A World Without Jerks?

Generally speaking, we're a bunch of jerks. We really are. I don't know if it's because I've experienced a terrible couple of incidents over the last few hours, but right now, I've got a general distaste for humanity.

A few months back I noticed a new ad campaign become prevalent on TTC billboards in Toronto. The campaign, featuring simple graphics and text, is part of this movement encouraging people to do good. It's called the People For Good project.

When I first stumbled across it, I couldn't help but smile, because I thought, "Wow! Here's a group of people who truly want to do well by this world. What a refreshing use of ad space!"

As time went by I began to notice more of these posters, and not just on the TTC anymore. The campaign had spread to the street, stores, and to bus shelters across the city.

I never really thought Toronto was a bad city, you know? I never thought it was filled with people who turn to anger before kindness, and selfishness over simple human consideration. I mean, I understood the point of the campaign, but I didn't think we needed to be reminded of it everywhere we went... to choose good.

But after my experiences this evening hit a boiling point, I realized just how essential it was. The sad reality is that we NEED to be reminded to do good. To be good. To choose good.

Today was a good day. After a stream of not-so-good days, I welcomed the end of my working hours, and headed to to the subway for my daily ride home. I stopped off to pick up my October metro-pass at the TTC booth, and after paying with my debit card, I asked the collector for a receipt. This request was met with a series of angry remarks from him, along with demeaning comments at a very loud tone:

"You already have your debit receipt!"

"You already have a receipt in your hand, why do you need another one? Can't you see what's already in your hand?"

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you stupid? Woman, just get out of here!" 

My request was simple: I asked him to provide me with an additional receipt to go along with my purchase, because another TTC employee had informed me in previous months, that this was needed for my own accounting purposes. But the employee from today's incident didn't want to hear it. Instead of explaining it to me simply, or asking me for my reason, he chose to yell and humiliate me in front of a growing line of customers.

If I didn't need an additional receipt, he simply had to tell me. If he didn't understand my request, he simply had to ask me. There was no need to yell.

Anyway, I walked away feeling about two feet tall, and completely embarrassed. All because I made a simple request. And for the record, I always pay with my debit card, and when I ask for a receipt, other TTC employees always provide a written one... that includes their signature and employee number.

*Deep Breath*

So suffice to say, my good day did a 180 and turned utterly horrible from this single incident. An incident that could have been avoided with simple customer service (that the TTC prides itself in delivering), active listening and understanding.

Then, while I was getting on the train, I saw a young man standing in the doorway while people were trying to get on. He was blocking the entrance, and making people walk around him, while he stood there with his backpack.

After a number of people squeezed through, one older man said, "Do you mind moving in a bit please? There's people trying to get on."

This simple comment made the young man so angry. The audacity that someone asked him to move in and show some consideration to the people trying to get on the train.

He smirked and responded  with, "Show some respect! Why do you care where I stand?"

Really? Show some respect? You're saying this to an older man who is asking you to show some consideration. The way I see it, you and your 15-year-old self have a lot to learn about respect. And of course he cares where you stand. We all do! Especially when where you choose to stand is making it difficult for other people to get into the train.

Most days, I just really don't understand people.

And then I got to thinking about this campaign. Wow! How desperately do we need it? How desperately do we need to be reminded that life doesn't have to move at a thousand miles a minute? That we don't need to be so quick to jump to judgment. That a wee bit of understanding can make such a huge difference in situations, and in life all together.

What's to gain out of being mean? All you're doing is hurting someone else. I understand that some situations warrant quick wit and rebuttal, because let's face it -- some people deserve what's coming to them. But in everyday behaviour? What do we have to gain by being rude? Unless you're some sort of sadist who thrives on the misfortune of others and from making people feel beneath you. If that's the case, I feel sorry for you. Life is about so much more than sitting on a high chair and looking down your nose at people.

There's something to be said about really connecting with people. About listening. About paying attention to things that don't necessarily involve you. About having points in your day, week, month, where you choose selflessness and kindness.

Doing good and seeing the reaction you get from your actions -- the smiles, the aura that changes from one of darkness and doom to hopefulness? There's nothing quite like it. It fills your soul and it becomes contagious.

So try it. Choose good. Do good. And watch how the wave spreads and takes over humanity. There really is no catch.

Call me a hopeless optimist, but I truly believe (down to my toes) that it's possibl/




xo
Simi
Images Courtesy of Google Images

Fragments of December

Today has been quite the day. Seems as though the doom and gloom of this recession is finally setting in. I feel like it's seeping into my being, taking over thoughts and moods that were otherwise quite optimistic and upbeat. Who would have thunk it, right? But please bear with me.

Note: I'm also openly accepting thoughts of optimism and positivity. So if you've got anything Deepak Chopra-worthy in you, please send it my way!

First off, I received a lot of feedback from the previous post about my experiences with the TTC. This led to Brad Ross (Director of Communications at the TTC) contacting me via Twitter about the entire incident. I'm glad he messaged me, and his understanding with the whole mess was absolutely appreciated.
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A recent conversation with my friend B revealed that she's hoping to move back to South Korea sometime in early 2011. The reason being that she's finding it difficult to secure a job in her hometown of York in the U.K. I absolutely understand how she's feeling (because it's pretty much the same situation in Canada), and I truly hope it works out for her. B is a wonderful person and she has a lovely wandering spirit, so I think traveling some more will be good for her soul. Cheers, dear friend!
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I also woke up to some devastating news today that a childhood friend of mine passed away in a sudden car accident last night. It was such an awful feeling once the news sunk in. What's worse is that thanks to social media, he's still somehow present and active online. As in, his profiles are still active -- although on Facebook, it's now turned in to an online memorial of sorts. It's all rather bizarre... though, I suppose it's also a testament to our time. These are definitely strange and new feelings to process.

It really got me thinking about 'last moments'. We don't know what our last moments on this planet will entail, really. Freak accidents happen all the time, and all it takes are mere seconds for our entire universe -- every bit of foundation that we've built our entire lives upon -- to shift and crumble into the abyss.

May your soul rest in peace, dear friend.
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Finally, I'm hoping something will give in 2011.

I'm currently taking this course titled, "Patience 101" at the School of Life, and it seems like there's a pop-quiz every day. Some days I do better, and some days result in epic failures.

I'd like to experience a win of some sorts in early 2011.

Yes, that would actually be quite lovely.

xo

An open letter to the Toronto Transit Commission

Dear TTC,

After years of defending you to to my friends and family, I think I've finally reached my limit. I don't normally use this blog to promote rants and thoughts that I know will lead no where. But I really need to get these feelings off my chest.

For the longest time I figured it was pointless for me to vent and complain about you because a.) There isn't an alternative form of public transportation in Toronto (and I depend on you far too much to go cold turkey), and b.) I thought it was wrong to let my feelings toward the misgivings of a few employees dominate the entire system.

But here I am... annoyed as hell. In the past two weeks I've experienced two incidents that I could have easily done without. Two bad experiences with the TTC in two weeks is two too much!

Let me enlighten you.

Every morning I catch the same bus to work. And for the most part, it has the same driver every time. Instead of walking to the subway station, I wait at the bus shelter by my house -- this is the first stop once the bus leaves the station. Last week, while caught in a downpour, I ran to the bus shelter and waited for my ride. I saw the bus coming down the street and walked out into the rain, only to have the bus drive past me, and stop beyond the intersection. I ran up to the bus and knocked on the door, which the driver opened -- much to his annoyance.

"When the weather gets like this, you cannot be in the bus shelter," he said, with an annoyed look. "You should walk to the station and wait there."

Really? I didn't see a sign up that said I needed to do that. And besides, another bus that went down a different route stopped at that same stop and picked up four people who were waiting with me. I conveyed this information to the driver, who just glared at me and repeated himself, warning me that if he saw me do this the next time, he wouldn't stop.

Wow. I didn't think they were allowed to make up their own rules. If he had simply let me in with a nod, I would have been fine. If he had let me in and apologized for overshooting the stop, I would have been better than fine. But he didn't do either of those things. Instead, he made it seem like it was somehow my fault. What? Waiting at a designated bus stop in the pouring rain became a crime while I was out of the country for the past year? News to me.

I was steaming from this incident, but I let it pass, chalking it up to a possible bad day for the driver. We all have those from time to time, and I figured he'd be nicer the next time I saw him.

Today I had the misfortune of having the same bus driver again. This time I wasn't the victim of his verbal aggression, but rather, a friendly older lady. The incident took place about 20 minutes into the bus ride. He pulled up to one of the bus stops and let a young man on. In fact, it might have been one of those 'rolling stops' where the bus is still moving while people get on and off.

The young man asked the bus driver to wait for a few seconds, because an elderly lady (with a cane) was scrambling to get to the front of the bus. (Keep in mind, this was during the first snowfall in December).

Once she boarded the bus, she casually joked with the driver and said, "Oh, you almost got away from me." It was cute, and I could tell she was trying to make light of the whole situation. His response to her was rude and absolutely uncalled for, and it's one of the reasons I'm writing this blog post tonight.

The driver turned to the lady who was trying to take out her bus fare and curtly said, "Pay your fare and take a seat." That's it. He could see her struggling to find her money (or tickets), and continued being mean to her. It seemed as if those few seconds he had to wait for her were so inconveniencing, he couldn't hold back his wrath.

The lady reacted kindly and said, "If you don't mind, I'm rather unsteady right now, please give me a few seconds..." Again, his reaction? "I said take a seat!"

The lady eventually paid her fare and wobbled over to one of the poles and stood for her journey -- which, as it turned out, was two stops down the road, so she didn't want to sit.

I wish I was the kind of person who could have gone up to that driver and given him a piece of my mind. I wish I had the nerve and courage to tell him what I really thought of him. Instead, all I did was sit there and fume over everything that had led up to these feelings. And I cursed him out in my mind.

When I came back to Toronto in September, I had to adjust to paying three dollars to simply enter TTC property. In Seoul, three dollars would get me from point A to point B and back. Actually, less than three dollars.

I understand that while I was away, the TTC decided they needed to revamp their whole attitude towards their riders, and began this campaign to focus on 'customer service'. Really? If this is what you call customer service, then I can't help but laugh in your face.

Again, there's this huge part of me that's screaming -- I shouldn't judge the entire Commission based on the actions of a few disgruntled employees. But really, when I see this same disgruntled employee day after day, driving the same route day after day, meeting the same patrons day after day, treating the same riders like scum... day after day, I can't help but feel that same spite towards the entire organization.

I don't think saying 'get your act together' will solve anything. All I know is this -- when Torontonians say they hate the TTC, there's a reason for it. Fares keep increasing, while employees sit with their unionized jobs, treating riders with such disdain and spite. And for what? Because we get upset when you treat us like we're not worthy of a hello (in return) or a legitimate pick up from a designated bus stop?

Perhaps if you start following your own rules, then your riders will follow suit. Perhaps if you stop threatening to go on strike and taking the city hostage every time you don't get your own way, then your riders will respect you and your work more. We know we can't live without you, and you know we can't live without you. The only difference is, you make sure to remind us of this every time you want something done your way (the better way?!).

That's all I have to say on that. For now.

SC

P.s. To further justify my irritation, I just moved back to Toronto from Seoul, Korea. With all the problems they're having on that peninsula, they sure have one thing right -- their transportation.

-You can take a train from Seoul to Busan (respectively, from the north of SK to the south) in under four hours.
-With the Korean won and Canadian dollar almost at par, it still only costs approximately 90 cents to get on a train or a bus.
-You can get wi-fi AND use your cell phone while riding the subway (which, mind you, is much further underground than in Toronto).
-Seoul has nine (NINE) subway lines. And they're building more, as I write this.

So... perhaps increasing fares and not having anything valid to show for it is a good enough reason for people to be steaming mad at you.

Image courtesy of Google Images