasn't too big on the leaps being made in the fast-paced IT world. I was surprised, so I asked if he could elaborate.

"Well, I sort of just showed up at my friend's place the other night," he said. "I just kind of wanted to see him, so I decided to stop by."

I wondered where this was going, so I waited for him to continue.

"He was surprised," he stated, plainly. "I didn't e-mail him or Facebook message him or anything to warn him that I was going to show up, so he thought it was strange."

Interesting, huh?

"I didn't think it was that big of a deal," he continued. "I mean, isn't that what people did, before all these forms of announcements came up?"

The man knew what he was talking about. What's happening to our society if when people decide to make fact-to-face connections, it's a cause for alarm?

The interesting thing is that the person was a good friend of this man.

It's worrisome, really. As the years go by, we're starting to spend so much more time in front of the computer, and, as a result, our social and personal communication skills are starting to suffer.

Has it really come to this? That people cannot approach each other at social gatherings, unless they've had some form of a textual connection before?

I can only imagine what 5 years from now will look like. And I hope it just stays in my imagination.

xo
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I'm cleaning out my...

... Network.

It was cool back when I was in high school. Even during those few years in university. I enjoyed seeing my list of friends grow and span across my various classes. I loved seeing my social circles crisscross. I loved seeing how many mutual friends I had with each person. I'll admit that sometimes I even secretly enjoyed that the random guy who sat quietly at the back of the class took the initiative to look me up on the Internet, and add me as one of his very own friends.

But now, it's gotten out of hand.

I can't stand that there's so many people who know my business! Before (and I'm still talking about my generation, not my mothers), there were times when people actually had to e-mail or pick up the phone to find out what was going on. It took effort and it took initiative. It meant that you actually gave a damn about the person you were taking the time to talk to.

Now, if you go on an adding spree and add every person you've know from grade school and high school and university and college and work and the street and even from that shady club you don't want to admit ever having been to.... if all these people become your "friends" in social-networking-land... they're all going to know everything that you're up to... without you even so much as batting an eyelash in their direction.

Kind of creepy, isn't it? I think so.

So I continued on my cleaning frenzy. It took me over two hours to do it and as a result I probably have carpal tunnel syndrome... but I managed to delete every public message written to me on my "wall," since 2006. There were over 2,500 in total. I can't believe I let it add up to so much. What was I thinking? Anyway, it's all gone.

Then, as soon as I could bring myself back to my computer, I worked on the "friends list."

Now, I've been shortlisting this one since the summer. But I go back to it every few weeks and continue to shorten it. I just don't see how people I haven't even talked to in 4-5 years should have any right to know what's happening in my life. Unless of course, either they or I make the decision to get in touch. I don't want my life to be one for voyeurs. Not that it's anything fabulous or anything. I don't have a crazy glamourous life or one that's filled with cricket sounds either. My point is that I use this network to keep in touch with the ones I want to stay in touch with -- friendships, networking people, work people and others. I have my reasons for the ones I want to keep in touch with and I am sure that those who stay in touch with me (past silently creeping in on my albums and "wall") have their reasons as well.

Other than that, I think everyone else has had their chance at peeking in on my life without knocking on the door to say hello! To you people, I say "time's up!" Before you know it, you're going to be cut as well... not because I don't like you or because I think the worst of you... but simply because of the fact that if we haven't talked to each other in 4-5 years, chances are we won't talk for another 4-5 years. And in that time, things might change in my life.... or they may not. But I don't want to think about that, knowing you're being a creep, keeping tabs on me, and not saying one word. It's not cool.

My reasons for it are also simple: When I come online, I am innundated with numerous updates - photos, status updates, postings and so forth. I don't need reasons to stay online longer than I already do. I spend enough time in the computer anyway, because of school and work. The last thing I need is to spend time going through Susy Q's latest baby album, when I didn't even know she was on baby number three. Ya? Waste of my time. And usually, I only realize it when it's too late and 1/2 an hour has passed with me getting updated on Susy Q's life -- when I didn't care to begin with. Her damn update made me care.

Ok.

Anyway, if you're reading this, don't worry, I won't cut you out. Yet! ;)

I kid. Luv ya!

xo
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One of those afternoons...

Sometimes I wonder if absence does in fact make the heart grow fonder. I thought about this recently, after my visit to Goa. I'm not a fan of feeling so nostalgic, but I guess sometimes it can't be helped. I came back refreshed from the trip, but now all I can think about is finding a balance between my two worlds once again.

When I moved to Toronto, I always realized how much I missed my family and life when I was a child. However, it wasn’t until I came back for a visit, that I fully became aware of how much I longed to be back there.

When I left Goa for the second time this past May, I was taken back to my 10-year-old self. I don’t recall another day when I cried as much as I did then. I wasn’t sure where I was going or what was in store for me. It was exciting in a sense, but I also felt as though I was heading into uncertainty. All I knew was that I had packed everything that I “held near and dear” to me, in one little red suitcase. That was it. 10 years of my childhood in the smallest suitcase in the bunch.

After being back here for a month, I started to play around with thoughts of absence. What do I miss from my trip? What do I want to go back to? What did I want to bring with me? What did I leave behind?

I realize that whatever material things I left behind in Goa will continue to stay in the place I left them. Just like the pair of shorts I found from when I was eight, left sitting in my mother’s cupboard.

The cups and saucers will be as I left them – sitting in a rack by the kitchen sink. The books will be by my bed – as I left them in May 2008.

But what about the people? Will those who I hold so close to my heart be as I left them? Probably not. My family and friends have changed a lot over the past decade or so. People have died, and there have been many young additions. Loved ones have moved away while others have gone back to Goa in search of something they thought was missing in their lives.

I understand that change comes as a result of time. Still, there’s a part of me that hopes not much will change before my next visit or stay.

I was given a small taste of something that means the world to me. But for now, reality shows that that is all it can be ... a taste.

I wonder... if I play around with destiny and go with the flow, will my reality eventually be what I’d like it to be?

Perhaps in this case, only time will tell.

xo
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